柏拉图式的爱情,我们选择爱人还是选择父母？

 shijieshangdequeyouhenduoxiaojidaigongdebabamama，neitamendexiaohaihaowuyiwenbianshi“shouhaizhe”le。neimebolatushideaiqingshishenmeyisi?xiamianjiugensuixiaobianyiqilaikankanbolatushideaiqingdewenzhangba。

 shubuzhimaiyuanjiatingguanxishimeiyouyiqieyongtude。womenwufaxuanzezijidechusheng，meifaxuanzezijidebabamama。womenwufagaibianxianzhuangdeyiwang，zhiyouyongganmianduiweilai。lejiebabamama，niyuefanengyuzishendegenyuanyouhaoxiangchu，jiuyuenengaitamen，renshengdaolujiuyueshunli。

 nirujinzaoyibushineigewubizaibabamamaguanaixiafazhandexiaohai，zhishigewanshandechengnianren，dannixinlingshenchuhaizhuzheyigeqianqueguanhuai、shifenbufuhe、bukaixindeneizaixiaohai。niyaozaimeiyicijuechadaotadeqingkuangxia，fuweita——ninengbianchengzishenyaoxiangdeneileibabamama，guanhuai、jieshoubingkuanrongnideneizaixiaohai。

 yingduibabamama，nixuyaolejie，tamenruhekandainishitamendeshi，dannizenyangkandaitamenzezaiyuni。xiaojingfumulisuoyingdang，youyushitamenjiangnisongdaozheishijie，jinyouyuzheiyidian，niyejiugaiganxietamen。zhuigensuyuan，zunzhongzijidegenyuan，huijinidexingmingchanshengchuhuyiliaodehuode。

 yigegaoerxueyuangenwoshuo：“xingzhijiaoshi，wofaxianmuqinlaoxiangcaozongrenshengzhilu，buxuzijitiaoxuan，wogaizenmezuo?yaoshijianjiehetabuyiyang，tajiuyouqikuangzao。nandaoshuowoxiangyizhirenxiaquma?”

 woduitashuo：“nikeyidulima?jiarubukeyiduliniyejiutingcong。zhongshitadexintai，youyutajiushinidemama。lingwai，zhaozhiquxiangtoudepenyouyiqigongxiangnidejianjie。”

 babamamasuishuoshengnideren，quemeiyoucaozongnirenshengdaoludezhipeiquan。liangzhezhijiangenjuzhengchaochangshishengsedishuodongtamen，bibushangqujingtongyouchudihuodeshengli——qiantitiaojianshi，nizhenshilejiezishenbixunaxiederenshengdaolu。

 jugelizi，zainimeiyouzhenshidanduyiqian，babamamabianshitouzizhe，erbushihezuohuoban。yigechusedetouzizhe，yingdangmingbaishidangjutizhidaoerbushicaozongyigeqiyedeyunxing，dan“babamama”zheiduitouzizhe，youshijiushinipobudeyizuochudetiaoxuan。nixuyaotamendexiangmutouzi，“shuodong”shiyizhongfangfa，erbukemianduimaodun。

 “dajiashengniyangnifeichangrongyima?bianda，chibangyingle，butingdajiadehuale?”zaiwoshoudaodezixunzhong，guoduohaiziyufumumaodundeshili，tebieshizaitixianzaiwanhunzheigewentishang。xiaohaijiehunduixiangruobuhuishoudaobabamamazhongai，feichangjiandandeshiyuyanmaodun，shenzhiyouyi“duanjuemunvguanxi”、“nigangentawanhun，woyesizainidehunlishang”neiyangdeyanciposhixiaohaijiufan。xuduo babamama(zaiqizhongymamazhanbijiaogao)zaizaiqianyishizhonglijuede：woshengta/tachulai，woyejueceta/taderenshengdaolu，ta/tawubiyizhaowodefangshirichangshenghuo，ta/tashiwanchengwomeinengwanchengdelixianghuahexinyuan。youqishinianqingshishoudaolaogongpanbiandengganqingwaishangdenvshi，zaiyouzhangdeyangyuernvdeshiguangli，gengqidaikeyiyicaokongxiaohairenshengdaoludefangfa，laiwanchengzishenrenshengjiazhi。

 rengyiwanhunmaodunweilizi，youyuneiyangdeshilijiaoweipubian。duixiaohailaijiang，tamenshifentongchu，youyutashizishenxiaidelianren，lingwai，tamenyoubuyuanbeinibabamama。yixiebabamamade“jingshenshizhihehu”(huoxutamenmeiyouyishidao)，yeyouyixielishiyoujiudejiazhiguannianliru“quanbuliyiderenquanshibutaihaode”zheixie，rangnianqingxiaohaipoyougongzuoyali。tiaoxuanlianrenhuanshitiaoxuanbabamama?jingchangbianchengshijishangduoyude“zuizhongmaodun”。xiaohaiyifangmianbuyuanshoubabamamadeluojisiweishufu，yifangmianyouyufazhanneimeduoniansuochanshengdeyikaoluojisiwei，tongchangmeifacongrongjiejue，youqishibabamamade“duzhou”jingchangliaoraoyuerbian，liru“nikankanzhangsanzhaoyigeerhunnanren，xianzaishigenaxiedejieju?nizhihoujiejufeichangcankejiubieyaowo”，xiaohaihaipadanfutiaoxuansuochanshengdezuihou“jieguo”，yedanxinbabamamade“duzhou”lingyan，zheishijishangyegendajiawenhuajiaoyuzhongqueshao“jiehunqiandiyike”henyouguanxi，haipajizijidejieguochengdan。

 zheishijishangshiyizhongziwoanshi，ruonianqingrenzhenzaiyouyubudingzhongjueqingtiaoxuanlezishenyaoxiangdejieguo——neima，zheizhendeshitaqipandejieguoma?tachiyi，tachengdanlejidadejingshenyali，tawufadedaojiarenshiyong，zheileizhuyaobiaoxianyoulingwaigongxiaoyutatiaoxuandehunyinli，daozhiletaduihunyindebuzuxinrengan，ruohunyinzhongdelingyifangyouyulingyifangfumudizhieryuelaiyuexiaochen，jieguozongshifanzuoyongliyuhunyin，congcizhihou，hunyindebeijudedao“lingyan”。

 zenyangfangzhinianqingren“tiaoxuanlianrenhuanshitiaoxuanbabamama”?meiduibabamamayebuqidaiyouneiyangdeyitian。yinci ，zaixiaohaiershiyaoquzhengqueyindaotazijizuotiaoxuan，zishenjizijidejieguochengdan，youyurenshengdaolushitade，bubizongganjuezishenquandoubixiaohaidong，jinerzhiyintaderichangshenghuo，yizhaozishendejiazhiguannianquguidingtazuoshi。zaizheigequanshijie，shenghuoxiguanshiduoyuanhuade，buzhishibabamamadeshenghuoxiguancaijiaoqudechenggongdeshenghuoxiguan。yejiushishuoyouyuzishenshibai，erpinlemingxiangyaoquchuandijihaizizigaozidanenggouqudechenggongdefangshifangfa，poshitabianchengzishenyaoxiangdeneigeren。

 jinyouxuehaotiaoxuanheduijieguochengdan，chengnianrenyihoudexiaohai，caihuizaigongzuozhongyushenghuoshangzhenshimingbaizishenyaoxiangnaxie，jinerbianchengyigexinshenwanshanderen。zheicaisuanshibabamamabaxiaohaisongdaozheiyiquanshijiedeshijiyiyisuoshu。

 bolatushideaiqingshishenmeyisi？duinianqingreneryan，yaoxuehuizunzhongbabamama，keshihaiyaolejie，zhongshidefangfabingbushisuoyoutingcong。zhongshi，yidingyaochuangjianzaiyoudandurenshengguandeqiantitiaojianxia。luojisiweidandu，mingbaiyurengoutong，shidajiarichangshenghuozaizheishijiesuoyaojuyoudegongzuonengli。eryubabamamajiaowangdegongzuonengli，yeshizaiqizhongzhiyi。bubiyouyutamenshiqinren，fandaoyihenkanbudaowaidefangfaduitamencanku。