导师精选：你付出那么多，为什么他无动于衷？

zixunzheajuanlaidaowodezixunshi。zuowanceshiliangbiaozhihou，xianshiyoutongkuqingxubansuizheqingduzaokuang。

 zhengzhuangcongtasangeyueqiandadiaodisangehaizikaishi，fazhandaoxianzaiyiwufajingxiaxinlaigongzuo。taxiwangtongguoxintaizixunrangzijihuiguidaozhengchangdeshenghuozhong。

 zaizixunzhong，tahualehenduoshijianshuomingzijideqingkuang。zheiyangdeqingkuangzaixintaizixunzhongbijiaochangjian，danzheigeanliquerangwoxiangqilelingyigeanli。

 xiaohonghenanpengyouxiangshi8nian，12niandeshihou，shuangfangjiuquedinglenannvpengyouguanxi，13nianshijianlefumu，xiangchuhaixing。yiqiedouzhengchangbenzhejiehunqu。zhihou，lianggerenkaishiletongjushenghuo，manyukuaide。

 zhidao13niandi，youyitiannanfanggenxiaohongshuotazaiwaimianyoulebiedenvren，suiranxinlihenaixiaohong，danneigenvrenyouleshenyun，budebujiehun。

xiaohongdangshiyilianmeng，yishibuzhidaogaizenmeban。

 nanfanganweita，genzheigenvrenjiehunzhishiweilemingfen，dengshengwanhaizizhihoujiuhuilihun，binggentajiehun，yinweizhenzhengaideshixiaohong。

houlaixiaohongmanzhejiaren，jieshoulezheigezaiwairenkanlaihuangmiudeshiqing。

 cengjingyouliangniandeshijianguozhedisanzhedeshenghuo，zaizheiqijiannanrenduitahaishiyouguanxinzhaogu。youyunanshengheqizibuduanzhengchao，zuizhonglihun。

 fangfojiuxiangnanshengzhiqiandayingxiaohongdeneiyang，xiaohongdingzhuqinqipengyoudejudayali，zaicihezheigenanrenyiqishenghuo，qidaihenanrenweilaidejiating。

houlai，xiaohongyiwaihuaiyun，dangtadezhizijiyoulebaobaoshi，feichangkaixinhenanshengshuowomenyouhaizile，womenqujiehunba。

 nanrenqueshuo，dangxiatadeshiyezhengzaishangshengqi，haimeiyouqian，bunengmaifangzi，meiyoubanfayanghuotamenmuziliang。shuo：“womennianqingyihouhaizihaihuiyoude，dangxiazuizhongyaodeshixianhaohaogongzuoxianzhuanqian。”，yushiquanxiaohongqudadiaohaizi。

 zuizhong，xiaohongbeinanshengquanquyiyuandadiaolehaizi，zhihounanshengquyiyuanxixindizhaoguxiaohong，zheiyerangdiyiciliuchandexiaohongxinlimiandedaolejidadeweijie，xiangxinzheigenanrenshiaitade，zhishiyinweizanshijingjishangdetiaojianbuyunxu。

 dangxiaohongchuyuanzhihouzijicidiaolewendingdegongzuo，zuoqileshengyi，jingguoyinianduodexinkudapin，queshiyezhuandaoleqian，helaogongshangliangzhedasuanmaifang，jiehun。

 danzaizheishihou，laogongqueshuoxiwangnengnazheixieqianzuoyibitouzi，dengzhuanlegengduodeqiankeyimaiyigegengdadefangziyibudaowei，yushixiaohongnachulezijidejixuyue30wanjiaojinansheng。

zenzhitianbusuirenyuan，daoxiayiniannianchunanrendetouzijihuquanbupochan。yushimaifangdexiwangzaicichengweilepaoying。

 xiaohongcishiyishisanshiduosui，feichangkewangyongyouyigejiadeta，kenqiuzijinianmaidefumuweitazaizheigechengshifushoufu，xiwanghenanrenkeyijinruhunyin。

 nanshengbiaoshifangzibingfeizijimaide，zheiyangjiehunhenxiangshiruzhui，wufajieshou。xiwangxiaohongzaijitajinianshijianqufendou，nenggouqumaishuyuzijidefangzi。

xiaohongweilerangnanshengfangxin，zaifangbenshangxielelianggerendemingzi。

bayuefenxiaohongzaicihuaiyun，liangrenyuedingniandijiehun。

shiyiyuefashenglexijuxingdeyimu。xiaohongluguoyiyuanxiangquzuoyixiachanjian，faxiannanrenjingdaizhelingwaiyigenvshengzaiyiyuanli。

 chennanrenbuzai，xiaohongqianqudating，dezhicinvshengyiwaihuaiyunshilaiduotaide，chengnanrenweizijidenanpengyou。zheishiruqingtianpiliyiban，rangxiaohongtanzuozaizuoweishang，dangnanrenkandaolianggenvrendeyishunjian，youshuozheishigeyiwai。

zheigeanlili，xiaohongweizheigenanshengfuchulezijideqingchun。

 suirantayizhizainuli，xiwanghenanshengyouyigejia，dandaozuihoufaxianzheiyiqiedoushizijideyigehuanxiang。yushi，xiaohongjuedingdadiaohaizi，paoqijiehunzheigehuanxiang，likailezheigeshuxidechengshi，kaishixunzhaozijixiangyaodeshenghuo。

 ajuanrangwoxiangdaolexiaohongdegushi。jintianwobazheigegushiyefenxiangjidajia。womenbushiqujiekaiyigeyiweifuchudenvrendeshangba，ershiwomentantaoruhenengrangshenghuohaoyixie？

 henduonvshenghuiyouzheiyangdeyigexintaiqiwang，zhiyaowoduitahao，tazonghuiganhuade，danxianshishinidehaozaitakanlaikenengbingbushihao。

suoyinideganhuaduitalaishuokenengbuzhiyiwen，neimetayouruhebeiganhuani？

jiuxiangamier·laiwenjiaoshousuoshuo：

ruguonifaxianleyigerenduiaiqingshimeiyourenhefuchude，neimebuyaoduoxiangqingyuanlita。

woyizhirenweizaihunyinzhongyufangdayushihoumibu。youhenduoshiqingzaifazhanqianjiuyijingyousuoyuzhao，zhishihenduoguniangbingbuzaiyi。

suoyijintianwomenjiulaijiangyijiangzaiqinmiguanxizhong，ruhebimianzijichengweiyiweifuchudenvren？

一、摆正感情交往顺序

 yigexiangduizhengquedeganqingjiaowangshunxuyinggaishi：xiangshi-jiaopengyou-youzhangqichengnuo-quedinglianaiguanxi-jinrulianaimohe-quedinghunyin。

 danzaiwojiechudehenduogeanzhong，dajiadejiaowangfangshiqueshixiangshi-jiaopengyou-quedinglianaiguanxi-jinrulianaimohe-jianlizhangqichengnuo。

 zaizheigeshunxuzhongjianlizhangqichengnuowangwangshibeidongde，guniangmenweilerangzheigezhangqichengnuodedaoluoshijiuyizaiyinren，zuizhongyiweifuchu。

二、建立舒适的相处模式

meigerendeyuanshengjiatinghechengzhanghuanjinggeyoubutong，zheijiudaozhiwomenmeigerenzaiqinmiguanxizhongdexiangchumoshishibutongde。

dangwomengangkaishijinrurelianqi，yinweibicizhijiandeaihaihentianmi，suoyihulvelexiangchumoshizhongdechayi。

 yidanjinrudaomoheqi，xiangchumoshidechayibianhuizhujianxianxian，zheigeshihouruhechulihaoliangrendexiangchumoshijiushiqinglvlianggerensuomianlindeyidatiaozhan。

xiangchumoshidejianlishouxianjiyugoutongmoshi。

 lianggerenkeyishishidebiaodazijineixindezhenshixiangfa，jianliqizugoudexinrendu，neimeyixieshenghuoxiguandemohejiurongyijiejuele。

三、建立自己家族的边界

henduojiehunconglaibushilianggerendeshi，ershilianggejiatingdeshi。

dangqinmiguanxizhongyifangzuoleyixiecuowujueding，yebingfeiwanquanlaiziyugeren，haiyoulaiziyuduijiazubianjiedequeshi。

 birunanshengxiwangzijidenenglihuijijiaren。dangtaquleyigedangjiaoshidelaopo，tahuirangzijijiazulimiandehaizidoulaizhaolaopofudao，rangzijijiatingdebianjiesangshi。

 huoshizijiheqizishiyeyoucheng，jiukaishizhangluobaqinqideshidangchengzijideshirangzijidexiaojiatingmangliubukan，jibianqiziyiweideweiquqiuquan，yebingbunengshizheigejiatingbiandegengjiaxingfu。

四、拥有适合自己的冲突解决模型

zaiqinmidebanlvyehuiyounaomaodundeshihou，zheishibukebimiande。guanjianshiruhequjiejuezheixiemaodun。

如果一味的批评，指责和抱怨，只能使矛盾加剧，所以我们要建立一个安全的可解决方案。