爱的光：感情中的四不

 aideganjueyounaxieni？sheibuqidaixingfukuailedeganqing，danshidaodishenmejiaoxingfudeganqing，shiwangzihegongzhudetonghuagushi，huanshirenyuantaishandelixian?shimeinvyuyeshoudexiaogushi，huanshihuadieshuangfeidechuanshuogushi?xingfukuaileganqingdeguifan，dajiameiyigerendouhuizhaoxun。shijishangxingfukuaileganqingdeguifanfeichangjiandan，bingbushiwangzigongzhu，gengbingbushihuadieshuangfei，zhishijiandandekuailewuyaosu——shenglixue、anquanxing、shejiaomeiti、zhongshi、ziwojiazhi。zheibujinshixingfudewuyaosu，yeshirenmendejichuyaoqiu，jinyourenmendejichuyaoqiuhuodelekaolv，geyouxiurencaihenyoukenengganshoudaoxingfukuaile。neimeaidefangshiyounaxieni?xiamianjiugensuixiaobianyiqilaikankanaideguangdewenzhangba。

 yijuyingguozhimingshehuixinlixuejiamasiluolilundexuqiucengcijichulilun(maslow’shierarchyofneeds)， aideganjueyounaxieni？yicheng“jichuxuqiucengcijichulilun”kanlai，renmendeyaoqiufenchengwuzhong，xiangtaijieyiyangcongdidaogao，ancengjizhubudisheng。zheiwuzhongyaoqiugeziwei：shenglixueshangdeyaoqiu，anquanxingshangdeyaoqiu，shejiaomeitideyaoqiu，zhongshideyaoqiu，ziwojiazhideyaoqiu。ganqingguishuyuganqinghesuoshudeyaoqiuzhiyi，zaitiaoxuanhunlianjiaoyoumubiaoshi，yidingyaolingwaikaolvdaozheiwufangmiandeyaoqiu，caihenyoukenengrenqingzishen，dedao xingfukuaile。

 xingfukuailedediyiguifan，bianshishenglixueshangdebixushibushinenghuodekaolv。shenglixueshangdebixu，shirenmenzuichu、zuijichudebixu，ruqiti、shui、yongcan、chuanyifu、xingyuwang、zhufang、zhenliaodeng。shenglixueshangdebixujiaruwufadedaokaolv，renmendecunhuojiubianchengnanti。zheigeshihou，jishishuo“youqingyinshuibao”，yezhiyoubaogesanliangtian，zhenyaolaidaojiangyaoesiledechengdu，liancunhuodoumeifabaochi，sheiyebukeyiquebaohainengsixintadidigushouzhezheiyifenshuobailede“ganqing”。shenglixuedebixu，yebaohanxingyuwangdebixu，zheijiushiweihexuduo rendaoganqingdechushijieduan，nenggouhushibicizhijianxingdehemunanti;shubuzhizhenshijindaohunyinshenghuoyihou，xingdehemunanti，quehenyoukenengbianchenghunyinshenghuochuxianfenqi，naizhiwajiededaohuoxian。shenglixuedebixu，wangwangbianchengxingfukuaileganqingdediyiguifan，shirenmenzaibaiwanniandecunhuofanzhiyihou，dangranchanshengdecunhuoguize，youyugerenjinyoucunhuochulai，caihenyoukenengchuanzongjiedai，erjinyoufanzhilezisunhoudai，renmencaihenyoukenengyuanyuanliuzhang。

 cizhi，anquanxingdebixushibushinenghuodequebao。anquanxingdebixubaohanlaodongzheanquanxing、zhiyeanquan、richangshenghuopingwen、qidaikemianyuzaihuo、qidaijianglaiyouquebaodeng。erzaixingfukuaileganqingdeguifanli，anquanxingdebixu，zejiushizhiganqinglidebici，dounengzaiganqingliganshoudaoanquanxing，zailingyifangshenpangganshoudaoanquanxing，zheileishenglixuqiuhuodekaolvhou，caihuizaochengdaliangdechongdong。shexiang，jiaruniyingduideshiyigedaitu，huoshiyimingkongbufenzi，nilianjibendeanquanxingdoutihuibushang，niyeyouhenyoukenengaishangyigerenme?

 zaidu，aideguang，shejiaomeitidebixushibushikeyihuodekaolv。shejiaomeitidebixuyejiaosuoshuyuaidebixu，jiushizhibenrenqipanhuodejiazhong、tuandui、penyou、pengyoudeguanaiaixilejie，shiduiyouyi、xinrengan、wennuan、ganqingdebixu。shejiaomeitidebixubishenglixueheanquanxingbixugengweixiao、gengnancaitou。erzaiganqingli，shejiaomeitidebixuyouqituxian，youyuliangrendexiangyujiaowangxiangshi，shijishangquanshishejiaomeitidebixuzaocheng de。yigechedizibizhengderen，shinanyiherenchuangjianlianaiguanxide，shubuzhibulunshishei，douqidaixingfu，youxinrengan，zheijiushishejiaomeitidebixusuozaocheng de，erzaiganqingli，zheileishejiaomeitidebixuyouqituxian，genjushejiaomeiti，genjugoutonglejie，huxiangrenzhinenglihuxianglijie，caikeyiwanchenghemudeganqing。

 suihou，zhongshidebixushibushikeyihuodequebao。zhongshidebixukefenchengzizunxin、tazunhequanliyusanlei，baohanzishenzhongshi、gerenpingjiajiqizunzhongtaren。zaiganqingli，zhongshidebixubingbuyidinghuodechedidekaolv，zhongjiumeiyigerendezhuiqiubingbuwanquanyizhi，zhengsuoweidangshiyishudezheijuhua：“yudaoniwoyuelaiyuehendihendi，yizhibeiweidaochenailiqu，danwoxinshikaixinde。”keshizaiganqingli，zhongshidebixuhaiyaohuodejichudekaolv，jinyoujuedezishenbeilingyifangbixu，beilingyifanggaoduzhongshi，caihuichuxianzhenshidexingfukuaileganqing。

 zuizhong，bianshiziwojiazhidebixukefouhuodekaolv。tashirenmenyaoqiuzhongcengjideyaoqiu，zaiganqingli，tashiyizhongchuangzaolidebixu。ganqinglideziwojiazhi，daibiaozhechongzudi、huoyuexingdi、quanshenxindi、jizhonghuaquanliyifuzhuanxinzhizhidiyeyushenghuo，chongfenfahuizishenqianli，jiqilingyifangqianli。xuduo xingfudeganqing，doujirenyizhongreqingheyishuchuangyi，lianaizhongderen，tongchangganjuezishenshiliangmanyouyoudelanbojini，youyuzishenqianlizhaodaowanchengdeyanchuwutai。

 xiabian，aidefangshiyounaxieni？shiwomenlaizuoyigeguanyuxingfuganqingdejiance，taolunyixianidexingfukuaileganqingzuiheshizheiwugeguifanzhongdenayitiao。