情感咨询：原生家庭，和母亲的关系不好怎么办

 youqingganzixundao：“yuanshengjiating，hemuqindeguanxibuhaozenmeban？”yuanshengjiatingjiyigehaizideyingxiangshinanyiyongyanyuxingrongde，huazhenqingganzaibenwenfenxiangyigeqinggananli。

一、情感咨询

wen：woshiliyijiating，genmuqindeguanxini，yizhibushihenhao。

 womamatayoudianbaoli，baokuoyuyanhezhitibaoli。ranhouwogentashiwufagoutongde，zaiwoershiduosuideshihou，tahaidawo，birushuoyizhuorenchifandeshihou，tajuedewoyijuhuashuodebudui，jiuhuilimanakuaizidiuwo，diuzailianshangneizhong。

 xianzaiguanxishaoweihuanhe，yinweitatuixiule，ranhouwogongzuoshourugefangmianyehaibijiaokeyi，yinweiwohaimeiyoujiehun，yeshigentazhuzaiyiqi，guanxishaoweihuanheyidian。

danshiwojuedewoxinlideneizhongchuangshangshiwufamomiede，woyebuzhidaozenmequjiejuezheigewenti。

二、情感解答

da：zheishiyigegenmuqinzhijiandebaoliwenti。

nimeiyouyishidao，qishiniyijingkeyibaohuzijile。

 jiuxiangqingwabeizhuangzaiyigebolipingli，kaishitatiaoatiao，tiaobuchulai，ranhoutayiweizijimeiyounenglitiaochulaile。yushidengnizaibapingzinazou，tayebutiaole。

xiangzheizhongyinweizhongfudeshibaihuochengfaerzaochengdetingrenbaibudexingwei，womenchengzhiwei「xidexingwuzhu」。

 dangwomenzhangqichuzaiyigebaolihuanjinglimianshi，womenhenrongyihuodezheizhongxidexingwuzhu。yinweiwomencengjingshitufankangguo，danfaxianfankangmeiyouyong，suoyijiuhenwuzhu。

neiyinggaizenmedapozheizhongxidexingwuzhu？

zaitaxiayicishitushiyongbaolideshihou，likezhizhita。

zhizhibaolidefangfajiushizheiyang，nixuyaomingquedegaosuduifang，congjintiankaishi，huizhizhizheizhongbaolixingwei。

dangran，zhizhibaolidebanfajueduibushiyibaozhibao，yinweiruguoyibaozhibao，niyebianchenglebaoliwenhuadechuanbozhe。

nizhiyaogaosuta：congjintianqi，nibunengzaizheiyangshanghaiwo。

dapoxidexingwuzhudebanfa，shizhanshinideliliang，zheishihenzhongyaodeyigedian。

dangyouyitian，tayishidaonigentaxiangxiangzhongbuyiyangdeshihou，tajiuhuitingzhishiyongguoquduidainidesuoyoucelve。

 dangnidemamayiweitabinigenglihai，taliliangbinigengda，huoyiweinigentachabuduoyigecengcideshihou，tahuishituguanni，shituyongbaoliduidaini。

danruguoyouyitian，tafaxiannideliliangchaoyueletadeshihou，tahuizunzhongni。

renleidezunzhonglaiyuanfenliangzhong：

diyizhong，jueduidechongbai；

dierzhong，jueduidekongju。

zheidoushiyouliliangdebianhuadailaide。

suoyi，congzheigeweidushanglaijiang，nizenyangquhuodemuqindezunzhong？

jiushirangtazhidao：nigenyiqianbuyiyang，nibianchengyigegengyouliliangderen，zheishifeichangzhongyaode。

dierdian，yaozhizhibaoli，yidingyaoxuehuibiaodaganshou。

nishuonimamazainiershiduosuideshihou，shaoyoubuduihaihuizaigongzhongchanghenakuaizirengni。

nijuedehentongku，neinikeyishizhejiangnidezheizhongganshoushizhegentabiaoda：

“mamanizheiyangzuo，wohenshangxin。”

“dangnibakuaizirengxiangwodeshihou，woganjuehennanguo。”

niyaobazijichenjixialaidezheizhongqingxugaosuta。

zuihou，woxiangsongjidajiayiduanhua：

renshengzhenzhengdehejielaiziyujieshou。

 ruguoxianggenzijidemuqinhejie，jiuyaojieshoutajiushizheiyangyigeren，tayoutadejuxianxing，tayoutabunengchaoyuededifang，tayeshiren，tayeshigenwomenyiyangderen，yeshiyigeputongren，tayemeixianghaozenmedangma，zheibeizitayediyicidangma，tazuomuqindejingyanyebushihenchongfen。

kenengtazijiqingxushikongdeshihou，tayebuzhidaogaizenmeban，tabiwomenxiangxiangderuoxiaohenduo。

 shenzhimuqiankenengmeineimeqiangda，zhishiyinweiwomenxiguanyongyizhonghaizigenmuqindeguanxiqukandaoyigechengnianren，caixiguanxingjuedetahen“qiangda”。

其实你可以反过来想：等你有一天当了母亲，你是不是也是很强大的？显然不是。可能我们在摇篮里看向她的眼神，觉得她很强大，等长大以后，也许换个视角来看，她也很弱小。