恋爱宝典：如何提高男人的沉没成本，让他离不开你？

jingchangyourenhuiwenwoyigewenti：ruhetigaonanrendechenmeichengben，rangnanrenlibukaiwo。

bingyanshenglebushaozhoubianwenti。

biru：ruherangnanrenweiwohuagengduoqian?

ruherangnanrenjiwomaikouhonghebaobao?

buweiwohuaqiandenanrenshibushibuaiwo?

……

jintianwolaijidajialilizheixiewenti：

01

当一个姑娘问出怎么样才能让男人离不开我的时候。

1)zheigewentilishouxianbaohanleyigeluoji：wobixuzuodaoyishangshenmechengducainengrangnanrenlibukaiwo?

2)chucizhiwai，wohuisikaoguniangweishenmeyaonanrenlibukai，shibushitaduidangxiadeganqingzhuangtaibingbumanyi，taxuyaoganqingchengxianchuyigegenghaode、gengjiejintalixiangdezhuangtai，tacaianxin。

3)zaiwangxiasikao，guniangweishenmeyaodadaolixiangdeganqingzhuangtai?tayinggaishixianzaideganqingbingbushihenkuaile，huozheshitongkude，tajinruyiduanganqingheyigenanrenlianai，tademudeshiyaokuaile，erbushishiwangnanguodengdeng。

qishizaiqingganxingyezheimejiu，jiechubutongdeanli，suoyoutiwendenannannvnv，zuizhongtamendewentidouzhixiangyigezhongdian：woruhehuodexingfukuaile?

02

我们一个一个问题来看，姑娘问：如何提高男人的沉没成本，让男人离不开我?

fanyiyixiazheijuhuajiushi：tigaolenanrendechenmeichengben，nanrenjiulibukaiwo。

zheigeluojizhendeshunyingqingganshijielideyunxingguizema?

nanrendefuchuwomenkeyiculvedefenweilianglei：

yileishikuailedefuchu，tafuchudeguochengzhonghefuchuzhihoudeshijianli，tabuhouhui，bingqieganjuedaokuailehemanzu，tashiyoujiazhide。

wolaijulishuoming：taweinimaileyijianyifu，nihenxihuan(zhenxinde)，shenzhinimenyiqiqumouchanghe，dajiahuikuajiangzheijianyifu。goumaizheijianfubushinibilaide，yemeiyouyingxiangnanrendeshenghuopinzhi。

zaijuli，nigongzuoyudaonanti，nanrenbangnizhaodaoleyigegenghaodegongzuojihui，nihuangongzuohoujingshenzhuangtaimingxianhaohenduo，nanrenjuedezijishiyoujiazhide。

huozhenizailubiankandaoyigedianpudeqiaokeli，nanrenbuzhuodaonideyanshen，qiaoqiaomaixialai，huidaojianicaifaxian，niyoujingxideganjue，nanrenyeyincikaixin。

dierleishitongkubiequbukuailedefuchu，fuchuguochengzhongtabuqingbuyuan，fuchuzhihoutakongjuzheigefuchushoubuhuiduiyingdehuibao。

biruwoyigexueyuan，tadenanyouzhunbeilianggerendewanfanshihuiqiangdiaoziji“haoburongyizuodunfan”，laifangdazijidezuofangonglao，yefeichangzaiyinvyoushifouganenzijidezuofanxingwei。

suirantashiziyuanweinvyouzuofan，danshitaneixindebuqingyuanhexingweishangdeziyuanshichongtude，neimezheigefuchuguochengnanrenshihaipade，tabukuaile。

zaibiru，nihenxihuanyigebaobao，feiyaonanrenmai，nanrenbingbuxiangmai，ninachu“niaiwojiudeweiwomai”，laiyaoqiunanren，nanrenchuyubuganbiaodahuozheqitayuanyinmaile，neimezirannanrendefuchuyeshibukuailede。

yishangliangzhongfuchufenbiehuiyoushenmeyangdeyingxiangni?

diyizhongfuchu，kuailedefuchu，nannvshuangfangdounengganshoudaojiazhigan。

nvfangjuedezijishibeiguanzhude，nanfangjuedezijinengchuangzaorangduifangkuailedejiazhi，shuangfangshimanzude。

zheizhongganqingwangwangbijiaojiangupingshun，zheigeguochengzhongnannvshuangfangdouzaifuchuhehuibao，shuangfangdouyouchengben，danshishuangfangdoubutingdizaishouhuogengdadehuibao，biciduiganqingdeyilianchengdugao。

bujinnanrenlibukaini，niyelibukainanren，danshishuangfangbuhuiyouzheizhongkongju：wolibukaiduifang，erduifanglidekaiwozenmeban。yinweitamendeganqingshiliudongde，shuangfangnengganzhidaoganqingdezhenshilianjie。

tamendefuchubushichenmeichengben。

dierzhongfuchu，bukuailedefuchu，zheizhongnanrenpubianganshoubudaozijifuchudekuaile。

shouxianzheileinanrenfeichangxihuanmianqiangzijifuchu，jingchanghuibeileisi“woshinanren，wojiugaizenyang”dejiazhiguanshufu，wufazuncongzijineixinzhenshideyiyuan，huibizijifuchu，wufaxiangshouzheigefuchudeguocheng。

zheigefuchubingbujiyunvfangdezhenshixuyao，beifuchudenvfangziranyewufaganzhidaozheizhongfuchuliyounanrendeguanzhuheshuangfangdelianjie。

shihounanfanghuibazheigefuchujieguonachulaiyaoqiunvfanglaimaidan，ernvfangziranbuyuanyimaidan，shuangfangdoushishude。meiyourenshouhuohaochu。

zheizhongmoshili，nannvshuangfangdechengbencainengjiaochenmeichengben，erqieshuangfangdechenmeichengbendoufeichanggao。

liangrenbiciyuanhenduifang，zhizeduifang，aiyuanzijidefuchumeiyouhuibao，duifangshibaiyanlang。huxiangzhengduohuayuquan，qiangpoduifangchengrenzijidegonglao。

zheiyangdeganqingfeichangcuiruo，chuguidekenengxinggenggao。bicigeng“lidekaiduifang”。kenengmeiyouwaibumaodunlaiyingxiangtamen，tamenzijijinjinyinweidouhuafangyanhaishifangtangjiunengnaodetianfandifuerzouxiangfenshou。

03

所以问题1里的逻辑：“提高了男人的沉没成本，男人就离不开我”并不成立。

shishiyinggaishi：dangbicidefuchushixinganqingyuan，shikuailefuchudeshihou，bicidechengbenhuichanshengfengfudelianaitiyanhuibao，ganqinggengwengu，nanrengenglibukaini。

dangwomengaodonglezheizhongzhenshideqingganyunxingguize，ziranbuzaiwenshangmiandeyixiliewenti。

guanyuruhetigaonanrendechenmeichengben，ruherangnanrenweiwohuaqian。

jiezhewomenlaikanqianmianshuodewenti2：guniangweishenmeyaonanrenlibukai，shibushitaduidangxiadeganqingzhuangtaibingbumanyi，taxuyaoganqing chengxianchuyigegenghaodegengjiejintalixiangdezhuangtai，tacaianxin。

zheishiyigedianxingdechenmeichengbenfeichanggaodeguniangcaihuiyoudexintai，tazaiganqinglidaliangfuchu，buguanshijinglihaishishijianhaishiwulidengdeng，kenengdoudaleshuipiao，meiyourangtaganshoudaolixiangdehuibao。

birutianmideganqingzhuangtai，beinanrenguanzhuhexihuandeganjue，tadoumeiyouxiangshoudao。

tahuichanshengshoushangdeganjue，fangyujizhiziranqidong。

yigechongmanfangyuderenzaiganqinglihuibiandebuganfuchu，bingqiezongshifangyuduifangshanghaiziji，zheizhongganjuetaibushufule。

zheigeshihouhuiyouyigezoujiejingdesiluzainaozilichuxian：ruguowonengkongzhiduifang，baduifangdapaxia，neimewojiuanquanle。

yushiguniangkaishixuexi“qingganzhishi"，ruherangnanrengengtinghua--yanbian--ruherangnanrenlibukaiwo--yanbian--rangnanrenyougengduodechenmeichengbenjiulibukaiwole，wojiuanquanle!

cishibuguanduomelihaigaomingdelaoshihezhishidouhuilunweiguniangkongzhinanrendegongju。

ziranliangrenxianrukunshouzhidou，yuanhengengshen，gengfangyu，zhengduokongzhiquanzhengduodegengjilie。

zuihougezidaizheshanghenlikaizheiduanguanxi。

zheiliyouyigerenzhishangdewuqu：womenyongyuanbukenengtongguokongzhibierenlairangzijibushoushang，zhinengtongguoxuehuibaohuzijirangzijibushoushanghai。

zenmebaohuzijini?huidaobukuailedefuchuneili，jujuebizijizuobuqingyuandefuchu，jiangdichenmeichengben。congzheilikaishilianxi，yidiandianzuncongzijideneixin，xuehuibaohuziji，buzaizijishanghaiziji。

laikanwenti3，guniangweishenmeyaodadaolixiangdeganqingzhuangtai?tayinggaishixianzaideganqingtiyanbingbushihenkuaile，huozheshitongkude。tajinruyiduanganqingheyigenanrenlianai，tademudeshiyaokuaile，erbushishiwang、nanguodengdeng。

womenmeigerenjinruaiqingshiweilekuaile，weilexingfu，weiledikangyushengjulaidegudangan，weileyougerendongwo，kanjianwo、renkewo、jienawo、zunzhongwo，wokeyishiwoziji，wohuodele“wo”deziyou。

danshidangyigeguniang，jinruaiqing，tabujierenxing，bulejieqinggandeyunxingguize，kepadeshiqingfashengle，tasuonulide、jianchideshiqingjingranhetaxiangyaodejieguobeidaoerchi。

她越努力越痛苦。

dangtazhuiqiutigaonanrenchenmeichengbendeshihou，tayijinglitaxihuandenanrenyuelaiyueyaoyuan，dudanhebeipaoqidekongjusuizhierlai。

womendouxiangyaokuailedelianaitiyan，dangniyuanyiguanzhu、yuanyixiangxinganqingdezhenshizhuangtai，zirannengzhangwoqinggandeyunxingguize。

dangnishunyingneixin，shunyingzheigeguize，ziranhuodeanquan。

dangnigandaoanquan，ziranganyufuchu，youxinsitengchulaijuechaduifangdexuqiu，nicainengkanjianduifang，cainengzaiganqinglizhenzhengdechuangzaojiazhi。

tayinciganshoudaonideaiyi，niganshoudaojiazhigan，nimendeqingganziranliudongqilai，nimendeganqingyuelaiyuejinmi。

yiqierucizirandefasheng，buyongnifeijinxinsi，buyongnijinjindebengzhefangzhe，nimenzhishilianggerendexiangyieryi。

yishangbuguannannvdoushiyong，qinggandexuexibufenxingbie~

tixing：zheilimeiyoushuobukeyihuanan/nvrenqiandeyisi，qianyeshiyizhongkeyitishengshuangfangaiyidejiezhi，rangshuangfangdeguanzhuliudongqilai。

文 | 魏梦琦