爱情幸福秘籍：为什么越付出越不讨好

 zai huazhenqinggan chulidehenduoganqingwentilimian，youyileiganqingwentishishifenchangjiande，jiushiyifangtebieaifuchu，quanshenxinditaohaoduifang，duitahao，lingyifangqueeyanxiangxiang，huozhelengzhan，shenzhichugui。

 womenzaijiedaideshihou，jingchanghuiyudaolaifangzheyilaijiubaoyuanduifangruhelengxueheguofendeqingkuang，womentingdedoutebiexinsuan，nengganshoudaodianhuaneitoudelaifangzheneixintebiedeweiquhenanshou。neijintianwojiujidajiacongjingshenfenxidejiaodujiangjieyixiazheigewenti。

一、爱情幸福秘籍：为什么越付出，对方就越把我们当仇人。

1、对方的边界被侵犯

 congqingchunqishuoqi——yinweiqingchunqishiwomencongxiaohaizhuanbianchengdarendeyigezhongyaofazhanjieduan，womendehenduoxingweidouhuitebietuchu，baokuojintianjiangdaodezheigexianxiang。

 zaizheigeshiqi，womendetigekaishizaicifayu，kaishibiandeqiangzhuang，nvhaizikaishilaiyuejing，nanhaizikaishizuochunmeng，womendesixiangyekaishifashengbianhua，kaishixianglikaifumu，xiangduli，xiangyongyoushuyuzijidekongjian，womenxiangzhengmingwojiushiwo。zheigeshihou，fumuyekaishiganshoudaowomendebianhua，tamenkaishijiaolv，kaishidanxinwomenhuizhanchigaofei，huilikaitamen。

 weilehuanjieneixindejiaolv，fumuhuizaizheigeshihouxiangbanfapohuaiwomendebianjie，zuzhiwomenchengzhang，mudeshiburangwomenhetamenfenli。

 dangran，zheixiedoushitamenqianyishicengmiande，yishicengmianshibuzhidaode。tamenzhihuijuedeshidanxinwomenxuexichengjibuhao，danxinwomenxuehuai，suoyihuisuiyijinruwomendefangjian，shoushiwomendefangjian、fanwomendeshubao、fanwomendechouti，kanwomenderijiben，zheixiexingweicongbenzhishangkandoushizaipohuaiwomendebianjie。

haiyouyixiexingweishipohuaibianjiedexiangzheng，liruganshewomendeaihao、ganshewomentianbaozhiyuan、ganshewomendeshejiaoquandengdeng。

 suirancongyishicengmianzheixiedoushifumuduiwomendeaiheguanxin，dancongqianyishicengmian，womennengjieshoudaofumuqianyishidegongji，suoyitamenyueguanxin，yuecaoxin，womenjiuhuiyuefennu，yinweiwomendebianjiebeiqinfanle。

jiangdezheixieheweishenmeyuefuchu，duifangjiuyuebawomendangchourenyoushenmeguanxini?

有的。

lianaishijieli，xianqiliangmurongyihuanlailaogongdeeyanxiangxiang;wuweibuzhidenanpengyourongyihuanlainvpengyoudexianqi。

 xianqiliangmuhewuweibuzhidenanpengyou，wobatamendouchengwei100fenbanlv，dan100fendebanlvbushizuishufudebanlv，gangganghaodebanlvcaishizuishufude，yinwei100fenjiuyiweizhemeiyoubianjie。

aiqingxingfumiji：weishenmeyuefuchuyuebutaohao？

ruhelijie100fenhegangganghaoni?

举个例子：

 nvpengyoushengbingle，xiangyaoquchimalahuoguo，100fendenanpengyouhuiyanlingjinzhitaquchi，ergangganghaodenanpengyouhuigaosuta，nichihuibingdegenglihaile，zheiyangnihuihennanshouwoyehuixinteng，buguojuedingquanzaini。

suoyizuihoujiusuannvyouquchile，bingdegenglihaikuzhehuilaizhaotadeshihou，tayehuijitayigewuweibuzhidezhaoguheguanxin。

weishenme100fenbanlvhegangganghaobanlvhouzhegengqiadangni?

 yinweinvpengyouxiangzuorenheshiqingdoushishuyutadeshiqing，dang100fennanpengyoujinzhitaquzuodeshihou，xiangdangyugansheletadebianjie;

 ergangganghaodenanpengyouhuizaitazhenzhengyouxuyaodeshihoucaichushou，zheishiduinvpengyoudeyizhongxinren，xiangxintahuixiqujiaoxun，xiangxintayouziwochengzhangdenengli。

 congxintaixue(donglixue)dejiaodujiang，nvpengyoudeshentiyoutazijizuozhu，nanpengyoudeguanxincongbenzhishangdoushizaihuanjiezijineixindejiaolv。

 zheizhongjiaolvkenengshinvpengyoubutingzijihuasuochanshengdecuobaigan，youhuozheshizijixiangxiangzhongneigewanmeinvpengyoudexingxiangbeipohuailedengdeng。

 erqietabunengguaini，yinweizheishitazijidexuanze，zaizheigeguochengzhongtayijingdedaolekoufudexiangshou，erzaijieshouchengfadeshihou，jiunengdedaonijishideguanxinhezhaogu，zheicaishimanzulenvpengyoudezilian。

 yinweidangtaxiangchideshihoujiunengchi，bulundangshiyoumeiyoubing，tadounengxiangyouzijidequanli，erdangtabingzhongdeshihou，xiangyaoguanhuaihewennuan，nanpengyoujiuhuichuxian，zheizhongganjuejiuhaoxiangquanshijiedouyiwoweizhongxin。

 dangyigerendezilianbeichongfenmanzuzhihoujiuhuichengzhang，yuebubeimanzu，jiuhuiyuetingliuzaiquanshijieyiwoweizhongxindejieduan，ranhouhuiyizhixunqiuzheizhongganjuezhidaobeimanzu。

2、依赖多少，就等于自由失去多少。

woxiangkenengyouxierenhaishihuigengxihuan100fendebanlv，zaizheiliwokeyijidajiayixiefankui。

 ● diyi、zaiwomentebiexiangshouduifangweiwomenchengdanlebenshuyuzijizerendetongshi，yeyiweizhewomenshiquletongdengdeziyou，yilaiduoshao，jiudengyuziyoushiquduoshao。

● dier、womenduikongzhiheqiangshidemilian，kenengshilaiyuanyuduifumudezhongcheng。

如何理解呢?

 xiaoshihou，fumuruheduidaiwomende，zhangdazhihou，yehuixiangzhaoyigehefumuduidaifangshileisideren，yinweizheizhongbeiduidaideganjuehuirangwomenhefumuyizhibaochilianjie。

举个例子:

 woshuoputonghuashibubiaozhunde，huidaizhedandandeyueyukouyin，danshishishangyiwofayindenengli，shiwanquankeyibaputonghuashuobiaozhunde，liruwozaichanggehuozhelangsongwenzhangdeshihoujiuwanquanmeiyouyueyudekouyin。

 danwodeqianyishihuijuededaiyixieyueyudekouyinhuiyouguishugan，ganjuezijihejiaxiangbaochilianjie，suoyizaiwoshangdaxuedeshihou，yudaoyixiedaiyouyueyukouyindetongxuehuitebieqinqie。

 ● disan、tebiexiangshou100fenbanlvderen，congrengecengmianshangshibugouduliwanzhengde，dangwomenheduifangbianjiebuqingxideshihou，huihenrongyishanghaiziji，yehenrongyishanghaiduifang，yinweibianjiedexiaoshijiuyiweizhezijixiaoshile，huozheduifangxiaoshi，zheishiyizhongduisiwangdekongju。

 suoyi，weilerangwomennenggouyouyiduanzhangqiwendingdeqinmiguanxi，womenxuyaobuduanwanshanzijiderenge，shiwomenchengweiyigeduliwanzhengdegeti。

lejiele100fenbanlvhegangganghaodebanlvzhihou，woxiangxinnimingbaile：

 bushifuchubudui，yebushiyuebufuchujiuyuehao，ershiyaodongdefenqingchu，bianjiezainali，naxieshizijideshiqing，naxieshiduifangdeshiqing，yiweidetaohaoduifanghenduoshihoubingbunengdedaoxiangduidehuiying。

suoyizongjiejintiandeaiqingxingfumiji，yaojuejiushi：yigehaodebanlv，dongdebuquzuoshenme，biyaodongdezuoshenmegengzhongyao。

本文作者 ：chenzhaowei，guojiasanjixintaizixunshi， ；shanzhangqinmiguanxichuli、chongtuguanli、qingxuguanli。