爱情与生活之经常吵架该怎么办？

 aidejiqing，houtaiguanlihenduorensiliaowenwohenanpengyounvyouchangchangzhengchaoyinggaizenmeban。jinrijiulaitanyitanzheigewentila。neimeaiqingyuhunyinyounaxieni?xiamianjiugensuixiaobianyiqilaikankanaiqingyushenghuodewenzhangba。

▼nishinayangmaodunzhonglei?

rutongganggangchangshuo，maodunshilianrengoutongjiaoliudeyiqiezhengchangyibufen，maodunbingbuyidingyiweizheqingganbutaihao。

johngottmanduimaodunzhongleiganlexuduo kexueyanjiu。tafajuekeyiyongsanzhongzhongleilaiguina：

 qifuxing：mudishi“zhengchaoyidingyaoyouyoushi”，“yidingyaorangtagaoqingchuzishendebuzhengque，beigongquxi。“，jiusuanyidiandianxiaoshidoushihuitisheng sangzi，haoxiangshiyichangsaishi。zheiyeshidabufenlianrenmaodunzhonglei。

 huibixing：zheileizhongleibuyidingyiweizhelengbaoli。danbianshihuitaobibijiaomingannanti，aidejiqing，jiaruyouxierenbugaoxing，huoshiganjuefenqichuxian，bicizhongzhitantao，douxiangjiangdizhengchao。

 xiaoyingxing：zheizhonglianrenpengdaobuyiyangjianyideqingkuangxiahuixiezuodiguanlifangfamaodun。youbuyiyangjianyideqingkuangxiahuibiaoshuzishendexintaidanyiranhuiyongwenmingxingweifangshichuli，xixinlingtinglingyifang，suihouyiqixunzhaonantidehezuoxieyi。

 xiaoyingxingxianzhushizuilianghaodegoutongfangfa，kexueyanjiuxianshixinxiyingyongzheileigoutongfangshidelianrenduiguanliandefuwuzhiliangdadadegaoguoqitaerzhongzhonglei。

 danhenyouqudeshi，youyigegenggaodemimizaiqinglvguanxideshenhou。weihexuduo changchangzhengchaodeqifuxinglianrenyehuiduiguanliandefuwuzhilianghengaoni?

dahuoerqingjilaoyigeqimiaodebili——5：1。

 yaoshiqinglvzhongjiandejijizhudonghudongjiaoliu(xiaorong、qiuai、fumo、zanyangdeng)chaochuxiaochenhudongjiaoliude5bei，jibian dajiademaodunzhongleishiqifuxing，yekeyiyoufeichanghaodeguanlian。

yinci ，jiandaozheier，gankuairangnizheiweixiaoyigeba。

(e，nimeiyouzheiwei，neisuanleba。)

▼maodunpinlvgaodeyuangu?

 dangqinglvmeiridoujiluxiangchuguanjiandiandeqingkuangxia，tamenhuibaomeixingqihuichansheng2.3cimaodun(lloyd,1987)。youyixiebubeizhijueherengweizhuyaobiaoxiandemaodunheshengqidadao40%。(roloff&cloven).

1.人格特质

 zaibuyiyangderengeguileizhonghenyoukenenghuijiangbaopiqibiancheng“gaoshenjingdatiao”deren，jiangpiqihaobiancheng“dishenjingdatiao”huoshi“lvzhensuihexing”deren。richangshenghuohaowuyiwenyouyixierenyouqifapiqi，weilegenghaodisuoshiborandanu。

yinci jiarunihuoshinidelingyibanshineiyangdexingqing，aiqingyushenghuo,maodunpinlvtisheng wukebimian。

2.依恋类型

 zhenduichengrendeyikaozhongleiyouanquanxingxing、chenmixing、shuyuanxinghehaipaxing。chenmixing(zhuyaobiaoxianweifeichangrongyidujihefapiqi，nianren)hehaipaxing(zhuyaobiaoxianweidanyou，yishenyigui，xiailengbaoli)derenzaimaodunchanshengshiduiguanliandaozhideweihaiyaochaoguoanquanxingxing。

*zhu：yilianleixingyeshiyouqitaguileifangfa。

 maodunyueduo，yilaijiaolvqingxuhuiyueqiang。yinci jiarunizijishiyouzheierzhongzhuyaobiaoxian，jilao，nimeiyicihelingyifangdongnu、fapiqi，douyeshizaidajiadeguanlianshangkanleyidao。

3.性命环节

 maodundepinlvhenianjiyeshiyouguanlian。shuobaile“nianqingqisheng”，zai18-ershiwusuizhongjiandejuedaduoshulianrenmaodunmingxiantisheng，bingzaiershiwusuideqingkuangxiazuodaodianfeng。

 aiqingyuhunyin,guanlianhuizaishuailaoqiyuelaiyueshifenningjing，xuduo nianqingshidaichaochaonaonaokekebanbandeyuanjialuzhailaidaolaonianrendeqingkuangxiahenyoukenenghuiganjueguanlianmingxiangaishan。