背叛了的婚姻还有必要继续吗

　　beipanledehunyinhaiyoubiyaojixuma，“tachuguile，wohenshangxinyiye，dandiertian，woyedunlezaofanjitachi。taduiwoshuo：niweihehaizheiyangduiwo?wojiang：youyuwohaishixianglejie，ruguokeyidehua，womenkebukeyizaicidongdexianglian。”

　　lingyifangyoulewaiyu，danshinihaibuyuanfangqi，zheiduanganqinghaiyouxiwangma?zheipianwenzhangshixiejihaixiangyaoxiubuderenkande。

　　kenengdajiahuijiaoniliyi，henishuoyicibuzhongjibaiciwuxu，danneishiniderenshengdaolu，yekeyizijizuozhu!

　　1.外遇的种类，确定修复很有可能

　　oufawaiyu，ruyishimitu、xintaiminganqi、churuzhichangguoduqinmideng，rengyoukenengtongguozhenchengdehuigaiyushenrujiaoliuzhongjianxinren。danshiruguoshixiayishiwaiyu、duiguanliantaobizeren、haowuhuiyi，zheiyangdeganqinghenkenengzhishibuduanshoushangxunhuan。

　　xinlixuezhuanjiaesther perelzai《buzhong》yishuzhongqiangdiao，youyixiewaiyushenhoubujinjinshiduibanlvdehuijue，zhishiduizishenshenfenxunmi，neijiushiziwomishidehuhuan，erbushidanchundedepanbian。

　　danzhongyaodeshi：lingyifangyuanbuyuanyichengdan?yuanbuyuanyigenggai?yuanbuyuanyiwanquanduankaidisanzhe?

　　jiarudaanjiushimohubuqingde，neiyangzheiyifenguanlian，huoxuzhishengxiakongqiaozi。

　　waiyudeshizhi，bujinjinshipanbian，gengjiashitishi。

　　tishizheiduanganqingyouliefengle，tishihenduohuadajiayizhimeishuo，youyixieyaoqiuwomenyizhiyayigan。

　　xinlixuezhuanjiaaisite·pairuier(esther perel)zaitadezhezuo《buzhong》zhongxiedao：“hunwailian，youshihoubingbushiyaolikailingyifang，ershixiwangliquxianzaidewo。”

　　zheihuachuopoledangdaihunyinlidemangqu：xuduowaiyu，shiduobi，erbushixuanze。

　　yinci，nijiuyinggaiyaowen：

　　“haiyuanbuyuan，zaicirenzhenxiufuguanxi?”

　　2.你可不可以承担“再次”代价?

　　kuanrongbingbushikoutoushangjiangjiangjiukeyizuodao，zheishiyicixinlishangdefanxiugongcheng。

　　womenxuyaobaorong，dangengyinggaiziwobaohudenengliang。

　　jiaruhuiyinweizhongjianxinrenerriricaiyi、ririyeyetongkuliuti，neizheiduanganqingkenengrangnihaoguangxinlinengliang。

　　jiarunimingbaizijinanyirenshouzaidubeibeipanfengxian，suoyixuanzefenli，fanershiyizhongduizishendewenwan。

　　ninengkuanrong，danshibuyingdangwangque。

　　yekeyixuanzeliuyou，danshibixugaoqingchu：congjintiankaishi，suoyoudeyiqiedouxuyaofujian。

　　chuguishiyichangguanliandizhenhuodong。zaiyuzhenweipingyiqian，xianbuyaozhejibandaoyuanxiandejia，qingjinkuaichayanzheidongfangzihainengbunengruzhu。

　　yixiashuyuxiufuhunyinshi，zuizhongyaodesangewenhao：

　　ta(ta)shibushiyuanyichengdanbuzhengque?

　　zhenzhidekuijiubujinjinshishuoduibuqi，fanershijijiduankaiyudisanzhedelianluo，bingyunxuninyoushijianyukongjianzhishang。

　　nishibushihaiyuanyijieshouyici?

　　zunzhongshikeyixiufude，danshikaoshijianyuxingwei。erbushiyonghuayanqiaoyu，fanershirifuyiridewendingyuquantouming。

　　dajiayuanbuyuanyiyiqigenggaiyuanxiandefangshi?

　　jiarunimenzhijiandeganqingbenshenjiushilengmo、goutongjiaoliuwuxiao、gexingqishi，neiyangwaiyujinjinjielun，bingbushiyuangu。

　　3.对方愧疚，是否有转换成行为?

　　zheishiyitiaoguanjiandefenxianjianxiansuo。

　　shikoutoushangzhiqian，huoshijutigenggai?

　　shizhudongtoumingshoujixinxi，huoshiyiranduoduoshanshan?

　　shiyuanyiyiqiquhunyinzixun，haishizhishuo“xiacibuhuile”?

　　zhenzhengyiyishangdekuijiubingbushikujinimen，fanershitashidixiufu、diaojiehejianchi。

　　beipanledehunyinhaiyoubiyaojixuma，meiguohunyinzhiliaoshi john gottman deyanjiubiaoming：xiangyaofuzerenbingxingweixiufuchuguizhe，qihunyinxiufutongguolvyuanyuangaoyujinkoutoushangchengrencuowuzhe。

　　4. 孩子的幸福，确实在于婚姻生活是不是“详细”吗?

　　youderenhuishuo：“weilebaobao，dajiabunenglihun。”

　　keshihaizixiangyaode，bingbushixingshishang“jia”，fanershiguishuganyujijiqingxudeshenghuohuanjing。

　　erqiemeitiandejiatingfenweishilengdan、caiyi、zhengzhi，neimejibianbabamamameiyoulihun，tamendeneixinyijiushiqianchuangbaikongde。

　　xiangbimianqiangweichi，bibushangyichengxiangdai，jibianfenli，haikeyishikeguanerchongmanaidebabamama。

　　buyaorangshehuifazhanshuociyingxiangwomen，“weilebaobaonixuyaorenshou”“jiranjiehunlejiudejianchidaodi”。

　　liuxia，bugaishichuziyupajimo、meiyouqianrichangshenghuo、haipabeitarenshuosandaosi，zhiyingdangdoushiyinweinizhenxinjuedezheiduanganqinghaizhide。

　　tongli，liqubingbudaibiaonishule。youshi，wanbiyiduanshinihenwolidouzhijiandeguanxi，jiushiduizijizuiqimadezunzhong。

　　zhenzhengdechengshu，shikandaozheiduanganqingzaoyiwufazhichinimenlianggerendefazhan，yinci，xuanzefenshou，rangshuangfangzhongguifenbieshengminglugui。