感情真相 依恋类型与亲密关系

 yiqianhuiyingleyigenanti：nanyouyijianshixintailengmo，yingdanggaizenmeban?fajuehenduopenyouduizaiqizhongdehunyinguanxiceshitebiexiai，bingqiecehouyihoufaxianzishenguishuyufeianquanxingyilian，laishijilejiegaizenmeban，yinci youqishulileyiqiansuojiao，jinkenengqianxianyidongdicongyilaidedingyi、shaonianertongdeyilianleixinghechengnianrendeyilianleixingsangecengmianlaibiaomingdajiaxianrujindeyilianleixingshizenyangzaochengde，yeshizenyangweihaiwomenyubierenfazhanqushihunyinguanxide，zuizhong，shaoshaotaolunzenyangbianhuayilianleixing。neimeganqingwentizaixianzixunyounaxieni?xiamianjiugensuixiaobianyiqilaikankanganqingzhenxiangdewenzhangba。

依赖

 yilaizheiyidingyizuikaishishiyoumeiguojingshenyixuejialangzuobi(johnbowlby，1969)mingquetichude，tazailuolunzi(konradlorenz)dekexueyanjiu(baobaoduimamadekeyinjichulilun)hehaluo(harryharlow)deshiyan(youhousuiranyouxitiesizuodemuhousiyang，danquexunzhaoweiyiyuyourongfangzhiwudemuhou)dejibenshang，jiangyilaijiedingwei“gerenyujubeiduteshijiyiyidebierenchanshengjiangudeganqingqiaoliangdequxiang，nengweigerenchushianquanxinghekuanwei”。langzuobimingquetichuyilaizheiyidingyizhuyaoshiyongyubiaoshubaobaoliangzhezhijianbaoyangzhezhongjiandeganqinglianluo，danzhihoudexuezhemenjiangzhituozhanlaidaochengrenzhijian。

 rujindajiayibanjuede，yilai(attachment)shigerenyuguanjianyangyuzhefazhanqushichudeyizhongdutede、ganqingzhenxiang,jijizhudongdeganqingqiaoliang，yejiushizhigerenxunzhaobingwangtuyulingyigetizairentiheganqingshangweichiqinmiwujianlianluodequxiang。

 yilaijishigerenzuikaishideshehuirenzhilianjie，yeshiganqingshehuixingdeguanjianbiaoshi。jianyieryan，genjuyilaibierendajiayibushiyigegududegeren，zhishiyigerongjinletuantideshehuirenshi。

zhangwodeyilaidejichuneihan，jiexiaqu，dajiataolunyixiayilianleixingzheiyidingyiyeshizenyangmingquetichude。

少年儿童的依恋类型

 shuodaoyilianleixing(attachmentstyles)，jiubudebutijishengshuqingjingshiyan(strangesituation)，gaishiyanshiyouaisiwosideng(maryainsworth&witting,1969)shejifangande，tamenzuixianfenpeimuyingyongpinzaiyigechedishengshudeziranhuanjingzhong，suihourangbaobaogezilijingmamaliqu、lurenjindaodengqingjing。guanchabaobaozaiyumamafenlichulaihehuanjudequanguochengzhong，jiqiyingduilurendequanguochengzhongdezhuyaobiaoxian，jinerduibaobaodeyilianleixingkaizhanfenbian。shijiyixia：

zhu：diyigeqingjingbuduansanshimiao，qitageqingjingjunwei3fenzhong。

 aisiwosidengzhangqixingguanchalewugandahemeiguojiatingmuzijiandexianghuyingxiang，yunyongsuoshuyanjiusilu，yijubaobaozaishengshuqingjingzhongdebuyiyangfanying，jiangbaobaoyilaiquhuaweixialiesanzhongzhonglei：

①anquanxingyilian(secureattachment)

 jutibiaoxianweizaiyumamayiqishi，jiangqizuowei“anquanxingchanyejidi”，yimamaweiguanlizhongxinjijiqutanxunziranhuanjing，bingbingbushizongweiyizaimamashenbian，zhigenjuyoushihoudeaijinhuomuguangningshiyumamagoutongjiaoliu，mamadaochangshi，baobaojuedechongzudeanquanxing;dangmamaliqushi，xianzhuzhuyaobiaoxianchufannao、zaodongbuan;dandangmamahuijiashi，huimashangxunzhaoyumamachupeng，jiangqizuowei“bifenggangwan”，yibeifuwei。yuezhan65%～70%。

 eranquanxingxingbaobaodemamayibanduixiaohaideshujuxinhaojixintaibiaoshu(huqiu、zhitidongzuodeng)henbijiaomingan，nenglijizhangwoxiaohaideniantou，jiaoyuhaizikaizhantanxun，bingqiexiaihexiaohaiyouqinmiwujiandechupeng。

②huibixingyilian(avoidantattachment)

 jutibiaoxianweiyumamagangfenlichulaishibingbushangxin，danduziyirenzaishengshuziranhuanjingzhongdaiyiduanshijianhouhuijuedejiaolvqingxu。feichangrongyiyulurenjiaowang，feichangrongyirongrushengshudeziranhuanjing，feichangrongyiconglurenneibiandedao kuanwei。dangfenlichulaihouzaikandaomamashi，duimamacaiyongtaobixintai;youxierenyebazheizhongbaobaochengzhiwei“wuyilaibaobao”。yuezhan20%。

 huibixingbaobaodemamayougezhongleixing。youdeduixiaohaiqianquexixin，dangxiaohaiyingxiangzishendefanganhezhutihuodongshishengyouzhihuozenghenxiaohai，duixiaohaideshujuxinhaochidun;youdeduixiaohaichangchangzhuyaobiaoxianchuxiaochenganqing，jibian duixiaohaibiaoshujijizhudongganqing，shuipingyehenhenruo……yinerbicizhijianbingmeiyouchanshengyouqijinmideqingganlianjie。

③jiaolvqingxu—fenqixingyilai(anxious-ambivalentattachment)

 jutibiaoxianweimeimeimamayaoliquqianjiukanqilaihenjingxing，dangmamaliqushizhuyaobiaoxiandeshifenfannao、jiqidikang，yiqieyiciduanzanxingdefenlichulaidoushihuizaochengdashenghanjiao。dandangmamahuijiashi，qiduimamadexintaiyeshifenqide，jixunzhaoyumamachupeng，danlingwaiyoudikangyumamachupeng。dangmamaqinmijiechutashi，fahuodihuijue、lakai，keshiyaotazaicihuilaiwanyouxihaoxiangyoubutaifeichangrongyi，shichangchaomamazheierkan。yuezhan10%～15%。

 dikangxingbaobaodemamachangwuhuixiaohaideshujuxinhao，tadezhaoliaogerenxingweibushiyizhide，duixiaohaidefanyingdaliangdiqujueyuzishenneishihoudexinqing，erbushixiaohaidegerenxingwei。yiner，zaixiaohaideshujuxinhaohemamadexintaibiaoshujianchangzhuyaobiaoxianchubuyizhi。

 zaizheilisanzhongyilianleixingzhong，huibixingyudikangxingdouguishuyubuanquanxingyilian。baobaoduimamadeyilianleixingjijubeixianzhudekekaoxing，danlingwai，zaijiatingfenweilijinghendazhuanbian，mamayubaobaodexiangchuchanshenghendabianhuashi，yehenyoukenengchanshengbianhua。

neima，neimewentilaile，yilianleixingdechabieshizenyangzaochengdeni?

zheishiyigefanzadenanti，zaizheilijianduanshuoshuo。

依恋类型差别的造成

 shehuixinlixuezhongyizhicunyouzheyouguanjiyinyichuanyuziranhuanjing(yejiushishuo，benxingyuxiuyang)dezhengzhi(nature-nurturecontroversy)，jirendefazhanshizaichushiyiqianjiuyoujiyinyichuanheshengwuyinsushixianjuecede，huanshishouhoutianxinggongzuojingyanhehuanjingyaosujuecede?

 rujin，dajiayibanjuede：jiyinyichuanshixinlizhuangtaifazhanqushideweishengwuqiantitiaojian，ziranhuanjingshixinlizhuangtaifazhanqushideguanjianxingbiaozhun(zaiqizhongwenhuajiaoyuzaigerenxinlizhuangtaifazhanqushizhongqizhezhudaodiwei)。jiyinyichuanyuziranhuanjingxianghuzhijiangongxiaoheweihai，xianghujuecezhegerendefazhanqushi，zhenduibuyiyangdexinlizhangai，tamenqizhegongxiaodezhanbibuyiyang。

 yinci ，yilianleixingchabiedezaochengjiyugerenzishenxiantianxingdeshengwuyinsuxiangguan，yeyuhoutianxingdexiuyang、suozaidejiatingfenweidengxiangguan。

 ganqingwentizaixianzixun:shaonianertongxiantianxingtexingyouqishiqichangyumamadeyangyujiannanshuipingxixixiangguan，liru，dajiazonghuijiandaoyixieshaonianertongfeichangrongyizhaogu，yumamapeihemoqi，rongyirenkeweijie;yixieshaonianertongnanyizhaogu，chuxianyichanghuoyuexing，huijuemamadeqinmijiechu，buyifuwei。【liuyi!zheierdeqichangxuyurichangshenghuozhongchanghuishuodeqichangqubieqilai~shehuixinlixuezhongqichang(temperament)jiushizhiyigerennannengkeguideyizhongpingwendexinlitedian，jidajiapingchangchangshuodexingzi、pinxing，jutibiaoxianzaixinlihuodongmiaoxiedekangyaqiangdu、sulv、xiediaonengliyudaoxiangxingdengcengmian。rendeqichangchabieshixiantianxingchanshengde，shouzhongshushenjingxitongzhutihuodongquanguochengdetediansuoqianzhi。xiaohaiganggangchushengshi，zuikaishizhuyaobiaoxianchuqudechabiebianshiqichangchabie，liruyoudexiaohaiainaohaodong，youdexiaohaiwendingqingjing。】