导师精选：为什么男人总是用“我累了”结束一段关系

 “zhizizhishou，yuzixielao。”zheishiwomenconggurenxuedaodeaiqingmoyang。manmandi，“peibanshizuizhangqingdegaobai”chenglewomensuoxiwangdeaiqingmoyang。

 meidangwomenkandaomalushangshouqianshoudenianmailaofuqi，gongyuanliyiqitiaoguangchangwudelaofufu，xiaoquhubianzhangyishangxianghuyiweidelianggeshenying，womendouhuixinshengxianmuhegankai。jibianciketamenderongmaobuzai、toufahuabai，womenyijiujuedeneishiduomemeihaodehuamian。

keshi，hunyinzuichudemoyang，budoushizheiyangdeme？

shenghuozhong，woruhequguibiyibuburangziji、rangduifangzoudao“woleile”dexuanyabianshangni？

jiexialai，wojiandanjujigezixunzhongdedianxinganli，laiguibizheixiewenti。

01

避免让付出与索取的天平失衡

 anli1：xunvshifuqienai，yulaogongbaishouqijia。shengyishangleguidaohou，xunvshihuiguijiating，jiatingzhufushenghuorangxunvshijuedeshenghuohenfawei，taxiwangnenghuiguigongsi，zijidenengliyougenbushangle。

 yushi，taxiwangzijidezhangfunengduopeibanpeibanzijihehaizi，danzhangfumangyugongzuo，jiatingdeshenghuotiaojianyuelaiyuehao，danliangrenxiangchushijianyuelaiyueshao。

 suoyi，xunvshihuijizhangfushezhihenduoyaoqiu，piru：wanshangbixu12dianqianhuijia、zhoumobixupeijiaren。zheixieyaoqiukansibingbuguofen，danxunvshizailaogongyiyoukongxiandeshihoujiurangduifangpeizijiyiqiquzuozijixiangzuodeshiqing，piru：guangjie、guimijuhuideng。

 dangzhangfubiaoluchuyisijuandai，xunvshijiuhuizhizeduifang：“nihentongkuma？henbuqingyuanma？buxihuanjiubuyaodayingwoya……”“nipingshineimemang，juranbupeiwoqu……，niyanlihaiyoumeiyouwozheilaopo，niquhegongzuozaiyiqiba”dengdeng，zhurucileideshijiancengchubuqiong。

xunvshizongjuedezijiweijiatingfuchuhenduo，zijizuoshenmedoushiduide，jianjiandi，tadezhangfuzhendeleile。

tongguozheigeanli，womenkeyikandao，zaiyiduanguanxizhong，fuchuhesuoqushixianghude，yeshixuyaodadaopinghengde。

 xunvshiweijiatingfuchu，dedaolezhangfudehuodedecaifu，tongshiyexiwangdedaozhangfudepeibanheguanai。erzhangfuweilejiatingfendou，gengduoxiangyaohuodejiatingdexingfuganhebanlvderentong。

 dangyigerenzhikaolvziji，budongdehuanweisikaoduifangdexuqiu，yimeideyizijidefuchuweiyou，buduandeyizijidexuqiuweizhu，erxiangduifangsuoqu。dangzheitianpingfashengqingxie，zheiduanguanxijiukaishibupinghengle，wentijiuhuijiezhongerzhi。womenxuyaoquhuanweisikao，xuyaoqubawoguanxidepingheng。

02

尊重两个独立的灵魂

 anli2：zhangxianshengshiyigebuxihuanshejiaoderen，tongshi，yeyaoqiuzijidebanlvbunengyoutaiduoshejiaohuodong，xiwangzijidetaitaihuozaizijidequanzilimian。

 liangrenyikaoshouzuguorizi，shejiaoquanyezhujianbianzhai，taitaikandaozijideguimigongzuojishenghuozhuangtaidouhenhao，yexiwangnengyouzijideshenghuo，zijinaixinyekewang，yushizhaolefengongzuo。

gongzuoshangyutongshilaiwangbijiaoduo，zuihouzhangxianshenghuaiyizijidetaitaixingweibuzhong，jingchangnaomaodun，zuihouliangrenfenkaile。

hunyindejieheshilianggeshengmingtidejiehe，meigerendouyouzijidejiazhizhuiqiu。

 yikaishi，renmenkenengyinweiaiqing，zaiailimishileziji，dangyoutiantamenyishidaole，zhudinghaishihuijuexing，zhaohuiziwo。erdangyigerenbuyuanchengzhang，womenmeibanfayaoqiuduifangbunengchengzhang。

jibianbunengbaochibudiaoyizhi，womenkeyizuodaodeshizunzhongduifangdechengzhang，huozhexuanzeheduifangyiqichengzhang。

03

自控力与有效沟通

anli3：danglaifangzhezhaodaowomendeshihou，womenhuiwendaozaihunyinzhongyudaomaodundeshihou，tamenhuizenmechulini？

womenhenrongyikongzhibuzhuzijideqingxujiuchaoqilaile，maduifangnalizuodebudui，rangduifangjigeshuofa，rangduifangdaoqian……

wobuxiangshuo，tabuxiangshuo，jiuzheiyangjiangzhe，jiukansheixianditou。

 womenhuixuanzegoutong，yidingyaobawentishuokai，buliugeyechou，danyoushiyehuiliaozheliaozhejiubayiqianxiangtongdeshiqingnachulaishuo……

 womenkeyikandaolengbaolihegoutongmoshi，douhuiyingxiangdaofuqiguanxi，jianjiandi，ganqingjiubeixiaomoguangle，biciyebuzaigoutong，wentixianggunxueqiuyiyangyuegunyueda。

zheizhongxiangchumoshiyegengxiangexingxunhuan，zuihoubianchenglianggejiyuanyijiudeyuanou。

 erhenduoshihou，genyuanshiwomenmeiyouzuohaoqingxuguanli，yequefalianghaodegoutongfangshi。goutongguochengdangzhongrongyibeiqingxuqianzhezou，bianchenglexuanxieqingxule。

 suoyi，dangwomenyudaowentideshihou，keyixianlengchuliwenti，pirushuo“womenxianzaidouyouqingxu，womenxianlengjingyixia，daihuizailiao。”jiezhequxuanxiezijideqingxu，pirupaobu、dashenggechang、mingxiangdeng。

 zaizheigeguochengdangzhongzhaodaozijiweishenmeyouzhongqingxu，zheizhongqingxudaibiaodeshizijideshenmesuqiu。zijinongmingbaihouzaihelingyibanqugoutong，goutongguochengzhongyaojinliangzuodaojiushilunshi，hepingdejiejuewenti。

weiainuli，womenzhideyongyouxianzaiaiqingzuimeidemoyang。

文| 咨询师·李泽如