情感维系必修课：这样去沟通，男人才会听你的

 shenghuobuhuiyifanfengshun，ganqingyeshiyiyang，maodunyuzhengzhishichangyoufashengdeshiqing，danshizheixiechongtuzaishihoukanlai，doubushihenyanzhongdeshiqing，zhishiganqingshangdekekepengpeng。

 xiangshiduifangyinweimangyugongzuolianxujigexiaoshimeiyouhuifuziji，zheixiedequerangrenhenshengqi，danshiruguoduifangzaigongzuokaishizhiqianxianghujiaodaihao，neimechongtujiuhenrongyibimianle。

 danruherangduifangnenggoutingzijidehua，shuncongzijideyisi，zaizijichulijiatingyugongzuozhiyu，dedaoduifangdetiliangyulijie，zheijiuxuyaoyidingdejiqiao。

 zaizheilixianshuoyuanze：yidingyaorangmaodunhezhengzhiyoujiazhi，youjiazhidemaodunshirangaiqingshuangfangyuelaiyueqihedejihui，meijiazhidemaodunzhinengshirangaiyihaojiedeheidong。

第一个毁灭信使是直接的蔑视。

fanbaiyanderen，zheiyangdexingweizairenhexiangchuguanxizhongjinlibimian。

 mieshideyanxingbaohanleyigeqiantaici，jiushibaduifangfangzaileyigebizijigengdidediwei，huozherenweiduifangdeyanxingbukeliyu。“nixianzaizheimedideshouru，zufangduinieryanshigetingdadefudanba。”leisidehuaduiqinmiguanxichongmanleshashangli。

meigerendouxuyaobeizunzhong，dangranyebunengyiweidishuncongduifang，ershifangpingxintai，biciguanhuai。

第二个是蹩脚的讥讽。

 mieshiqueshibulimao，danshimieshideneirongbijingyoukenengkeguancunzai，biruduifangzhenyoukenenggezibugougaoma，zongranyouyidingshanghai，danshizijiyemeishuoxiahuama。

erjifengdetaoyanzhichuzaiyu，tashiyizhongkeyide、duitarentezhidecuowupingjiayucuowuyanshen。

 “nizoukainizoukai，meiyoujingangzuanbielanciqihuo，xiangxianbaishenme？”jifengzaichaoxiaoletarenxingweidetongshiyefourenletarendejiazhi，taqujieledangxiadeshejiaoqingjing，rangjiaoliubianleweidao，zirannanyiduigoutongchanshengjijiyingxiang。

第三个是无端的戒心。

 bingbujinjinshizaiyanyuzhongchongmangongjixingdejiansuankebozhecairangrengandaobukuai，basuoyouwaijiexinxidoudangzuoshiduizishengongjiderentongyangyebingburongyirangrenxihuan。

 zheiyangderenbashenbiandaduoshurendoudangzuojiaxiangdi，tamenwangwanghuiyuxianjiashetarenduizijiyousuotumou，erbierendeyiyanyixingzaitakanlaidouqiaqiazhengminglezheiyidian。

 “nimenkan，wojiuzhidaonizaojiuduiwoyouyijianle，zenmeyang，zangbuzhuleba。”zheiyangdehuajingchanghuibajiaoliudaijinwuzhongshengyoudemaodunzhizhong，jishejiaohuanjingyuxiantieshanglemaodundebiaoqian。

 youderen，zaiqinmiguanxili，youshenmebumanyile，jibubiaodayebugoutong，jiudaizheyizhong“qingkaishinidebiaoyan”deyanshen，dengzheduifangdiaokeng。

 yidanduifangdiaokengle，liketiaochulai，yongbutinglaorenyan，chikuizaiyanqiandetaidugaohan：“wogennishuoguoba，wozaojiuzhidao！”

第四个毁灭信使叫消极的沉默。

 keyilijiewei“lengbaoli”，womenjingchangkandaoxiaohaiziouqibushuohua，huiqigugudezuozaiyipangpiezhezui，wulunshiqingshishenmeyuanyou，caiquxiaojideqingxubiaoxianfangshi。

bazheizhongjiaoliufangshizhuanyidaochengrenshenshang，nijiuzhidaoshenmeshixiaojidechenmole。

 zheizhongfunengliangdebiaoxianwangwangshiyinweiduifangshuoletabuaitingdehua。tabuxuanzefanbohuozhebianjie，quezhixuanzebaohanleqifennuhuohesanfenweiqudechenmo。

 sheidoukeyikandechutabugaoxing，ketabenrenjiushijueqiangdizuozaineili，sheiyebudali，jujuerenhejiaoliu，chengweishejiaochangshangyikuaiyouchouyouying、danyerangrenwufahushideshitou。

yishangsizhongjiaoliufangshishizaishejiaohuodongzhongzuirongyichuxian，bingqieyingxiangdajiabiciganshoudejiaoliufangshi。

 nizijihuibuhuiyouyiwuyididaiyouyixiezheiyangdebiaodafengge？neijiuyidingyaoyueshuziji。zheixiebiaodafangshiniyongdeyueduo，duifangjiurangniniandeyueyuan。

neiwomengaizenmebanni？chuleziwoyueshuzhiwai，haiyoujigefangfa，keyibangzhunibimiandiaojinmaodundexuanwo。

shouxian，jiushishikejijiaoliubenshenzugoudeyouxianji。

 yuqitashiqingxiangbi，jiaoliuzaijuedaduoshuqingkuangxia，douyinggaigengyouxian。jintianbunachushijianhaohaogoutong，mingtianyidingyaohuagengduoshijianhenhenchaojia。wulunshinayifangtichugoutongdexuqiu，lingyifangdouyoubiyaojinjisuonengjinkuaijinrudaogoutongdezhuangtaizhong，qingtinghetantaoqinmiguanxizhonglingyifangdexuqiu。

 youhenduorenxiangdangrandirenweizheishiyijianzijiyijingzuodehenhaodeshiqing，danshishishishangwomenjuedaduoshurenzaizheiyidianshangrengranyouhendadegaishankongjian。

qici，weibiyaokendingduifangdeguandian，danyidingyaorenkeduifangguandiancunzaihelixing。

zaigoutongdeguochengzhongzongshinanmianhuiyoufenqi，nvxingxiangyaoguangjieernanxinggengxihuanchuizhekongdiao、hezhekeledawangzherongyao。

 womenkeyibupeizheduifangguangjiehuozhekanqiusai，danyebunengjiecirenweiguangjiejiushixiahuaqian，huozherenweikanqiusaijiushilangfeishijian。

womenkeyiduiduifangdeguandianchibaoliuyijian，danshibunengjinjinyinweitarentongzijideyijianbutongyijiufourentaren。

 gongqingnengliyouxiudefuqihunyinmanyidugenggao，ergongqingnengligaodedianxingbiaoxianjiushishanyuzhanzaitarendejiaodukandaiwenti，jinerlijietarendexiangfa。

xintaixuejiakedekedeyanjiuzhengmingle，buyuanfenxiangzishennengliderengengrongyixianrulihundekunjing。

 zheiqishihenhaolijie，womentoushendaoyansudeqinmiguanxizhong，danruguobuzhengqian、buzuojiawu、budaihaizi、bulangman、zishenyebingmeishenmedutedexiyinli，zheihenrongyiyinqibanlvdebukuai。

 zaixinrenqinglvzhizhongyeyiyang，qinggantouziduoshaodoushixuyaohuibaode，ruguoyifangzaibuduandifuchushijian、tili、jinglishenzhimingshengheqitagengzhongyaodeziyuan，tongshiyoubunengdedaorenheyoujiazhidehuibao，weixizheiduanaiqingziranjiubiandehenkunnan。

 zuihou，jiusuanbicijianyijinghenshule，yerengranyaoyongjijidecihuitichuyaoqiu。yinweijiusuanyijingchengweilianren，renmenyegengxihuanlianghaodetaidu，shuxibenshenbuyingdangchengweibulimao、bukeqideyuanyin。

 womenchangshuoxiangjingrubin，bingbushixuweizuozuo，gengduodehaishiyaoqiangdiaoyurenweishan。qiaqiayinweiduifangshinishengmingzhonghenzhongyaodegeti，suoyicaigengyingdangyilixiangdai，xiaolianxiangying。

 neishenmeshijijicihuini？zuidianxingdejijicihui，qishikenengzaiyoueryuanlimianjiujiaoguole——xiexie，qing，duibuqi，meiguanxi。

文|陈潮威