情感驿站:另一半情绪糟糕时怎么做？

 qingganwentiyouneixieni？jiaruniweijiarenzhunbeichongfenwancan，jingliyilianggexiaoshidemangliu，yiqiejiuxu，qinglvquedaizheyiliandediluodakaidamenkou;jiarunixiabanlakaixinerzhejidiganwangheqinglvyuehaodegouwushangchang，danzaizhengmenkoujiandaotashi，taquefanbukenaidimaoxuewen“nizenmecailai?”neimeqingganxiaowenzhangyounaxieni?xiamianjiugensuixiaobianyiqilaikankanqingganyizhandewenzhangba。

 jiejuezheileiqingxupohuaixingshi，nikeyiruhechulibenshendeqingxu、ruhebangzhulingyifang、bangzhuhuxiangjiejuefuxingdeqingxuhudongjiaoliugoutongjiaoliuni?

 youyigechenghushi：zaizaiqianyishizhongzhong，dahuoerwubiyonglianrenlaichulifuxingdeqinggantiyan。qingganwentiyouneixieni？zheijuhuakeyicongliangfangmianlijie：

 yifangmian，shidahuoerhuiqianzaidixunzhaoyigekeyichengzaibenshenduiyujialidepanwangyulijiede“lixiangduixiang”，ta/tashenzhiyixiecengmianhuixiangwomenzijidefumu，huoshiyuanlaijializhongdemouyichengyuan。danshizaixindefuqiguanxili，burongzhiyiyouyixiediyu，shidahuoerhenbumanyi，panwanglingyifangqubiangengde。jiezhepaichilingyifangdeyixiexinggetedian、shenghuoxiguan，shizherangbenshenyibuganjuezhiqianzaiqinziguanxilichengshoubuqideganjue。

 lingyifangmian，bianweilingyifangdelianrenheqinglv，dahuoerjiuwubimouyifangmianbanyanlingyifangqingxudechitideyouxijiaose。lingyifangqingxutaiyongdongle，jiuwubiweilingyifanglinshixing“xushui”，erlingyifangqingxumamu、meiyoucengciganshi，youwubiweilingyifangdaoru“jinghuashui”，ranghuxianghudongjiaoliugoutongjiaoliuqilai。zheileiyouxijiaosebianweiyizhongzhongdan、yizhongzhongyaoxingdetixian。

 neibanlaikan，erzhongzhuangkuangdoubuneimeqingsong，neimedanglingyifanghuohuxiangdehudongjiaoliugoutongjiaoliuchuyuqingxuzaogaodeqingkuangxia，zaizheiqizhongqingxudezerenrenliyingzhuyixieshenme，nenggoujinxingqingxudediaojie、zuodaofuxingqingxutihuidejichudaixieni?

 yingguodexinlizixunzhuanjiawenniketemingquezhichuyigejichuzhishi：zaishejiaoxinggoutongjiaoliuzhonggoujian“baochixinghuanjing”，youyiyuxinlideyuliaohefazhanqushi。cuxindayishi，dangyigechuyuqinggancuozhe、wubibangzhuderenruguokeyiyudaoqinggandekeyong、lijie，duiyuzheiyilinshixing“haiziqi”derenqufaxieqingxu、diaojieyurenxiangchudeshizhenengjiyukuanrongheguanhuai，neimezheigerenyijuyiduanshijiandediaozheng，huicongjiaolvqingxuqingxu、youyuzhengyijiqifenzhongzouxiangshijie，erqiexinlihuiyinweizheileihuanjingdezhaoguerhuode fazhanqushi。zheiyihuanjingjiuchengzuo“baochixinghuanjing”。

 wenniketedezheiyikanfabeiguangfandiyingyongyuxinlishudao、ertongjiaoyu、zhenzhi，naizhishangyeshangtaodenglingyu。yinweicongshehuishijianhuodongzhongdajiafaxian，baochixinghuanjingdeshixingbingbuyidingjiageangguidejijianxiangmuhuaxiao、wuxutebieshizaifuzadeshouxunzhuangkuang。neimetangruoyingyongdaojialili，zaifuqiguanxizhongyouwubiquebaoshenme，cainenggoujubei“baochi”detedian、bianweibaochixinghuanjingni?zheiliyouyixiejutidejianyi：

diyi、bufouren、bujujuelingyifangdangxiadeqingxu。

 yigangkaishiweishili，suiranniyizhizaijiazhonghenjiankudezhunbeichongfenlewancan，danshiqinglvqingxuqueshizhengchuyudiluodezhuangkuang，neime，wuxufourenta/tadeqingxu“meishenme”、“yihuierjiuhaole”，yewuxuchizelingyifang“you”dangxiadeqingxu。shizhelijielingyifangzhenshidichuyuyizhongbutaishufudeqingxuzhong，quguanzhudaota/tadangxiadeqingxutihui，qujienazheileiqingxudecunzai。shizhequzhangwo：“kanqilai，niyixieqingxubudahao，shibushiyaoxianghewotanyitanni?”

dier、wuxuzhuguantuilihewangxiang，ershizhequwenyiwenzhenshideqingkuang。

 “taburongzhiyishizaigongsibeilingdaorenyuanmale，yaonawopaiqi;huozhexianwozuowanmeiyoujitashoujichonghaodian，guzuogaoshenni;huozhechengfawojinzaochudamenkoushoushidongxizitaiman，shitazhelianmanghuangdiwanggongsigan……”。zaidajiachuyuzheileizhuguanxiangxianghexintaidemibishizhuangkuangshi，wufakandaolingyifangzhenshideganshouyuzhuangkuang。

 defangshi，shiwenhediwenyiwen：“bujiudengzhejile?zenyanghaoxiangdaizheqingxuni?”yexuzheidequeyixienan——jiejuelingyifangjiyudeqingxuyali，haiyaoxuehuifangqibenshen，erxianguanzhulingyifang——danshi，“chiti”jiushiwubilinshixingdijianfuyixialingyifangyongdongerchengdeqingxu。eryidantadeqingxujingxialai，lingyifanghuixinhuaiganen，huxiangguanxiyehuitisheng 、guanxidenaishouxingyehuitigao 。

第三、仔细的倾听与情感的关注。

 zaibenshennengxuehuifangqixiangxiang，qingganxiaowenzhang,erguanzhuyulingyifangdezhenshihou，lingyifangyibanhuiyougushiyaojiang，cike，zixitingzhejiukeyile。jiezhebatingdaodeqinggan，fankuiyijianjita，yexuneiyeshitaqianquelijieheguanzhude，yinweitashi“dangjuzhemi”。

 birutashuoqi：“zheigeyuexiaoshouebudahao，erqiebingbingbushiwobudahao，shixiezuozudebudahao，suoyiwoshibeilianleizhe，zheiyitaoyandejixiaokaohefangshi，zhuoyuetuanduinengbaozhengshi，dajiadoukaixin;erwozijizuodechongyuhao，fanyinweitarendeqingkuangertuoleishi，zhenshibuduijing……”。jinliangbuduankaita，jiusuan tajiangdaodejiduanzhuyi、pianmianhua，naizhibuhenkeguanxingdoubuyaojin，zuiguanjianshitayaojiangyijiangcuozhedeganshou，dannidepeibanshiyizhongjudadeanweiyuguanhuai。

 dengtajiangwan，keyishizhejianduandifankuiyijiantadeqingxu，“tingqilai，nizijinengdadaomubiao，benlaishihenshifenfeichangzhidekaixinde，danshiyinweilishuxiezuozuqitachengyuandenandian，shanghaigandaoni，yiner nihenhanxin、yeshiyouyixiechizetamen。yinweihaodezhuangkuangxiakanbuchulai，chuxiannandianshi，nishikelingdeshouhaizhe。zheirangnihennanshou。xianrujingaozhiwojiang，youmeiyouganjuehaoyixiele?”

第四、为另一方的体会提高顺向的解读。

 danglingyifangdeqingxudedao zhaogu，jianjiandihuifupingjingshi，tangruonikeyifaxianta“xinsizhong”deshejigousi、xiangfa，erqieninengtigonggengquanmianxingdelijie，keyishizhegaosuta，zhongguini“pangguanzheqing”。

 biru“wojuedenijiranbenshenkeyidabiao，shizhebazijidejingyanfenxiangchuqu，rangdajiaheniyiqiyouyi，yaobinineibanchizetamengengnengjiejuewenti，zhongguidahuoerzhiqiantuanjiexiezuohaishitinghaode。qingganyizhan:yexushizuijindegongzuofangmian，tamenwubiyixiebangzhuni?yexudajiacishiyetingbuhaoyiside，lianleileni，nijiarunengfenyongxiangqian，huodadaduyixie，yexuyihoujiuzaibuzaocheng，yesuanhandanxuebule。henyoukenengdajiayinciergengjianshangnidexiediaogongzuogongzuonengli、zhuanyenengli”。zaimeiyigeqingxubeihou，quanshihuiyouyigerennaizhizhuoyuetuanduidexianshiyiyi，youshihou，qingxutihuiguoduotongku，rangbeishangsurenchengshoubuqi，yiner linshixingkanbudao、kanbuqingchu。