什么才算爱？挽回中如何提升吸引力？

 shenmeshiai？jinqiyiduanshijian，henduorenhuigaosuwo，zishenwanhuizhendehennan，juedeyoushiyizhaokechengneirongshangbiandefangshibudahaoshijicaozuo，yebuzhidaogaizenmekaizhan。neimeshenmecaisuanaini?xiamianjiugensuixiaobianyiqilaikankanshenmejiaoaidewenzhangba。

 ruguoshinimeiyoubanfafenbianyongnayangfangfalaiyingyongdaowanhuishijicaozuozhong，nenggouliuyanbanliuyanbangwo，zheiliyouyifenwanhuiqiangjiuzixunbaonenggoubangni，jishuzhuanyeganqingjiaolianyuannenggoubangnikaizhanpouxi。

 danruguoshinifajuezaizishenkaizhanwanhuishijicaozuoyihou，lingyifangmeishenmefanying，jiudekaolvyixiashifouzishenzaiwanhuizhong，chuangjianxiyinlidegongzuozhongshibaile。

01假如单纯性的从字面上和主要表现上去表述，吸引力能够了解为一个人由于另一个人的容貌、身型、体形、性情这些层面，而造成兴趣爱好的全过程。

keshi，jiusuanneiyangbiaoshu，“xiyinli”zheiyidingyihuanshikanqilaikewangerbukeji。

neima，dajiajiubaxiyinlizheiyidingyilaijiandanhuayixia。

shijishangjianyieryan，baganqinglidexiyinlimiaoshuchengyizhongqingkuanggengqiehe。

 liru，niquxiangqin，youlianggetongjibieqitanansheng，zaiqizhongyigezongjinixiangdaoqianqiyedeshazilaozong，lingyigezongjiniguanxiqixianqiyedesicaogaolengnanshen。

nijuedeninenggengxiangyaoqushenrulejienayigenanshengni?

neiyanglailejiexiyinlijiujianyixuduo le。

keyiyinqishenbianrentansuohewajuechongdongdetexing，bianshixiyinli。

shenmeshiai？rutongwojingchangjishoutuorenshuode，zaiwanhuidequanguochengzhongyidingyaofujianxiyinli。

zaineiyangdeshijicaozuozhongfujiande，shijishangbianshilingyifangduinidetansuochongdong。

 zhongjiu，liangrenzaiyiqichongzuzhangwolingyifangle，erqiezhenduixianghuzhijianzhongjiandexingqing、aihaoyongyoujiaoweiquanfangweidetansuoyihou，xiyinlijiuzaoyizaizhujianjiangdile，gengbuyaoshuojiaruchuxianhunyinpolieyihou，ninenggouchuansongjilingyifangdexiyinlizaoyigui0le。

 tashiyigerenbennengfanyingxingdegerenxingwei，yaoshikeyiweichitaduinidetansuoyu，neimejiuyiweizheniyizhizaitalaikanrengyouyidingdexiyinli，ershihoudewanhuishijicaozuo，yejiuhaiyoujihuizaicikaizhanxialaile。

 nijuedezishenzaiwanhuizhongkazhule，kaizhanbuxialaile，daduoshudoushiyouyulingyifangbuyuanyiquzaicizhangwonini，ganjuenizaoyibeifajuewanhou。

zheigeshihouniyinggaizenmebanni?

zuilijidefangfabianshitigaojiazhi。

ziran，jiazhishiyoubuyiyangtexingde。

jianyieryan，yigerendejiazhinenggoufenchengyingjiazhiheruanjiazhierzhong。

yingjiazhijiushizhinidejingjishili、shenxing、gerenxingweixingqingzheixieyixiliedeyuanyoubiaozhun。

 zheizhongwupinzaijiriyineishimeiyoushenmehenyoukenenggenggaide。yinci ，nizuibixudebianshiqinfenrangzishenderuanjiazhigengzhengui，caiyoukenengranglingyifangzaicigaoduzhongshini。

02那软价值是啥?

aihao、xingqing、qihedu，zheijiushiruanjiazhigouchengde3dayinsu。

dangyigerendezhei3xiangtexinggennigaokuanbiyinghedeqingkuangxia，neimataduinieryan，jiuhuiyouhenqiangdexiyinli。

woxiangxijieshaojileizuikexueyanjiuderuanjiazhitigaoguilv：

01.jianyiluoluguilv。

 jianyiluoluguilv(themereexposureeffect)bianshidajiajiandaoyigerendepinciyueduo，dajiadezaiqianyishizhongjiuyuejuedetashianquanxingde、qinjinde、lejiede。bingleyiyujiangtajiashangdaozishenderichangshenghuodangzhong。

 duiwanhuieryan，heqiannanyouduandiaolianluo，congtaderichangshenghuochedixiaotuibingbingbushiyigehaofangfa。dajiahuanshibixujinliangdetiejinlingyifang，zaitaderichangshenghuoluoluzishen。

 danyaoliuyideshiluoluguilvyiqianyeyoujianyierzi，ruguonijingchangchuxianzaitarenyanqianshi，henyoukenenghuiranglingyifangliuyini、duinizaochenghaogandu。danjiarunibuduanbuduanxinxihongzha、shoujihongzha，naizhishangmenfuwujiuchanbuqing。zongshijiazhonglingyifangduinideyanfan。

02.相似度规律。

 “dajiahuibeiyudajialeisiderensuoxiyinzhu。xinggewaixiangderenxiaixinggewaixiangderen，shoudaowenhuajiaoyuderenbeishoudaoyiyangwenhuajiaoyuderenxiyinzhu，zuopaixiaizuopai。”

——mcpherson，smith-lovin，&cook，2001

 zheileixihaodeyigeyuangushi，2geleisiderengengfeichangrongyigoutongjiaoliu，lejie;gengfeichangrongyigongxiangxianghudejiazhiguan，xianghuzaochengxinrengan。

diergeyuangushi，zaixinlizhuangtaishang，haowuyiwendajiazongshixihuanzishende，dajiadouhuijuedezishendeniantoushiqiadangde。

aiyigeyuzishenleisideren，bianshiyizhongshenfenrentong。

yinci ，zaiwanhuizhongshunshuituizhou，caisuanshixunsulajinliangrenjianjudezuihaoshifangshi。

03.自觉性规律。

nixuyaosikaoyigenanti：weihelingyifanghuiduinisangshixingquaihao?

 youyunizaoyibeilingyifangchedikanchuan，naizhiyouderenzaoyichediyilaigongshengzailingyifang。nibunengjilingyifangchanshengxindecijixingheyiwaijingxi，dangranhuiranglingyifangganjuenishiwuqude，shiwufarangtatidaoxingquaihaode。

shenmejiaoai？yinci ，zaiwanhuizhongyidingyaojilaoneiyangyijuhua——

fujianxiyinlidezuihaoshifangfa，bianshiweichizishen，jianchibuxiezishendeshenghuoxiguan。

youyuliangrenzaiyiqideshijianzhangle，dajiadesuowensuojian、suoxiangsuogan，doushihuijianjiandigangkaishiqutonghua。

 jinguanzheizaiguanlianjiaowangshangshibidingde，yeshiyouxuduo bianjiexing，danshijianzhanglezaisuonanmianzaocheng“youshoulazuoshou”dewuqugan。

 yinci ，ruguonizaiwanhuizhongqufujianxiyinzhudeqingkuangxia，yidingyaojianchizhuzishendeshenghuoxiguan，quduziyirenkanyikanquanqiu，neiyangcaihenyoukenengzaibixudeqingkuangxia，jilingyifangchanshengxindeyiwaijingxihecijixing。

 shenmecaisuanai？yongyouxindecijixing，lingyifanghaowuyiwenhuizaiduduinizaochengzhangwohefajuedechongdong，nidewanhuiyejiuyoujihuile。