为了成全你要的丁克，我却抱憾终生

 qingtu：“pugongdingke”，nv，42sui，tianjinshimougongsiyuangong。benxingxiaixiaohai，yinweiaierguanzhe，yinweiaierwanmeichengxian，zongsuandengniletaoyanxiaohaidelaogongfuqindeaijuexing，shubuzhi，taqueyicuoguoshengyunjijie。 shenmeyangdenvrenrongyichugui ?nvrenchuguibuchengrendebiaoxianyounaxie?

聆听：树木

 yutaxiangyushizai“dingkeba”。neijiushi1gedingkezuhuanjudediqu，woyiyuanlaiyuanqudezhenshishenfen“jingguo”shi，jiandaotazaijiaozaodiqiuzhu。youyutameifashengyun，hunyinyizoulaidaobenkuidebianyan。

 dangchuwoduizilinyijianqingxin，danlianleta1nian，zongsuandengniletayuzaoyixiangqinjiehundenvpengyoutichufenshou。womenxiangaile，dengniwoliangdexingmingyimeifafenlishi。tacaizaisandigenwoshuo，hunhoubuxiangshenghaizi，tadangshijiushishuoyouyushiqingheqianrennvyoufendeshou

 laopochuguizenmeban?womeitaidangyihuishi，bingqiehaixingyuntaqianrennvyoudesha，wanmeichengxianlewodeaiqing。woxiangyao，yaoshinenghezilinmeitianshanmenghaishijiuyichongzule，sheihaihuixiangqihuaihaizi!bawotadehuadangduanzishuojimamating，mamashuo，guobushang2nian，nikeyizhenbuyuanshengxiaohai，tahaowuyiwenbiniyaoji。

 xiangxiangyeshi，shenpangkandaodeduoshinvxingbuxiangyaoshengxiaohai，haizhencongweijianguoshiduoshaobuxiangyaohuaihaizidenansheng。 zilintiaoxuandingkeyishizhuxing，tingdashuipingshangshizaoshouletaqinjiejiedecijixing——tajiejiedeerzizai3suishifajueshenhuanertongzibizheng，cihougaibianleguangqinjiejiederenshengdaolu，liangnianchulai，qianhexinlihaojin，gongzuozhongyediule，keyemeiyouyong。taqinjiejiehejiefuquanbudelixianghua，jiushishuoyouyiridaerzihuiyuzheishijiegoutongjiaoliu，kanjiuleqinjiejiehejiefudeshiluohewunai，zilinduizuobabatianmanhaipa。

 neishihouwojiushichunzhenna，woxiangyaobushenxinjiankangdexiaohaizhongjiushijishaoshu，suizhinianjidetigao，tadexintaizhuangtaibidinghuigenggaide。zhihouwojiulejie，tadoushihuaizheyiyangdeniantouyuwowanhunde。womenjianxinsuiyue，douxiangxinaikeranglingyifangzaishengbuxiangshenghaizidenantishangrangbu。

 “zanmenjiehunqiandanshidayingledingkede。”zhihoumeiyiciweishiqingzhengzhishi，zilindounazheijuhuayewohaoxiangwodangshitongyitadingke，jiushishuoyibianpiantawanhun。

 wanhundetou5nian，yinweiwoledexiangyouliangrenshijie。qitafuqihongwadeneishihou，womenliangdujialvyou、guangjiegouwu、tingge;qitafuqiweihaizijiaoyu、chengcaiercaolaoshi，womenliangqueyouranzide，meiyouyidianerjingshenshizhihejingjifazhanshangdegongzuoyali。zheiqinei，wocengjingyouguoyihuiweihunhuaiyun，woyuanbenyewusuoweileneimezaoyihuaihaizi，yinci，zilinyaowoquzuoxiaochan，wojibenshangmeiyouchiyijiutongyi。

 yuanyigexiaohaidexiangfa，zaiwo33suiyihouyulaiyumingxian。neishihou，zilin36sui，renmenyiyiguo8niandedingkeyishizhuxing，liangshijiandereqingjianjiandibianqian。tayizhiyouneimaduojiaoji，woyelixiabanlefanhuijia，duziyirendaizaikuankuodefangjianneiyouyizhongshuobuchulaideqingleng。

yanjianxiaohuobanmendexiaohaidoukuaishangzhongxiaoxuele，woduizilinshuo，renmenhuanshisheng1geba。xiangbudaotahuanshijianjuefandui。

 (“ganjuetazisizili，fangfojiushiyinageneishihougangkaishide。”“pugongdingke”deshenqingjian，yixierenshudewukenaihe。)

 renmensheiyeshuodongbushanglingyifang。wotaizhegonggongpopolaiquanta，dangonggongpopozaixinjibaoxiaosunzi，yenatameiyoufangfa。wojiangyinweiwohendale，zaituoxialaiwonengcuoguolezuijiashengyunianlingde。

 zaizheiyinantishang，renmenzhongjiuyedabulexiangtong。yankanzishenhaiyao35suile，woxiandongshoujiao。woxiangzhe，denghuaiyunle，niyaozhennenggenwosiyingjiujing?

 wozongsuanhuaileyun，babamamagonggongpopodouweiwokaixin，danlelinhuanshigulibawoxiaohaizuodiao。tabuyanqifandichangshiyaowojiena，bubixiaohaisuanshizheizhongduizishenduishehuifazhangengweichengdandexintai。

neiyangdehua，wozaoyitingfanle，tingexinxiangtule。

 laopochuguizenmeban?wojiang，nijiujingbushixiangyaozaoshoujushuhelianlei，huanshipaweilailiyibubian?niqueshitaoyanxiaohai，zhidangtashiduziyigerendeshihaola，zhihouwoyuxiaohaiwuxuniguan!

 shubuzhi，tazhenyuwojiaohenhuanle。taxiabanleyihou，meitianpaodaowaibianhedelanzuirunicaihuijia，zaijiazhongyitiaoyitiaodixiyan。

wohenzhirugule，wojiang，nihuanshirenma?womanhuainidexiaohaini，nizennengneimeduiwomen!

 (“nicaitazenmejiang?tashuo，xiaohaijiushinifeidehuaide。guanwoshashi?niyaoyongneiyangdiliedefangshibiwojiufan，zuomengbani!”“pugongdingke”fenfenran。)

 wogangkaishicaiji，taneimeguoduandidingke，daodishibuxiangshenghaizi，huanshixiangzairenmenganqingchuxianwentideneishihoumeiyougulvdiliqu?bujinjinwo，wobawomamadoujuedetashijuxinpoce。

 (“zheijiushiwozaiduquzuoliuchandeyuanyin。”shuodaozheier。“pugongdingke”jianmolehaoyiduanshijian。tanleyixiazi，xiangshengdiya。“neishihouwoyebuzhidao，tashilaotianyeshangciwodezuihouxiaohai。”)

 quxiaochanneiyitian，yemeiyougentawenhao，duziyirenzuozheyiyuanmenzhendeguodaoli，wohenshangxinhaozhangshijian。woxiangyaoyouyiri，tahuihouhuimojide，suihou，renmenjianghuihuiguodebukaixin。keshi，jiaruxiyinzheiyixiaohai，tarujinjiubukaixin，bingqiehuiguaizijiyisheng，neima，woyuxiaohaiyehuibukaixin。yinweiwoxiangguo，jianghuixiaohaichanxiahou，tajiugenggaileni。keshi，wozhiyounazishendexingfukuailequdu，meiyouzhipeiquannaxiaohaidexingfukuailequdu。

 neiwan，tahuijialeshiyeshishengengbanye，wokuzhebaxianlibenshuaizaitadelianbu。wojiang，zheiyixianikaixinleba?wodengnihouhuimojideneitian，wodengniqiuworangnishengxiaohaideneitian!

 (“kaiqibinglibenhou，taxianzhulengleyixiaxia。xiaobiaoqingfanza，buzhidaowoshifoukancuo。zaitabaojinwodeneiyike。tadeyanzhongfangfoyouleishuifuxian。”“pugongdingke”dingzhubeilidelvcha，haoxiangxiangyueguoshiguangdefuchen。kanchuanlaogongneiyitiandexinli。)

 suizhishijiandewailiu，nianjidetigao，wozuomamadejiyuyuelaiyuedile。zaijiazhong，renmenbingbushixiangduiwuyan，jiushishuozhengzhi。woxiangyaoqingxile，dengniwo40suishi，tajiaruhaibujijimingquetichushengxiaohai，wobixubitaqujiezhashoushu，duanjueweilaiwobunenghuaiyunerzaochengdejiazhongweiji。

 laopochuguizenmeban?jieguohaimeiyoudengniwo40sui，tajiugenggaixiangfale，tashuo，yijin40ruhejuedezishenturanzhijianbiannianjidale，xuduoniantouhezhiqianyongyoufantianfudidegenggai，lirupashengbing，kongjusiwang，panianjidalemeiyourenfushile。wotingdechutahuazhongdeyanwaizhiyi，danyemeiyoulita。

zongsuan，zaiheguo1gepengyouxiaohaidemanyueyanhou，tajijiduiwomenshuo，xifu，renmenyao1gexiaohaiba。

woyuanyiweirenmenxunsujiuhuizuobabamamale，shubuzhibannianguoqu，wohuanshimeihuaiyun。

 zilinpeizhewoququyiyuan，woqianxinwankupanlezheixienian，zongsuanpanlailaogonggenggaileqingyi，shentijiankangquechulenanti，yinweixiaochan，wodeshumaoguanzusai。

 gangkaishiyizhi。tongchuyaoyaowuqideyizhi，yaowoganjuezishenzhuijinlezheitiaozhongjiuzoubushangzuishenchudesuidaoshigong。zuoleshuluanguanzaitongshoushuzhiliao6gexianyuehouwohuanshibunengshengxiaohai，dafuyoutiyishengzhangjisuyizhi。

 zhihourenmenjuecezuoshiguanshoushuzhiliao。zhizhidi8cizigongqiangshoujingbuchenggong，zilinaosangdishuo：“xifu，wobixushizaoletianqianle，woduibuqini。”huijialushang，renmenlijing1gejinglaoyuan，zilinshuo，renmenzhihoujiuzhuzheiliba，jianjushineiyouyongguan、juyuanjiaoweijin，ziranhuanjingfeichanghao，zhihourenmenjiuzheilibulibuqi，wonenghaohaodipeichangni，zhaoliaonide。

 nvrenchuguibuchengrendebiaoxianyounaxie?yiqianneimayoumeilidezilin，quanburendouyixietale。wojinjinwozhetadeshou，leishuijinbuzhudiliu。wojiang，zhiqianguaini，rujinguaiziji，renmenchepingle。

manman，renmenbianchengzuiwukenaihededingke。

 woshizhongtishizishenbubimaiyuanzilin，tayikuijiu，huiqinglechangdao。danshimeitian，huanshishiniwozhijianyinzangxujiudeweimanbaofachuqu。wojiangyaoshinidangshifeidedingke，weishenmehuiyoujinri。tayechengshoubuqile，tashuo，bielaotizhiqian，bielaoganjuewoqiannide，rujinjiushinishengbushangxiaohai……

wohaotaodaku，wojiang，yinweinizaozhongwanhuineimeshuode，neiwomenlihunba，wowanmeichengxianni，nizhaoqitanvrenshengxiaohaiqu!

 zheiquanshijie，meiyoubikuijiugengduanzanxingdewupin、xianrujin，liangonggongpopodouganjuewobaoqiantamenjia，yulindeqinjiejienaizhizhiyanbuhuishuowoduantazhizizuobabadezhipeiquan。womamachoumeibuzhandishuo，zilinruguoshizhongdingkexialaijiuhaola，zuishaohewotaqinrenhaihuiduinikuijiu，tazheizhonggenggaixiangfa，guocuofangdaochengnini。

 dangwojiandaotarenyunqi，woxinrutongdaojiaoyiyang……qianbujiuwomanzhezilinyoukanyishengzuoyizhi，talejiehoushuo，biezaixiazhetengzishenle，yebiezaixiazhetengqianle，youmuyouxiaohaiwoqueshibuzaihu。

 wojuedetashizaiyide，nizhidaoma。tarujinkandaobierendexiaopengyou，henbunengbaoyibao。youyiriguangshangchangshi，tahuranduiwomenshuo，baojiyifukuzizhentaorenxihuan。wowangyiwang，shizheijianliankuyingerzhuang。juechachuwodebukaixin，tagankuaiqianyilehuatitaolun。

 tarujinjingchangchizewo，shuowotaoqianhuaqianruliushui，shuoyemeiyouluojixing……meiyicizhengzhi，wohaiwennishifouduiwomenbunengshengxiaohaierfannao，meiyicitadoushikoufouren，shuowoxinfanyiluan。

 nvrenchuguibuchengrendebiaoxianyounaxie?wojiang：rutongnizhiqianjianchibuxiedingkeshiquanwode，xiaohaibingbushiyishizhuxingdesuoyou。jiranshangtiancirangwomenneiyangdeyishizhuxing，neirenmenjiusuiyueran，zuoliangzhikaixindedingkefuqiba。tatingdaojiufanle，shuowoyoufanlaozhang。

womingquetichunenggoubaoyang1gexiaohai，tashuo，jiarubukeyiyouzishendexiaohai，taningkemanmanle。

 (“tabingbushiningkeneiyangde，tashiqidaiwozhiqudiliqu。haowanmeichengxiantazuobabadexiwang。”“pugongdingke”qinfenbuxuyanleiluoxialai，“tashuoaiwo。jihujiumeiyouwoaitaduo。yinciwokeyiguanzheta，taduiwomenquebukeyi。”)

 shenghuoqijuzhongneiyangdeyidianyidiguanjiandian，queshishidundaokanren，woyuelaiyuexinfan、tongku、buzixin、xueshou。taxiabanlehuijiawanle，woyejinbuzhucaijitashifouyongyouhunhouchugui，tamawoshenjingzhi。huoxuba，qitanvrenshenghaizishangmenlaibiworangzuo，neijiushizaozhongwandeshi。

 worenweitaxinlishifenqidaiwolaimingquetichuliyi，neiyangtajiutuolikuhaile。youshihouwoxiangyao，lilesuanleba，shengdelianggerenhuxiangbushufu，kezheixieniandeqingganqishishuoxuehuifangxiajiunengfangdexiade。zailiaowozhongjiu42suile，renshengdaoluzuimeideshihoudoujilezheiyinansheng。

 shenmeyangdenvrenrongyichugui?(“rujinwofeichanghouhuimojide，bingbushidangshimishanglezheiyizisidenanren，zhishihouhuimojidangshiyemeiyouliuyougexiaohai，neibanjibianzhihouwoyigerenguo，xiaohaidoushigebanerhejiyu。”“pugongdingke”deyanzhongyizhengpiancangsang。)