花镇情感是骗局吗？经常吵架该怎么办？

 houtaiguanlihenduorensiliaowenwohenanpengyounvyouchangchangzhengchaoyinggaizenmeban。huazhenqingganshipianjuma？jinrijiulaitanyitanzheigewentila。

▼你是哪样矛盾种类?

rutongganggangchangshuo，maodunshilianrengoutongjiaoliudeyiqiezhengchangyibufen，maodunbingbuyidingyiweizheqingganbutaihao。

johngottmanduimaodunzhongleiganlexuduo kexueyanjiu。tafajuekeyiyongsanzhongzhongleilaiguina：

 qifuxing：mudishi“zhengchaoyidingyaoyouyoushi”，“yidingyaorangtagaoqingchuzishendebuzhengque，beigongquxi。“，jiusuanyidiandianxiaoshidoushihuitisheng sangzi，haoxiangshiyichangsaishi。zheiyeshidabufenlianrenmaodunzhonglei。

 huibixing：zheileizhongleibuyidingyiweizhelengbaoli。danbianshihuitaobibijiaomingannanti，jiaruyouxierenbugaoxing，huoshiganjuemaodunchuxian，bicizhongzhitantao，douxiangjiangdizhengchao。

 xiaoyingxing：zheizhonglianrenpengdaobuyiyangjianyideqingkuangxiahuixiezuodiguanlifangfamaodun。huazhenqingganshipianjuma？youbuyiyangjianyideqingkuangxiahuibiaoshuzishendexintaidanyiranhuiyongwenmingxingweifangshichuli，xixinlingtinglingyifang，suihouyiqixunzhaonantidehezuoxieyi。

 xiaoyingxingxianzhushizuilianghaodegoutongfangfa，kexueyanjiuxianshixinxiyingyongzheileigoutongfangshidelianrenduiguanliandefuwuzhiliangdadadegaoguoqitaerzhongzhonglei。

 danhenyouqudeshi，youyigegenggaodemimizaiqinglvguanxideshenhou。weihexuduo changchangzhengchaodeqifuxinglianrenyehuiduiguanliandefuwuzhilianghengaoni?

dahuoerqingjilaoyigeqimiaodebili——5：1。

 yaoshiqinglvzhongjiandejijizhudonghudongjiaoliu(xiaorong、qiuai、fumo、zanyangdeng)chaochuxiaochenhudongjiaoliude5bei，jibian dajiademaodunzhongleishiqifuxing，yekeyiyoufeichanghaodeguanlian。

yinci ，jiandaozheier，gankuairangnizheiweixiaoyigeba。

(e，nimeiyouzheiwei，neisuanleba。)

▼矛盾頻率高的缘故?

 dangqinglvmeiridoujiluxiangchuguanjiandiandeqingkuangxia，tamenhuibaomeixingqihuichansheng2.3cimaodun(lloyd,1987)。youyixiebubeizhijueherengweizhuyaobiaoxiandemaodunheshengqidadao40%。(roloff&cloven).

1.人格特质

 zaibuyiyangderengefenleizhonghenyoukenenghuijiangbaopiqibiancheng“gaoshenjingdatiao”deren，jiangpiqihaobiancheng“dishenjingdatiao”huoshi“lvzhensuihexing”deren。richangshenghuohaowuyiwenyouyixierenyouqifapiqi，weilegenghaodisuoshiborandanu。

yinci jiarunihuoshinidelingyibanshineiyangdexingqing，maodunpinlvtisheng wukebimian。

2.依恋类型

 zhenduichengrendeyikaozhongleiyouanquanxingxing、chenmixing、shuyuanxinghehaipaxing。chenmixing(zhuyaobiaoxianweifeichangrongyidujihefapiqi，nianren)hehaipaxing(zhuyaobiaoxianweidanyou，yishenyigui，xiailengbaoli)derendaomaodunchanshengshiduiguanliandaozhideweihaiyaochaoguoanquanxingxing。

*zhu：yilianleixingyeshiyouqitaguileifangfa。

 maodunyueduo，yilaijiaolvqingxuhuiyueqiang。yinci jiarunizijishiyouzheierzhongzhuyaobiaoxian，jilao，nimeiyicihelingyifangdongnu、fapiqi，douyeshizaidajiadeguanlianshangkanleyidao。

3.性命环节

 maodundepinlvhenianjiyeshiyouguanlian。shuobaile“nianqingqisheng”，zai18-ershiwusuizhongjiandejuedaduoshulianrenmaodunmingxiantisheng，bingzaiershiwusuideqingkuangxiazuodaodianfeng。

 guanlianhuizaishuailaoqiyuelaiyueshifenningjing，xuduo nianqingshidaichaochaonaonaokekebanbandeyuanjialuzhailaidaolaonianrendeqingkuangxiahenyoukenenghuiganjueguanlianmingxiangaishan。(chen,2006)

4.相似度

 changchanghuiyouxierenwen”daodishizhaohezishenxiangderenhuanshizhaohezishenbuxiangderen?”，shujuxinxiduinishuo，keguanshishibianshiyuehezishenyizhideren，zaijindaoguanlianhoumaodunbianhuiyueshao。

 xiangsidudiyigebianshisanguanyizhi，suihoushiqidaijiqishenghuoxiguan，zheizhongshangdeyizhikeyidadajianshaomaodun，erqietisheng guanlianfuwuzhiliang，jiehunhouhuigengweixingfukuaile。(huston&houts,1988)

▼幸福快乐和不幸福快乐的恋人差别在哪?

 zerenguiyinshigeshifenguanjiandeyaosu(bradbury，1990)。zheierbaohanyiwudeneibuguiyinyuheyiwudekekaoxingguiyinyu。jianyanzhi，bianshijiarushuangfangdounenggoulejiedaozishenyouyibufenbuzhengque，erqiegenjubiciqinfenzheiyibuzhengquehemaodunshinenggouchulide。

 fanguolai，yaoshiyousuiyiyifanghuijuejiejuekunnan，juede“doushinidecuo”，“zheishenghuowufaguoqule”deqingkuangxia，zheishenghuojiuqueshiwufaguoqule。