婚姻咨询：分手了应该怎么挽回

　　fenshouleyinggaizenmewanhui，zhengchao，shihunyinlizaisuonanmianyibufen。zaixingfudefuqi，yenanmianyouyuyijianbuyizhi、qingxubengkuihuoshenghuosuosuierchanshengmaodun。danshi，zhengchaobukepa，gengkepadeshibuzhidaoruhejiejuemaodun，gengshirangzhengzhizhuanbianchenglengbaolihuoshanghai。

　　shijishang，chaojiazhihoudehehaoquanguocheng，wangwangshizengjinfuqiganqingdejuejiajihui。jiarukeyiyongzhengquedefangfajiejuemaodun，bujinkeyirangfenqijishijiejue，haikeyiranglianggerendeguanxigengjiaqinmi。neiyang，fuqizhengchaohou，yingdangzenyangzhengquehebijiaohao?yixiashuyu5geguanjianyinsu，bangzhunimenzaizhengchaohouxiufuguanxi，naizhirangganqingbiyiqiangengqiang。

　　第一步：理智心态，防止火上加油

　　1. zhongzhizhengzhi，jiduifangqingxingdeshizhang

　　rennaonushi，tongchanghuijiangchushangxindehua，erzheiyangdehuayoukenengzaiduifangxinliliuyouchijiudeshangba。yiner，dangqingxubengkuishi，zuihaodefangfashizanshizhongzhizhengzhi，jiduifangyidianqingxingdeshizhang。

　　可以这么说：

　　•“dajiaxianzaiyoudianjidong，daoburulizhi10min，zaihaohaotan?”

　　•“wobuyuanyizainaopiqishuoshanghainidehua，womenshouxianfenbielengjingyixia。”

　　2. shenxiqi，diaozhengqingxu

　　qingxuguojishi，shenglifangmianhuiyouxintiaojiakuai、xueyashangshengdengfanying。zheishihou，nengtongguoshenxiqilaihuanjiexinqing，bimianrangzhengzhigengxin。

　　小窍门：

　　•shenxiqi5ci，shuwan5ranhoumanmanhuxi

　　•taolixianchang，quyangtaihuolingyigewuzilizhi

　　•heyibeishui，fensanzhuyili

　　jinji：lizhi≠lengbaoli!duanzanlizhishiweilegenghaodegoutongjiaoliu，erfeihuibiwenti。

　　第二步：换位思考一下，了解别人的感受

　　1. sheshenchudidesisuo

　　chaojiadeshihou，womenchangchangzhikanjianzijidebiequ，quehushilebierendeganshou。changshiwenyixiaziji：

　　•“taweishenmehuizheimeqifen?”

　　•“tazhenzhenzhengzhenggengkanzhongdeshinaxie?”

　　•“jiaruwoshita，wohuizenmezuo?”

　　2. renkeduifangdeganshou

　　jishinibuchedirenkeduifangjianjie，yeyaoxianrenketadetiyan。biru：

　　•“womingbainirujinhenqifen，wogangjiangdehuadequeshinishangxinle。”

　　•“wolijieniweiherucizaiyizheijianshi。”

　　liuyi：bunengyong“keshi”laizhuanzhedian，liru“womingbainiqifen，keshi……”zheiyangjiuhuirangrenjuedeniniyizhizaifuyanleshi。

　　第三步：真诚道歉，修补情绪裂缝

　　1. jijizhiqian，erfeidengduifangdixiatou

　　fenshouleyinggaizenmewanhui，henduorendoujuede“sheizhiqiansheijiushule”，keshishishang，xianzhiqianrencaishizhenzhenzhengzhengaixizheiduanganqingderen。

　　正确道歉方式：

　　•rencuo：“zhendeduibuqi，gangcaibuyinggaineibanjianghua。”

　　•biaoshulejie：“wozhidaozijidehuashinifeichangnanguo。”

　　•fuwuchengnuogaishan：“yihouwohuiliuyi，buhuizaizheigeyangzi。”

　　不正确的道歉方式：

　　•“zhendeduibuqixingleba?”(fuyanleshi)

　　•“jinguanduibuqi，danniyeyoushenmewenti。”(taobizeren)

　　2. yongshijixingdongtianbu

　　chukaiyuyanshangdezhiqian，yekeyiyongxingweibiaoshuchengxin，liru：

　　•给对方一个相拥

　　•zuoyiduntaaichidefan

　　•xieyizhangxiaozhitiaobiaoshiqianyi