不上进的男人提出分手还挽回吗？只需改变惩罚式激励方式

 nanyouyizhiwusuozuowei，busijinqu，texianghetazoudegengzhangyuan，xiwangtanengweizijiyigegengweianquanxingdejingjifazhanquebao，weilegenghaodishitagengweiqinfen，woyizhixiaizaitayanqiantanjiwodeyiweigongzuozhongxiaohuoban，kuazanzheiweinanxingdewanshan、qinfenhechuse。nanyoutingjianzheizhonghuahoufandaosibuhuigai，daoshigenwofashengzhengzhi。jinqideyicizhengzhiyejiushiwotijineigeren，tasuoxingshuoyaowogenneigerenyiwanghaola！jiushizheiyangwuyuanwugudefenshou。rujinshuangfangdouchuzaibulianxideqingkuang，wogaizenmezuo，woshiweilegenghaoditahao，nanrentichufenshouhaiwanhuima？nanpengyoushuofenshoujiuzhendebunengwanhuilema？huazhenxiaobianrenwei，nanrenshuofenshouyaobuyaowanhuishouxianqujueyutaduinilaishuo，daodiyouduozhongyao。yinweigenjuniliangdeshilaikan，jinguannishineixinmianjinidenanyouhao，keshishishishangnidezuofaqueyanlidajidaotananshengdexinxin，lingyifangmianyeshiyoushitayoudianerfapiqi，nijuedezishenzhibuguoxiwanggenjuzheileifangfalaijilita，shitayuelaiyuegengqinfen。keshimeiyouxiangqidajiajuranhuiyouyuneiyangdesuoshifenshou。

 niyaoxiangyixiangnidezuofashifouyouxiexiangniershi，nimamazuizhongdetarenjiadexiaohai，tamagenjumaiyuantarenjiadexiaohaixuexihaolaicijixingxuexipeixunni？woxiangwenyixiaruguonimuqinneiyangshuonideqingkuangxia，nixinlidetihuishiruhedeni？shifouhuijuedehenfangan。

 tongchangxuduorenyubanlvjiaowangdeqingkuangxiayouyigehenbuhaodexiguan，bianshichengfashijili。zaidajiawanliuxueshengdeshilizhongfajue9chengzhishangderendoushiyouneiyangdegoutongfangshi，xuduoduanganqingdoushiyouyuzheiyiyuangutichufenshoude。jinyougaibianzheileichengfashijili，caikeyiwanliunanyou。

 zaiwomenxiwangzishendebanlvdadaoyigezongtimubiaoshi，yongweixiehehehu，erbushizhengliandelijijiliqujililingyifang。dangliangrenguanlianlifashengnantideqingkuangxia，dajiadouxiwanggenjugoutongjiaoliuqujilizishendebanlv，ranglingyifanggengjijidiqutuidongguanlian。danshihenduorenquexiaibacezhongdianfangdaonantihebingzhengshangbian，yimaiyuan、chize、tichuzhiyihexuanxiedefangfaqubiaoshuzishen。

 genjuchengfalaijilihetuidonggerenxingweigaibian，dahuoerhuipeiyangneiyangdexiguanxing，haoxiangyehedajiadewenhuajiaoyuhechengzhanglichengmiqiexiangguan。laoshihefumuyiguanzhijindefangfaquanshizemachengfa，neiyangdefangfakanqilaishijililedajia，danshijishangchanshengxuduozizunhexinxindesunhai，jilizhiwaidajiabeidilitourulefeichangdadexinlizhuangtaichengben。

 xuduorendaochengnianrenyihou，youyuquefaqiadangdexiaofangmubiao，yincijinguanhenhenzheileijilifangfa，danyeshenbuyouyidishengbanyingtaodaozishenderichangshenghuoli，kandaiqinglvdeqingkuangxia，yeshixiaiquchengfalingyifang，ganjuelingyifangchongzudanxin、chongzuyougongzuoyalile，bianhuiyuelaiyuegengqiang。henyihandeshi，chuduixiangbingbushijiaoyuxiaohai，xiaohaiwufaliqubabamama，keshiqinglvhuiyouyubugaoxingerfangqini。

 chengfashijili，youshiqueshikeyishinidebanlvlaolaoshishijiufan，keshibubiganjueneiyangniyejiuhuosheng。qiangningdeguayizhibutiande，nizongyaotourudianchengben。yigekanqilaihenchongnihenyanzhenidebanlv，buyidingjiuzhendeshiyigehaobanlv，youyunishizhongburongyilejiedajiadeguanlianshibushiyoujinidechengfashijilifuqian，nishizhongburongyilejielingyifangzaituoxiejiufandelingwai，shibushineixinyoubugaoxingrangnihualexiaobaicha。

 nanpengyoushuofenshoujiuzhendebunengwanhuilema？jiarunixiwangyouzheyiduanpingwenhechixuwanshandeguanlian，jiuwubihuanyigeshijiao、huanyigefangshilaijiejuelianggerenzhongjiandebuyue。bafenqimaodunlejieweibixutuidonghecujinzhuanxing，baqianghandegongzuoyalihechengfaqudaiweixiaozhiyilidejiliqidi。henyoukenengninengwen，shijiyaozenmezuoni？zhenzhiyizhibuyaneryude，nixuyaozuodebianshizhengliandibiaoshuniduilingyifangdeqidai，erqiejilingyifanghuashangbing，rangtajiandaogaibiannenggouchanshengnaxiedeshouyi。

一、积极主动立即地表述你的激励

 jiejinsuonengxiang，nijuedenanyouruhejilinizuiheli，zuinengshinijiena？ziranshilijibiaoshuzuihaoshi，niyinggailijigaozhinanyouxiwangtaqinfen，weilegenghaodidajiadeqingganjianglaiyaohaohaodiqinfen，neiyangdajiadeqingganhuiyulaiyutianmei。erbushigenjujutarendeshililaijifengjifengta。

二、碰到事儿先问一下自己两个难题

 nanrentichufenshouhaiwanhuima？meiyiciruguoniganjuehezishenbanlvfashengnantideqingkuangxia，zainijiangzishendebumanyihezenghenbaofachulaiyiqian，xianhuiguotoulaizheilianggenanti：lingyifangruhegaibian，keyishinijuedelingrenmanyi？jiaruyouxierenyaoshinizuoneiyangdegaibian，zuihaoshidejilinidefangfashisha？bazheilianggenantidehuida，yunidebanlvgoutongjiaoliu，dajiadeguanlianlimeiyouguobuqudekan。

三、改变强悍的心态，积极主动正确引导另一方改变

 xuduobanlvdenanti，shuodaodihaishibudongdezenyangjilihetuidonglingyifanggaibian，nanrenshuofenshouyaobuyaowanhuizhimingbaiyongqianghan、gongzuoyalihezhengzhiquposhilingyifangtingcong，meiyouxiangguoliangrenzaiyiqiyitongxiangqian，yaokeyihenshanyugaibian，yishuodaogaibianjiuhenyouxingquaihaohenyouqudonglicaixing。meiyicidoumaiyuan、zhengchao，dangranduiguanlianyulaiyumeixingqu，duiliangrendejianglaiyulaiyumeizixinxin。