冷爱：情侣之间要如何建立信任的模型

 zaiyiduanguanxili，xinrenjiushishui，shizuijibendetiaojian。yiduimeiyouxinrendebanlvjiuxiangshiliangzhizaishamolideyu，shihuobuxiaqude。neimeqinglvzhijianyaoruhejianlixinrendemoxingni?kankan lengai laoshizenmeshuo：

信任它有一个公式。

 “xinren”——axinrenb，qishijiushiapandingbhuiweihuadeliyi。ji，woxinrenni，yinwei，wopandingniweihulewodeliyi。suoyi，xinrenlimianyoulianggeyuansu，diyigeshiweihu，diergeshipanding。

一、维护

weihushijiduifangtaxiangyao，zheigecaijiaoweihu。

 youhenduonvshengxihuanshuoyijuhua：wozhendeshiweilenihao。niyaozhidao，dangnishuozheijuhuadeshihou，nijiushitamuqin，buzaishitadenvrenle。wentishitayijingyouyigemuqin，zheigeweizhiyijingmanle，buxuyaozaizhaoyigele。nidoubuzhidaoyigenanrenduiyuduoyigemayouduojuewang。

 cengjingyouyigehecigongzhendeyanjiu，jiangzhongguonanrenyumeiguonanrenzuoduibi，fenbiejitamenzuolehecigongzhen，guanchatamendenaobudejihuodequyu，chakantamendequbie。jieguofaxian，daduoshuzhongguonanrenxiangdaoqizidejihuoquyuyuxiangdaomuqindejihuoquyushiyizhide，danmeiguodenanrenxiangdaoqiziyumuqindejihuoquyushiwanquanfenkaide。zheigejieguoqishihenyouqu，suoyi，womenzhongguohenduonanren，zhaoqizijiushizhaomuqindeguocheng。

 tongguozheigekexueshiyan，woqusikaolezheijianshiqingdeyuantou：womendewenhuashimeiyoubianjie，womendewenhuazhong，renyurenzhijianshinizhongyouwo，wozhongyounideguanxi，suoyi，shiqizhongyouma，mazhongyouqideguanxi。（ ）

lengai：qinglvzhijianyaoruhejianlixinrendemoxing？

 womenrenzhenqusikaoyixia，womenhuifaxianxiandaihuozhedangdaideshehuiduiyuyigenvrentichulegenggaodeyaoqiu，yinwei，tabunengjinjindangmuqin，haidechengdanlingyigejiaose，tadedangqizihuozhedangnvpengyou，zheishiyigenanrenduitadeshuangzhongyuqi。

 zuijin20nianzhongguodenvxingqishihuodelehendadediweishangdebianqian，yinweihulianwangyijiyidonghulianwangdelangchao，shideyigenvxingcongshigongzuodeshihou，tadeshourugennanxingjihuxiangdang，xiangwomengongsinvxingshouruhaibinanxinggenggaoyidian。qishizaizheigeshihou，dajiaduinvxingyouyoulingwaiyigebutongdeyuqi。

 suoyi，zheishi，womenyouqiyaozhuyiyigedian，jiushiwomenyaojiduifangtaxiangyaode。wozhidaozheihennan，yinweinixiguanledangmuqindejiaose，danbanlvbushizheiyang，banlvshijitataxiangyao，zheishiyigejudadezhuanbian。

youyitianwozaigongsitanlunyinshi，yougenvshengchulaijiaoyuwo：nizaibuchifanduishentibuhao。

ranhouwojiuhuidata：nijiaoyuwo，duinibuhao。

 woxiangxintayinggaihenshengqihuohenbushuang，yinwei，tajuedetashiaiwo，suoyi，tazaitixingwodeyinshi，danwoyouyigezhidinghaodejiankangyinshijihua。zheijianshiqingdehanyijiushi，dangwomenxiangyaoguanxinyigerendeshihou，womenyaoyitaxiangyaodefangshiquguanxinta。

 weihuliyishijiduifangtaxiangyaode，ruguoniyaozuoyigeduifangyiliaozhiwaidexingdong，yaoquedingzheigexingdongzaiqinglizhizhong。zheiqishihennanzuodao，suoyi，laolaoshishiwenduifang“niyaoshenme?”ranhou，jitaxiangyaojiukeyile。

biru，wodexiaozhushou，qianyiduanshijianshiwodeshengri，wojiuwenwodexiaozhushou，woshuo：nishibushidingleyigedangao?

她说：这你都知道?

 dingdangaoshiyijianhenchangjiandeshiqing，tamenxianranzhidaowoguoshengri，wokeyiyuliaodao，danwoshuo：buyaozaiyougengduodehuodongle。suoyi，dangtianwofaleyitiaoweibo：woxiaoshihouguoshengri，woxihuanjingxi，zhangdalewozhiyouyigeyuanwang，buyaojinghe。

dangaobushijinghe，dangaoshiyiliaozhizhongde。

juedabufenrengaobuqingchushenmejiaojingxi，wosongjidajiayigewofamingdedingyi：jingxijiushiyiliaozhiwai，qinglizhizhong。

 youxierenjiujingchangnongdehenganga，suoyi，dangnihaimeiyouquedingzhidaotadeqinglizhizhong，yiliaozhiwaidedongxishishenmedeshihou，buyaosuibianjitajingxi，yinweihenrongyihedaoduifang。

 2013nian，woguoshengrideshihou，wanshangkaileyigejudadeparty，wobuzhidaolailejibairenhaishishangqianren，liwu，duimanlewodegongzuoshi，neishiworenshengdangzhongzuihouyicishengriparty，yinwei，congneitianzhihouwozaiyebuxiangyaobanshengripale。suoyi，henyoukenengzaixiangxiangdangzhong，nijuedeneishihenkuailedeshiqing，danqishibingbushi，duifanghuishoudaohendadejinghe。

henduorendouzuobudaozheiyidian，erqiechangchangzaizuishangshuo，“wodoushiweilenihao。”jileduifangtabuxiangyaode。

 wozaiweiboshangshuoguo:wodoushiweilenihao，dengyuniyaotingwodehua。suoyi，xiacibierenduinishuo，“wodoushiweilenihao”deshihou，nijiugaosuduifangshuo：niqishishixiangwotingnidehua。

niyaoshijuedezheijuhuananyishuochukou，nijiukeyizhijieduitashuo：buyongduiwotaihao，nihao，wohao，dajiahao。

weihuyigerendeliyishuoqilaijiandan，zuoqilaitainanle，youqishizaiqinmiguanxizhizhong。

 yinweiwangwangduifangxiangyaode，shinibuxiangde，taxiangyaozijiyigerendaiyihuier，nixiangyaoyutadaizaiyiqi，youhuozhenixiangyaotashuodianshenme，tabuxiangshuo。suoyi，weihubierendeliyishihennande，shiyiweizheniyaobatadeliyiyouxianyunideliyi。

二、判定

 pandingjizhichulewenti，nizuozaiduodoushicuo。youkenengnizuoletazhendexiangyaozuodeshi，taqueyiranhaishibuxiangxin。biru，nihuifaxianyouhenduozhenxiangyaoxiufuguanxiderendouyudaotongyigewenti：jiushiduifangbuxiangxinni。zheishidewenti。

 yinwei，dangtabuxiangxinnideshihou，nizuoderenhexingweizaitakanlai，doushicuode。nishenzhizhishiweilerangtahuijianengchidiandongxi，yushinizuoleyizhuozicai，taquejuedeyalihenda。

 yexu，benlaizheishitaxiangyao，danshitapandingweiniyoushiyaozhaota，nixiangdedaogengduo。suoyi，pandingjizhichulewenti，nizuozaiduodoushicuo。xiufuxinrendeshihouxiufudeshipandingjizhi，erbushiniyaoquzuoduoshaoshi。

 youshi，niweiduifangzuolehenduo，bingqiequedingzheishitaxiangyaode，danduifangyiranbuxinrenni，shiyinweiniyijingzaitaxinzhongdeheimingdanlile，nizuodesuoyoudoushicuode。dangtapandingnibenlaijiushizheiyangdeshihou，nizuochudesuoyouchangshidoushicuo，tangzheshicuo，huxidoushicuo。yinweipandingjizhichulewenti。

yidingyourenxiangwen，ruhexiufuzheigepandingjizhi?daanhenjiandan，wufaxiufu。

 yinwei，zaizheigeshihouzuodeyueduocuodeyueduo，zheigeshihouqishibixurangtayougedulisikaodekongjian，nixuyaorangtazijiqulengjingxialai，rangtazijiqusikao。erdangtalikaizheigeguanxihuolikaizheigehuanjingdeshihou，faneryouyitiantahuijuedenizheigerenqishihaibucuo。

 yinweidangtalikaizheigekongjian，likaizheigeshijian，likaizheiduanguanxizhihou，yexuyouyitiantahuihuranjuede，qishidangchunizuodeyiqiezhendeshiweiletahao……（ ）

总而言之，情侣亲密关系中要如何建立信任的模型? 有2层含义。

diyicenghanyishinizuodeshiqinghuojiyutadedongxi，shitaxiangyao，nishizhendezaiweihutadeliyi。

diercenghanyishiduifangpandingjizhishizhengchangde，tapandingdeguochengshigongpingde。

zaizheigeguochengdangzhong，pandinggenweihujiazaiyiqideshihou，jiuxingchenglezhenzhengdexinren。

yigexinrenjizhidejianlishi，apandingbhuiweihuadeliyi，jiwopandingnihuiweihuwodeliyi。

 yiduanguanxiruguoxinrenchulewenti，guigendaodidoushiyinweishuangfangyijinggenjuduifangdebiaoxianpandingguole，duifangbuhuiweihuzijideliyi，yincibuxinrenduifang。

 xinrenzheidongxijiuxiangshizaishatanshangjianchengbaoyiyang，jishachengtajiqijiannan，xuyaohenmanzhangdeshijian，danshicuihuitaquezhixuyaoyigelangchaoeryi。