导师精选：电影《少年的你》：怎样培养一个高自尊的孩子？

 zuijinqukanle《shaoniandeni》，yingpianjiangdeshixiaoyuanbalingdezhuti，zhoudongyubanyandechennianshiyigezhengzaibeizhangaokaodeneixiangnvsheng，yixinzhixiangkaoshangyisuohaodaxue，gaibianzijihemuqindemingyun；ranerquebeixiaoyuanbalingzheweilaihetadelianggexiaogenbanzhemodekubukanyan。

yingpianzhongnvzhuchennianhejingchazhengyideyiduanduihuahenshiyinrenshensi。

chennianshuo：“gaokaowan，wojiubianchengdarenle，danconglaimeiyouyijiekegaosuwomenruhebianchengdaren。”

 zhengjingguanshuo：“zhangdajiuxiangtiaoshui，bishangyanjingshenmedoubuyaoxiang，wangshuilitiao。heliyoushazi、shitou、bangqiao，womendoushizheimezhangdade。”

wojuede，chennianneimexiangkuaidianzhangda，shiyinweiruoxiaodezijigenbenwufaziwobaohu。

chennianduizhangda、duikaoshangdaxue“zouchuqu”yuekewang，jiuyuefanyingchudangxiadeshengcunzhuangkuangyouduojiannan。

 chengzhanghuiyoutongku，danguoyuyanzhongdeshangtongbugaishichengzhangzidaideshuxing。henduoshihou，haizideguduwuzhushiquexidedarendailaide。

 youxierenkanleyingpianhoujuedebalingdeqingkuangxushudetaixiongcanle，qishizheizhongxiaoyuanbalingyinfamingandeshiqingyidianyebukuazhang，weichengnianrendeewangwangshiwuzhier“sunrenbuliji”de，jiuxiangyingpianzhongtiji：renzhangdalecaixuehuitongqing。

haizidexinzhidouweichengshu，eqilaihenkenengwanquanmeiyoufencun，genbenbushixiaohaizidadanaonaodewenti。

 xiaoyuanbalingduishouhaizheshenxindeyingxiangshihendade，jiuxiangshiduozouleshouhaizheyibufendeziwoyiyang，shouhaizhekenenghuiyanzhongfoudingzijidejiazhi。

 eryueshidizizundehaizijiuyuerongyichengweibeiqifudeduixiang，beiqilinghouruguomeiyoudedaobaohu，yougengjiakongjuyubuxinrenzheigeshijie，yihouderenjiguanxiyijiqinmiguanxidourongyishoudaoyingxiang，congerxianggunxueqiuyiyang，yuedaomeiyuebuxing。

 suoyiqilingbujinjinhuijihaiziliuxiaxinlingdechuangshang，yehuishihaizigengjiarongyichengweiyigebugantiyaoqiu、meiyouyuanzedixiandebuxingfuderen。

suoyi，jintianwoxianghedajiatanyitan：zenmeyangchengyigegaozizundehaizi？zenmedapo“yuedaomeiyuebuxing”demozhou？

一、先“爱自己”

1、zhaoguhaoziji，zuogehaobangyang

 zaiyingpianzhong，chenniandefumuzaojiulihunle，yuzhixiangyiweimingdemuqinkaomai“sanwuchanpin”demianmoweisheng。weileduobishangmentaozhaideshouhaizhe，zhangqibuzaijia。

 chenniandemamayiweizijizaiweihaizizanxuefei，shubuzhi，zhengshizijidebukaopucairanghaizixianrugukuwuyidejingdi。zheigedanqinjiating，kanqilaigengxiangshidongshiyinrendenverzaizhaogumama。

chenniandemamazongshihehaizishuo：“niyigerenzaijia，taozhaiderenyebunengnaniyigehaizizenmeyang。”

 youdefumusuiranguanxinhaizidewuzhishenghuoherenshenanquan，quejiqihulvehaizideganshou。ranghaiziyigerenmianduineimeduotaozhaideren，haizihuihenyayi，zheihuidaozhihaiziyanzhongdezibeiheruanruo。

ruguoshiyigezizunzixindehaiziyidinghuiyoufanjideyongqi，danshibukaopudefumuwuyijixiaoyuanbalingtigonglezizhangdewenchuang。

 suoyiaihaizibingbushiziyiweideweihaizixishenghuozheduozhengqian，zuizhongyaodeshi，zuohaozijide“renshenggongke”，jinliangbimianranghaizichengwei“liushouertong”。 qinggannantihenxinlei？10skuaisushenqingqingganzhenduan！

2、不做忍让的好人

 chenniandemamazongshihehaizishuo：“renguozheiyizhen，dengnishangdaxue，rizijiuhaoguole”，kaozhezheigexinnian，chennianyouhenqiangderennaili。yeshizheizhangdidiaorennaide“haorenlian”jilebalingzhekechengzhiji。

 yingpianzhongdebalingzheweilaidexiaogenbanbingfeidoushiziyuanzhuisui，youyigexiaogenbanhoulaiyechengweilebeiqilingdeduixiang，tafeichangbujiediduichennianshuo：“weishenmehuilundaowoa？womingmingshenmedoutingtamende。”

shubuzhi，balingzhetiaodejiushishuncongrenrangde“ruanshizi”。

youdefumubenshenjiushihenpashi，yushijiuduorangderen。

 youqishilaoyibeidefumu，xiguanlebuguansanqiershiyixianpipingzijidehaizi，shengpabierenshuozijihuduan。jiusuanfaxianshizijidehaizibeiwuduanqilingle，yehuizhiwenhaizi，weishenmebierenjiuqifuni？shenzhihuizemazijidehaizimeiyong。

fumudeweirenchushifenggeshihaizidemoban，ruguonizijidoubugouyonggan，neimenashenmelaibaohuzijidehaizini？

二、给孩子“信任的养料”

1、jiaohaizizhengquedixinrendaren

 kanwanzheibuyingpianhou，wodeyiweipengyouduiwoshuo：“beiqilingdehaizigaixiangxindarenma？gaosudarenyoushenmeyong？jingcha、laoshi、jiazhang，youduoshaorenzhendenenggoubangzhudaohaizini？”

shuoshihua，yingpianzhongdejingchahelaoshiyijinghenjinzhishanliangle。

 zaiwozijidechengzhangjinglizhongyeyudaoguogebiefeichangzaogaoshenzhishimeiyouliangxindelaoshi、haiyougebiexixihahaduzhidejingcha，shenzhiwozijidefumuyecengjingyouguoshiwochuyuguliwuzhudejingdi。

 zaineigejiaoyurenzhibufadadeniandai，womendefumukenenggenbenmeiyouyishidaobeiqilingdewenti，danwomenkeyicongzijizuoqi，ranghaizimingbai，womenyongyuanhuizainishenhouzhichini。

2、xinrenhaizi，bufangrenyebuyuezudaipao

qishi，haiziruguonenggouyongganduikanghuochulixiaoyuanbalingshijian，qishishinenggouduanliantajiejuechongtudenenglide。

 mianduibalingnenggouhenhaoweihuzijiliyidehaizi，wangwangshehuijingzhengligengqiang。suoyizaizhichitadeqiantixia，keyirangtazijiquchuli。

 dangran，wobingbuzhuzhangrangtayiduiduodebeiqunouqunchao。womenkeyizaijizutadiqideqiantixia，xianrangtaquzhaoziyuanlaijiejue，biruqugaosulaoshi。womenxiankankanlaoshichulideqingkuang，zaikaolvyaobuyaodadianhuadingninglaoshiyixia。

三、维持良好的亲子关系

 kanjianyingpianzhongdeshibaozheweilailengmoedudeyangzi，zheshihelewoyitiao。bijingtakanqilaijiajingyouwo，chengjiyehenyouxiu，haishigemeirenpizi。

buguozailejietafumude“conglinshi”jiaoyufangshihou，wozongsuanlijieleweilaide“yeshengdongwu”banwuqingdeyanshen。

 weilaidefumuhenmingxianzhizaihuchengji，duijiaoyudelijiezhiyouyoushenglietai，mamajiaoyunveryaohe“gaozhiliang”dehaizijiaopengyou，erbabagengjiawuqing，huiyinweinverfududeyuanyinzhengzhengyinianbuhenvershuohua。

 henmingxianzheiyangdefumushineixinmeiyouaide，qinziguanxiyefeichanglengmoshuli。haizizaitamenyanzhongzhishigongju，zheishenzhibipaoqihai“huirenbujuan”。

suoyiweilaiyeshigedizizundehaizi，taxuyaotongguoqiyatongxuelaixunqiuzijidecunzaiganhejiazhigan。

 womenyaoweichilianghaodeqinziguanxibingbushishuorangnitaohaohaizi，ershiyonghuxiangxinrenhelijiede、wennuaneryouyuanzedexiangchufangshi。

guanxihaole，haiziziranyejiuyuanyilijiehexinrenwomen，goutongqilaiyegengjiashunchangle。

四、孩子被欺凌了怎么办？

womenkeyigaosuhaizi，beiqifubushinidecuo，wozhichini，nibuxuyaorennai。

youpengyouhuishuo，ruguohaizihaihenxiao，yuyanbiaodanengliyouxian，gaizenmejiaotachulini？

bieji，womenkeyishoubashoudejiaohaizi，bingqiedailinghaizizaijialilianxi，zuofaruxia：

(1)womenkeyijiaohaizizhizheduifang，dashengjiaochuduifangdemingzi。

biruduifangjiaoxiaoming，jiukeyishuo“xiaoming，nibukeyizheiyangqifuwo！ruguonizaizheiyang，wojiuqugaosulaoshi！”

 (2)ruguoshuowanle，duifanghaishiqifuziji，neimeyidingyaogaosulaoshi，yinweiyidanmeiyouzheimezuo，balingzheyidinghuibianbenjiali。

(3)gaosuhaizihelaoshihou，wulunruhehuijiayidingyaogaosujiazhang。

 ruguolaoshituoshanchulile，womenkeyidagedianhuaganxieyixialaoshi，yeranglaoshizhidao，womenjiazhangshizhongshizheijianshide。ruguolaoshihaiweiyansuchuli，womenkeyidadianhuajilaoshi，weiwanshiya。

 (4)chulideshihou，zuizhongyaodeshiyidingyaoranglaoshijuedetashidiyigezhidaohaizibeiqilingzheijianshideren，erbushihaizizaixuexiaoshadoumeishuo，zhijiehuijiagaosufumu，fumuzaiquganyushenzhizhizelaoshi。

ruguojialidehaizihaihenxiao，keyijihaizimaiyixiefangqilingdeertonghuiben，dujihaiziting，hehaiziyiqitantao。

 haizidechengzhangzhiluzonghuiyouyinying，danzhiyaowomenzaishenhoumomozhichi，haiziyitaitoujiunengkanjianyangguang。xiangxinwomenkeyiranghaizibubishenghuozaiyingouli，nengziyouyangwangxingkong。

作者 | 杨夏