暧昧阶段，我和他势均力敌

　　doufenshoulenanyouweishenmeduiwoyouzhanyouyu，fenshoulenanyouweihebaoliuzheduiwozhanyouyu？zheishiyigepubiancunzaidexianxiang，henduorenzaijieshuyiduanganqinghourengrannanyishihuai。yexushiyinweibicizhijiandeqingganbianhuabuyun，yifangrengduilingyifangxinhuaiqidai；yexushiyinweifenshouzhihoudewuliganrangtamenqidaibaocunyucongqiandelingyibandelianluo；yexushiyinweishiquzhangkonggan，nanyoumenshituyongzhanyouyuqumibuneixindezaodongbuan。buguanyinsuzenyang，lejiezheizhongxingweiranhouzhaodaoshidudefangshiqujiejueshihenzhongyaode。

　　心理状态的延伸：不愿应对丧失

　　doufenshoulenanyouweishenmeduiwoyouzhanyouyu，fenshouhou，nanyouduinidezhanyouyuyirancunzai，zheizhongqingkuangkenengjiushiyinweiyiduan aiqingdewanbibingbudengyuqinggandexiaoshi。qingganxuyaoshijianlaiyouhuayuxiaochu，youshifenshoujinjinxingshishangwanbi，erneixinshenchudeqingganyirancunzai。nanyouhenyoukenengdouhaimeijienafenshouzheiyishishi，tayexubuganmianduishiqulenideshiji，huoshinanyishiyingmeiyounideshenghuo。

　　情感变化的时间差：不同步的学会放下

　　dajiaduidaiganqingdegaibianhexuehuifangxiadeshijianyeshibuyiyangde。nanyoukenenghaixuyaohenzhangdeshijianqushiyinghelijiefenshou，tahuoxuhaiduinibaoyouhuanxiang，qidaitamennenggouzhongxinzaiyiqi。zheileiqingganbianhuadeshijianchayehuidaozhitaduiniyirancunzaizhanyouyu，tayexuqidaibaocunyiduanlianluohuochixubaochihaodeguanxi，yijianhuanfenkaidequanguocheng。

　　孤独的推动力：期待保存联络

　　fenshouzhihoudeguduganshizuichangjiandetihui，youqishizaijiubiexiangfenghuowufawanghuaibicizhijiandeqingxingxia。nanyouhenyoukenengqidaibaocunhenidelianluo，souxunqinggandejiyuhuoshouhou。zhanyouyuyexushitachangshiweichiduinidezhangkonggan，rangzijijuedebuzaiguduhuowunai。zheizhongqingganxuqiuzaifenshouhoushibijiaochangjiande，danyidingyaomingquejiexian，bimianjilingyifangbuzhengquedeqidai。

　　丧失掌控感的焦虑：试图用占有欲填补

　　fenshouhou，nanyouhenyoukenengjuedeshiquduinidezhangkonggan，zheikenengdaozhitaneixindezaodongbuanhebuan。weilejiejuezheileizaodongbuan，tayexushituyongduinidezhanyouyulaibaochiduiaiqingdecaokong。zheikenengshiyizhongkezhiyuwangbiaoxian，taxiwangtongguocaokongnidexingweiyushenghuo，laijianqingziyidebuanhecuobaigan。danshi，zheileizhanyouyubingbushijiankangdeshenghuofangfa，yinggaijishijinxingjiaoliuhejiexiandeshezhi。

　　处理方法：理解和和他沟通交流

　　yingduinanyoudezhanyouyu，lijiehejieshoutadeqingganshifeichangzhongyaode。zuixian，jiduifangyixieshijianyukongjian，rangshuangfangdoushijiyumanmanfangxiaganqing。yucitongshi，chuangjianqingchudegoutongjiaoliu，duitashuonideqingxuhejiexian。hetapingdengjiaoliu，shitalijienilichanghefenshoudejuece。zuizhuyaodeshi，keshouyuanzehedixian，busuibianzuochurangbuhuoguanzhetadexuqiu。

　　自身发展的关键：重构单独与个人价值

　　fenshouhou，zhonggouduliziyougerenjiazhishihenzhongyaode。genjusuzaogerenxingquaihao、guanxingerenchengzhanghetigaozijidezixinxin，nenggoubangzhuninenggougenghaodiyingduifenshouyutadezhanyouyu。jianshouzijiderichangshenghuo，xingchengzijidezhongduanruanjianhejiaojiquan，rangzijibiandegengjiajianqianghedandu。neiyangbujinkeyibangzhuninenggougenghaodiyingduifenshou，hainengrangtazhidaonideduliziyougerenjiazhi，congerjiangdizhanyouyudedansheng。

　　结束语

　　doufenshoulenanyouweishenmeduiwoyouzhanyouyu，fenshouhounanyouduiniyirancunzaizhanyouyu，henyoukenenglaiyuanyuxinlizhuangtaideyanshen、qingganbianhuadeshijiancha、gududetuidongli，jiqisangshizhangkonggandejiaolv。lejiezheixieyinsubingcaiqushidangdechulifangfacaishiguanjian。tongguogoutong、keshouyuanzehedixian，zhonggouduliziyougerenjiazhi，nenggoubangzhunigenghaodiyingduitadezhanyouyu，chuangjianjiankangdeshenghuofenshouhouguanlian。zuihou，ninengmaijinziwotisheng，tanxunshuyuzijidexingfu。