导师精选：挽回两人的关系，得看这一点

80niandai，xintaixuejiefazhanchuchengrenyifulilun。

 womenkaishizhidao，yifulianjiefashengzaisuoyoudezhongyaoguanxilimian，bingbushijintianwomenzhangdale，womenbuxuyaochinaile，buxuyaohuanniaobule，jiubuxuyaoyifulianjie。

 yifulilundexiangguanyanjiu，jiguanxidezhiliaodailailejidadefazhan。tagaosuwomen：xuqiucongnalilai？womenruhezuohao？womendexuqiuyoushiruheyanhuade？womenweishenmehuizaiguanxizhongjuedebumanyi？

jintianwomenjiulaikankanyifulilunshizenmeyingxiangwomendeguanxiba。

一、我们的需求从哪里来？

dajiakeyihuiyiwomenxiaoshihoukandedongwushijie。

 birulimiandexiaoxiong，congchushengdaozhangda，tamenfumuhuizuoshenme？jitamentigongshiwu、weibaotamen，baohutamenanquanhejiaohuitamenshengcunjineng。haiyourangtamendexiongdijiemeilianxidajiahefangweitaopaodejineng。

yifuyeshiyiyangde，tashiyushengjulaidexuqiu，shidongwuqiushengcundebenneng，womenbunengxuanzeyaohaishibuyao。

二、依附需求是如何转变的？

keshiwozhangdale，wobuxuyaomamahuozhenvpengyoujiwozuofan，bangwotigongshiwu，neimexuqiujiuxiaoshilema？

qishimeiyou，zhibuguoyonglelingwaiyizhongfangshibiaoxianchuxuqiu。

zheiyangkeyirangwomenzaibanlvdeshenbiandoudedaozhaogu。zaiguanxilimian，birushuo，chengrendeqinglv，tamenkeyizenmezhaoguduifang？

birujiangchaimiyouyanjiangcuchazheiyangdeshenghuoshangdezhaogu：

nijintianzaiwaimianchifan，chileyigetebiehaochidecai，nidabaoyifendaihuijia，zheigejiaobujiaozhaogu？

zheigezhaogudeyisishi，niyoukuailedeshihounihuixiangdaoduifang，heduifangqufenxiang。

huozheshishuo，meiyicitianqibianlengle，jiufaxianchedechoutilihuizidongchuxianshoutaomaozi，zheigeyeshizhaogu。

huozheshimeigeyuechezianshibeiqingxiganjing，zheigeshibushizhaogu？

那么保护呢？

 wohenimachaojiadeshihou，nimeiyouzhanzaiwozheibian。nigenbierendajiadeshihou，youyigerenzainidepangbian，bingjianzuozhan，jinililiang，zheigebushibaohushishenme？

 suoyizheigeshiwomenzaiguanxizhongxuyaode，bingbuyinweiwomenzhangdachengrenlejiubuxuyaole，zhibuguobiandebushineimepinfandexuyao。

 erqieyebuhuibiandetebiedezhijie，ruguoxianzaisiwushisuile，moutianhepengyouchaojia，womenshibukenengshuo：woyaonixianzaidadianhuaguoqumata。

三、依附需求没有被满足会怎么样？

 suoyi，womenkeyikandao，shenghuozhongdelianggeren，huiyinweiyixieshiqingdaozhiqingganpolie。congyifuxuqiudejiaodulaikan，shijishangdoushimeinengmanzuduifangdeyifuxuqiu。

cengjingzuoguodeyicizixundangzhong，yiduifuqidaizhehaizichuquchiwanfan，ranhouchiwanfanjiuzaidenggongjiaoche。

 taitaizhuanshenbeiduimalu，kanchuchuanglideshangpin，ranhoukanzhekanzhe，jiutingdaolegongjiaochedeshengyin，faxiangongjiaochelaile，kelaogonghehaiziyijingshangchebujianle。tajiuganjuehenshoushang，tajuedexianshengzhizaihuhaizi，buzaihuta。

 yushi，tazuoleyiduanshijiandezixun。zhongyu，guanxiyouleyidiangaishan，dajiachiledunfan，ranhouxianshengjuranpaole。tajiuhuijiadachaoyijia，yaogentalihun。

 taxianshengjieshishuo：gongjiaochelaile，lianggehaizitiaoshangqu，ranhouxianshengshiyouhuitouhantadetaitai，danshitameiyoutingdao。tajiujuede，haiziyijingshangchele，yaobaohuhaizi。haizizijihuishangche。

keshizheigebushitaitaideganjue，taitaijuedezheixiedoushijiekou，nibuzaihuwo，woyoumeiyoushangchenidoubuzhidao。

qizibeizhongshidexintaixuqiujiumeiyoudedaomanzu，guanxideliefengjiuchanshengle。

四、需求会有哪些？

womenkeyikandao，yigerenwufamanzuzijisuoyoudexuqiu。

 chengran，yigerenkeyiyouqiangdadejingjinengli，danshiwomenyeyoushencengcixintaidexuqiu，zheixieshencengcidexintaixuqiuyou：beizhichi、beixinshang、beilijie、beizunzhong、beiguanzhudengdeng。

五、我们并不是没有需求，只是没有启动。

tongchang，womenbuxuyaobierendeanwei，yebuxuyaoshikedebaohu。

 womenmeiyou24xiaoshidexuyao，yibanshizaisangeqingjingyifuxitonghuibeiqidong，zaizheigeshihou，womenhuigandaotebiekongjuhebuqueding。

 jiuxiangxianzainizuozaibangongshilihuixiwangnidepeiousanfenzhongjinichuanyigeduanxin，woxiangni，aini。zheizaimouxieshihouyouhuijuedehenjiayouhenfan。

diyi，dangwomendeshenghuohuoguanxichanshenggaibiandeshihou，caihuiqidongyifudexuqiu。

duibanlvlaijiang，shenghuohuoguanxichanshenggaibiandeqingxing，shishenmeni？youyixia：

工作调动；

生病；

婚变；

外遇；

生小孩；

搬家；

破产；

中彩票；

买房；

讲话冷淡不耐烦；

fenpeideshijianyuelaiyueshao；

liangrenzhijianqinmidefuqishenghuomeiyoule。

dier，guanxidebuquedingxingzenggao。

 buquedingxinggaodeshihou，xianghenduowaiyuhuitouderen，weishenmeshuolingwaiyigerenyaoyizhifanjiuzhang？huiyouzheimeduodefunengliang，tijizheixiebuyukuaideshiqing，guoqujiuguoqula，woyijinghuilaila。

yinweizheixiewaiyudebeipan，guanxidebuquedingxinggao。

birushuo，wozenmezhidaonizhendehuilaile？

wozenmezhidaonishuode“niaiwo，nimeiyouxiangnianta”shizhende？

yishangdeqingkuang，shibushidoushibuqueding？

suoyidangbuquedingxinggaodeshihou，tayifudexuqiujiutebiegao。

 womenkeyikandao，zaiguanxichuxianweijishi，jiushixuqiumeiyoubeimanzudeshihou。shihou，womenyinggaisikaohelejieduifangdeneixinxuqiu，bameiyicinaomaodundejihui，doudangchengshifaxianduifangneixinxuqiudejihui。

 weijijiushiweixianjiajiyu，dangwomenzaizhengchaoguohou，yeyinggaiyoushenrudejiaoliu，womengezixuyaodeshishenme？youxuyaoduifangruhequzuo？anzhaozheiyangdesilufenxi，ganqingcainengbimianyuezouyuewai。

文|咨询师·卢博