爱一个人的理由是什么？拜访对方父母家的几个原则

 jiageishenmerenjiaoweikekao?xuduo kexueyanjiuzhengshi，duizhangqixingqingganweihaijiaoda dehaoduogeyaosushi“jijizhudongquanjuxingdafu”、“fazhanxinlizhuangtai”dengqingshangzhishangyaosu。neimeaiyigerendebiaoxianyounaxieni?xiamianjiugensuixiaobianyiqilaikankanaiyigerendeliyoudewenzhangba。

1发展心理状态VS固定不动心理状态

 gudingbudongxinlizhuangtaijuedeshiqingshiyichengbubiande，yiqieshier，shihebianshishihe，bushihebianshibushihe。tamenjianxin，tanlianaizuizhongyaodebianshi“xunzhaoshihederen”，gongzuozhongzuizhongyaodebianshi“qudeshideoffer”deng。yinci tamenzaoyunantishigengweiquxiangyugenjuzhaoxunlaichuli，erbushigenjuqinfenlaichuli。

 fazhanxinlizhuangtaijuedeshiqingshinenggougenggaide，yiqieshier，shihebushihedaliangdezaiyugerenjiazhi。tamenjianxin，tanlianaizuizhongyaodeshigenjubicideqinfenrangqinggangengqiang，gongzuozhongzuizhongyaodeshiwulunqudenaxieoffer，bagongzuozhongbaozhengdewanmei，rangzishengengweirongru。

 yiner，aiyigerendeliyouyounaxie？dangchuzaitanlianaishifashengzhengzhi，gudingbudongxinlizhuangtaiderenhuixiang：dajiafashengzhengzhi，haowuyiwenshiyouyuwomenbuheshi，ai，ruguozhaodaowodeyinyuanjiuhaole。duitameneryan，zuizhongyaodeqinfenlaiziyuzhuiqiuwanmeidequanguocheng，yidanbalingyifangzhuidao，qinfenjiujieshule。neiyanghunhouzhangjiuyiwang，biciyulaiyuganjuebushihe，yulaiyukanlingyifangbukanbuguan，zhangfuyeyulaiyuganjuetarenjiadexifugengyouyouhuoli。

 eryiyangzaoyumaodun，fazhanxinlizhuangtaidehuixiang：jinguandajiafashengzhengzhi，dandajiahuanshishihede，shiwomenlaiyiqikanyixianaerchulenanti，rangwoxiangxiangwozenyanggaibianxianzhuanghelingyifangyituidongqinggan!duitameneryan，balingyifangzhuidaobingbudaibiaozheqinfendewanbi，erganghaoshizhenshiqinfendegangkaishi。tamenhuibajuedaduoshuhuolizijintourudaotisheng bingtuidongqingganshang，erbushizhaoxunxindeqingganshang。neiyangchijiuzhihou，jibian biciyikaishiyoufenqi，zhihouyehuimanmanbianhexie。

 gudingbudongxinlizhuangtai&fazhanxinlizhuangtaibiaoshuleneiyangyigezhuangkuang：weihetongjifenxifajue，babamamaqiangzhixingdehunyinshenghuozhongguolihunlvgengdi?

 shijishangzheibushiyouyuqiangzhihunyinzaocheng zhongguolihunlvdi，zhishiyouyubeiqiangzhixingdehunyinshenghuotongchangfeichangrongyirangtamenduizheiyihunyinshenghuozaochengfazhanxinlizhuangtai：tamenlejiezishenmeishenmetiaoxuan，yinerchulenantiyebuhuiquxianglingyifangshifouzishenyinyuan，zongshixiangbanfaqujiejuekunnan。

 gudingbudongxinlizhuangtai&fazhanxinlizhuangtaibudanmingxianweihailehunyinshenghuoxingfukuaile，haiweihaileniyizhizaigongzuoshangdezaojiu。

liruyiyangshijiaoshu，dangyitangkemeijianghao——

gudingbudongxinlizhuangtaiderenxiang：ai，laikanwozhenbushijiaoshudeliaoa!

 fazhanxinlizhuangtaiderenxiang：cicibuchenggongzhibuguolinshide，xiangxinwohaishiheshijiaoshude，rangwolaikanyixiaweihechunanti!xiayiciwoshizhexiatianjiaxiaogushiqushouke，huoxushijixiaoguohuigenghaoyixieni~

 yiner，zhenduimeizhidetiyishi：quzhaojuyoufazhanxinlizhuangtaierbushigudingbudongxinlizhuangtaiderenwanhun，duitaeryan，jiangnizhuidaozhibuguozhenshiqinfendegangkaishi，tahuiyibeizigenjuqinfenrangnidaliangyiwaijingxide!

2积极主动全局性答复

 lingyigeshifenguanjiandeyingxiangyinsushilingyifangzenyangdafunidexixun，zheiduiyiqiedezhangqixingqinggandouweihaijida(buzhishihunyin)。

tadedafufangfafencheng“jijizhudongvsxiaochen”he“quanjuxingvsfeiquanjuxing”2gecengmian。

在其中——

jijizhudongdafu：jijizhudongduinidexinxikaizhanyijianfankui，erbushilengmohebuwenbuwen。

xiaochendafu：duinigongxiangdexinxibuwenbuwen。

quanjuxingxingdafu：zhenglianqiejilixingdidafunidexinxi，jinigengweixinxin。

feiquanjuxingdafu：fumianxinxiqieyanlidajixingdidafunidexinxi，jinigengweihuixinsangqi。

 yinerruguonixiabanlehuilaixinggaocailiedigennizhangfushuojinrilaozongrangnijinshengle，nizhangfu4zhongdafufangfade2x2yinliujuzhenshi：

 congzheiyijichulilunhaikeyilejieweishenmewoguoxuduo jiazhongernvguanxiehuale，youyujuyoujianpanxialuojisiwei(jijizhudongfeiquanjuxingdafu)debabamamataiduole。nihuilaixinggaocailiedigenmuqinshuo：“ma!wojintianqudechenggongzhengdelaidaoxiaoyuanneishijiagexingdesaishijiyula!”tamaxuehuifangxiamukuaishuo：“jiangguonijihuile!yitiandaowanzuozheiyi，yebuhaipadangexuexipeixun!woleisileihuogongninianshu，bianshijinizuozheiyide?!nixuyaoxiangyaoquyexing，xianbangwokaoshifenshuchaochugebilinjuxiaominzailiao!”

 aiyigerendebiaoxianshishenme？zhaonanpengyou，qianglieyaoqiuzhaoyigejuyoujijizhudongquanjuxingdafuxiguanxingde。taxinlishangjinidemeiyicifazhankaixin，jibian nijinjindiyicizuofanyibushaohule，tajilinishizheerbushiyanlidajinixinxin。tahuirangnichanshengtianmanshijiyiyideshenghuo，yehuijiniweilaidexiaohaiyuelaiyuegengweixinxin、reqing、yingyongerqiepojuxiangxiangli!