恋爱心理学 首因效应

 qingganxinlizixun，ganqingzhenduihenduoreneryan，shuobuqingchuyedaobuming。tahenhuiweiwuqiongdishiwomenmeiyigerenchangzhe，tadailaidajiachanshengbuyiyangdeweier。yeyexumeiyigerendeganqingweidaoquanshibuyiyangde，jiusuanshizaitongyiduanganqingzhongyitonglijingderen，tamendetihuidoubutongyang。neishiyouyudaliangderendaoganqingzhongzhanqideshijiaobuyiyang、tourushiduoshaobuyiyang、youhuoshishenaiyuaiyebuyiyang，cairangdajiadetihuidoubuyiyang。lianaixinlixue，dandaliangrenqidaideshiganqingkeyizhangqi、xingfukuaile、xiangzhezishenqidaidefangweifazhanqushi。bingbingbushiyingduiganqingzhongdefenqiyuwuqiwei，yizhichuyukunaohebuyukuaizhong。neishiyouyuxuduorendaochuangjianganqingyihou，bingmeiyouliuyiguoduodeganqingxinlijiankangwentinanti，jiaruniyaorangzishendeganqingtiwenhexingfukuaile，jiubixuxianliuyixialiesandian。

第一点：首因效应

 henduorendoulejie“diyiyinxiang”shirenherenzhijianlejiexiangchuzuizhongyaodediyigemianduijuede。keshizaishehuixinlixueshangtahaikeyibeichengzuoweishouyinxiaoying。zairenjijiaowangzhongdiyiyinxianghuoshidiyiyinxiang，erzaiganqingzhongzhenduixiangchudelianggereneryandiyiyinxiangjiukeyiyongshehuixinlixuedeshouyinxiaoyingeryan。

 shouyinxiaoyingjiushizhiganqingzhongshuangfangzaidiyicijiejiaoshichanshengdeyizhongxinlizhuangtaijuede，tafeichangdadiweihailenannvzaiganqingzhongjiandeguanlian。jiarudahuoerhuoshimeiyoulejieshouyinxiaoyingdehua，dajiahaikeyiyongchangshuodeyijuhualairenzhinenglizheiyiguanlian，neibianshi：“zhuguanyiduan”。

 qingganxinlizixun，jiarushiwomencongnanhaihenvhaiganqingzhongdeshehuixinlixuelaibiaoshudehua，youliangdediyiyinxiangbingbujinshidajiajuedede，ganglejieshilianggerenzhongjianshenzhongdeyantanjuzhi。yeyoudaliangdeshi：jianghuashiderentixingwei、jianghuashidelianbuqingxu、jiqijianghuashideyudiaoheshengyinsududengxuduoguanjiandiancengmian。

 tangruoshuo，jiazhongrangnifenpeileyichangxiangqinyuehui，niyaozainvhaixiangqinshijilingyifangneixinliuyouyigefeichanghaodeyinxiang。neimanibudanchukaiyaojibenshenzhenglidehenzhengjiezhiwai，haixuyaoliuyizaihelingyifangjianghuashi，liuyibenshendeyantanjuzhizheixiexuduoguanjiandiancengmianyaozhuyaobiaoxianchudedangqiewenminglimaodemoyang。

 jiarushuonishinanxingdehua，jiuxuyaozhanshichunanzihanqipodehuodayushenshi，neiyanglingyifangcaihuirangnidediyiyinxiangshangliuyoufeichanghaodejuede。ziran，ruguonishinvxingdehua，zaiyudiyicibaijianshichukaiyaoweizijizhenglidehenjingmei，henmeizhiwai，haixuyaozailingyifangyanqianweichizhewenwanmiantiandemoyang，neiyangxuduonanxingdoushihuizaidiyiyinxiangshangbeinixiyin。

 shijishangjiuzheiyang，xuduorendaodiyicijianmianshi，keyijilingyifangneixinliuyouhenhaodeyinxiang。neimazaiwanghoumianlianggerendeganqingzhongbianhuiyoumaixiafubihaodejiben，budanjuedenishiyigefeichanghaojiaowang、huoshiyigefeichangzhidexinlaideren。fanguolai，jiaruniyizhizaidiyiyinxiangzhongmeiyoujilingyifangneixinliuyouhenhaodeyinxiang，lingyifanghenyoukenengyikaishidouhenpaichinizheigeren，jiusuandajialianggerenzairihouchulemubiao。keshizailingyifangneixinniyiranshiyigebuzhixinlaiyishengderen。

 suoyishuodajiayibanzhide“yijianzhongqing”shijishangyeshi“shouyinxiaoying”zhongdeyizhongzhuyaobiaoxian。tajuecelewomenzaiwanghoumianlianggerenzhongjianganqingdejuedaduoshuyaosu，yeshixuduonanxingpengyouqianxinwankuzhaoxiabulaimubiaozuixianyaojiuzhengdenanti；yeshixuduonanxingpengyouzaixiangqinyuehuipengmianshi，qudechenggongdediyiyinsu。

第二：错觉动心

 jianxinhenduonanshengzhuinvshengnvshengshi，huitiaoxuanlingyifangyiqiquzuoguoshanche、qukankanjingsongdianying、huoshiwanermishitaoshengdengjiaoweiyouquweixingdezhutihuodong。jiusuanlianggerendouhaimeilaidaoganqingjiaoweishendeqinglvguanlian，keshinvshengzaizaoshoucijixingyugongzuojingyanshifeichangrongyijijilazhunideshou、lanzhunideshoubei、naizhishijinbaoni。

 bingfeishiquanbudenvshidoushihuiganjuezheileigerenxingweishibenshenganyuandegerenxingwei。zhishiyouyudangyigerenzhishenzaihunanmibishi、tixindiaodan、huanjuhuashuoshitixinlvdanneiyangdanxindeziranhuanjinglishi，xinlifeichangrongyibazijizheileixintiaojiasude“jiaxiang”，lejiechengshixiailingyifangdejuede，shijishangtashixinlihaipazaochengdeyizhongxiayishi。

 erzheileifanyingzaishehuixinlixueshangyebeichengzuo“diaoqiaoxiaoying”。shuobailediaoqiaoxiaoyingzhidebianshiruguonizaizaoyufengxianshi，xinlidehaipacujinrentineideshenshangxianjisuxunsudaixie，bianhuizaochengxintiaojiasu。erzheigeshihouxuduonvshihuiwuyiweidiaoqiaoxiaoying，shiduiniyouhaogandezhuyaobiaoxian，shijishangneijinjinyiqiezhengchangdeshenglixuyao。

 yincizheiyeshiweishenmexuduohenhui“liao”denanhaiziweishenmehuiyouzishenxiaidexiaonvhaiquertongyoulechangwanchuizhiguoshanche、kanjingsongdianyinghuoshishitaotuomishideyuangu。tamennenggouxiangzaidianshijilineibanweihushenpangdexiaonvsheng，neiyangchukaijitamenchongzudeguishuganzhiwai，hainenggouyunyongdiaoqiaoxiaoyingde“cuojue”laituidonglianggerenzhongjiandeguanlian。

 keshiyibufennanhaizihenxiangyaozairenduoyanzadegonggongchangsuolixiangnvshenglangmanqiuhun，tamenxinlikenengshiqueshixiangqulingyifang，yexushixiangyao“diaoqiaoxiaoying”ranglingyifangzaizhuduorenyanqianyuanyizishendelangmanqiuhun。jinguanzaibierenyanqianneiyangdezuofadequeshihenlanman，keshizaixuduonvshiyanzhongjiarudajialianggerenzhongjiandeganqing，meiyouzuodaoneiyangdezhuangkuangxiabubiquzuoneiyangguodubulizhidexingwei。

 jinguanxuduonvshihuiyouyu“diaoqiaoxiaoying”，zaizhuduorenyanqianxinlvjincu，keshiwanhunzhenduihenduoreneryanshiyibeizideshi。bingbuxiangtanlianaiyiyang，bixugengweidianliangnimenliangzhongjiandeganqing，shibushifeichangzhidebierennvhaibazijidehoubanbeizijiaojini，jiarutazaimeiyouyaoxiangdeqiantitiaojianxiafeichangrongyihuijueni。suoyishuoyidingyaozaiganqingyouyidingjibenshangcaikeyiyonggongranlangmanqiuhunzheiyizhao，yaoburandaozuizhongnankandezongshishizishen。

第三点：成本费消費

 changyandao：“zhiqianniuchehenyuan，xinjianbijiaoman，yishengzhigouaiyigeren。”nenggoukandechuzhiqianrenduiganqingdeqipanyuxiwangshishifendechongjingyuxiangshou。erbansuizheshehuifazhandefazhanqushiyufazhan，rujindeganqinghaoxiangzaojiuchanshengdebianhua，xuduonianqingrenganjuezaiganqingzhongshiwubiyouchengbenfeixiaofeide。

 erzuikaishidechengbenfeixiaofeiyuanyushehuijingjixue，zhideshihuodexiangpipeideshiqinghuoshiwupinyaoyongxiangduiyingdechengbenfeiquhuode，zheierdechengbenfeinenggoushuochengqiancai、shijiawujiandeng。errujinganqingdechengbenfeixiaofeibaohandewupinshifenduo：qian、lipin、shijian、ganqingzheixie，henduodongxiquanshinianqingrenzaiganqingzhongwubihaofeide。

 biru：juedaduoshuzaixiaodaxueshengxiaoyuanneichuduixiangshi，huiweilegenghaodiquyuenvshengtiaoxuanyongzishendelinghuaqianjilingyifangxiaofei，huoshishizishendalinggongquyangmubiao，qiahaoshiyongyourujinneiyangyizhongdahuanjingdepubiancunzai，caiyongyouzaiwangshanghenjifengdeyiduanhua：“nanhaiziyichumubiao，quanqinshigensuihexibeifeng。ernvshengyichumubiao，quanqinshichibaochuannuan。”

 zheishiyouyutamenlejie，zaiganqingzhongweilegenghaodihuodenvxingdexiaiherentong，bixutamenquweilingyifangzuoyixieranglingyifangdadonghuoshiduinvshenghaodeshi，zheicaihuihenduodexiangmutouziqiancai、yeyoushijian、ziranyeyouzuizhongyaodeganqingjilingyifang。zheizhongwupinrengranbianchengledangjindahuanjinggaoduixiangdewubiriyongpin。

 qiahaoshiyouyuxuduorendaoganqingzhongxiaofeilexuduodechengbenfei，zaochengzishenzuizhongyuebuyuansheqizheiyiduanganqing。tongchangxuduoganqingbingbingbushilianggerenyiyanjiuhuiyoude，zhishiwomenzairichangrichangshenghuorijiyuelei，duilingyibantourudeyuedacaiyoudezheileinanyiladuandeganqing。jianxinxuduoyehuiduizheiyiganqingdechengbenfeixiaofeiyouyixiemeiyandelejiele。

 dajiahuizaixuduodianshijuzhongjiandao，nanyihaoyunvyihaoqinaidedeqingjie，juedaduoshuquanshixingfukuailedemowei，danyeshiyouyixiejiongyideyingjuhuixuanyonggouxuejuqingdemoweiqujieshu，rangxuduoguanzhongmenkanlehouhendeyayang。shijishangzheiyekenengshidianyingdaoyanyouyigaixiedezheileijuqing，weidebianshirangfensimencongdianshilianxujuhuoshidianyingzhongganshoudaotamenzijideganqingxiankuang，zhenxizijideganqing。

总结

 lianaixinlixue，xuduonianqingrenzaizishendeganqingzhonggaobudongzhenzhenzhengzhengdeganqingdaodishinaxiedejieding，henduonanhaizijuedezaiganqingzhongjiaoguanlingyifangjiukeyiranglingyifangganshoudaozishendeqingyi，renweineiyanglingyifangjiukeyizhangqidiliudaozishenshenbian。shijishangneiyangdeniantouqishidianshihaode，danshizishenmeiyouzhenzhenzhengzhengdiganwudao，zhenzhengdeaiqingbixulianggerenquyitongyunying、weihubaoyangde，yigerendeqinfenzuihoudadongdezhiyoushizishen。yinciyaolejiezishendeganqingnanti，lianggerenjiaduogoutongjiaoliucaikeyirangzheiyiduanganqingzhangqidexingfu、xingfukuailexialai。