挽回咨询：老公应该怎么挽回婚姻

　　laogongyinggaizenmewanhuihunyin，zaizhongyuanshilizixunzhong，jianguohenduohunyinshenghuolaidaojuedideyike：yifangtielexinyaoliqu，lingyifanghanleiqiuwanliu，quezhishibalingyifangtuigenggaogengyuan。dan32suipanyuxin(biming)yongqinshentiyanzhengshi：hunyinzhongde“juedi”，tongchangyinzangzhezhuanzhe。danglaogongshoulinazhexiehaoledelihunxieyishu，shuo“bicizhijianzaoyimeiganqingle”shi，tabingmeiyoushengsilijie，ershizhongyuanhunyinzixunshilanbingdebangzhuxia，yongsangeyuedeshijianye，rangjijikeweidehunyinshenghuozaicitiwen。

　　一、七年婚姻生活，输给了理所应当

　　panyuxinhezhangfuxiezichen(biming)jiehunqinian，congdaxueshengqinglvdaochuruzhichangfufu，cengjingshiqinpenghaoyouyanzhongde“bangyang couple”。kebuzhicongshenmeshihouqi，rizirutongyibeiwentunshui，meiyouleweidao。

　　“tazongshuowotainianren，kewozhixianglejietazaiganmaa。”panyuxinzuikaishixiangbumingbai，meitianxiangfashefazuotaxihuanchidecai，haijidequanbudeaihao，youshihouweilezhaogujiaren，xuanzefangqijinshengkongjian，zenmejiuchengletayanzhongde“yali”?

　　fenqishiyixiezichentiaocaokaishi。xinzhucegongsijiaojiyingchou，tahuiqudeshizhangyulaiyuwan，youshihoushenzhicheyebugui。panyuxindejiaolvxiangzacaoyiyangmengzhang：nvshenghuifantadetongxunjilu，huidaotayebuguisushilianhuaicall，huidaotachenmowuyanshixunwen“nishibushibuaiwole”。

　　“wozijizuozheiyiqiedoushiyinweizaihutaya。”panyuxinbiequdeshuo。keta“zaiyi”，zaixiezichenkanqilaizeshi“caozong”。tajiukaishiduoqilaita，huijiayihouyaobuzuozaidiannaoqian，yaobuhuhudashui。youyicipanyuxinfaxiantaweixinshangyouyigebeizhumingcheng“yangjie”deren，liaodehenjingchang，taxianchangfahuo，xiezichenquedandandishuo：“nikebukeyichengshudian?neijiushihezuozhe。”

　　zhengzhibianchengjiachangfan。zhidaoneitian，xiezichencongchoutiliquchulihunxieyishu，yudiaoningjingdegenzaijiang“jintiantianqibucuo”：“panyuxin，dajiafenkaiba。wozhendeleile，zheizhongrizimeifaguole。”

　　panyuxinshijiehongrandaotale。takuzhewenweihe，xiezichenjiushuo：“niguoyuyilaiwola，woganjuechuanbuguoqi。womendouyinggaisuiyi。”tayaoqiqiuzaikankan，kewangzhetayanzhongdeguoduan，buxiangshuotaiduoyouyanleguoqu。

　　二、遇上重圆：原先难题没有在“有多爱”，但在“咋会”

　　zuichuyizhou，panyuxinbazijiguanzaiwuzili，fanyebuchi，juedoubushui。babamamaquanshuo“nanrenbianxinlejiubieliule”，haopengyoumaxiezichen“wuqingwuyi”，keshitaxinlimingbai：zheifenganqingli，zishenbingbushimeishenmeguoshi。

　　“woshibuganxinsheqi，danwobuzhiruheshihao。”huaizhezuizhongyisixiwang，panyuxinzhaodaozhongyuandelanbingjiaoshi。diyicizixunshi，takulejiangjinliangxiaoshi，baqinianhunyinzhongdebiequ、buganxinhedanyouyigunaodaoxiaquchuqu。

　　lanbinglaoshimeiyoujiyuji“wanhuijiqiao”，fanershirangtazuoleyifenhunyinshenghuopingdingwenjuandiaocha。kanjianwenjuandiaochazhongdenanti——“nishibushichangchangba‘wodoushiweinihao’guazaizuishang?”“nizuijinyicidulihepengyoujuhuishishenmeshijian?”“nishuochuzhangfusangezuijindekunraoma?”——panyuxinshayanle。

　　“henduorendouyiweihunyinzoudaojintoushiyouyu‘ruguobuaile’，dan90%deqingkuangjiushi‘aicuolefangfa’。”lanbingjiaoshizhixiangwenjuandiaochajieguoshuo，“nijiang‘touru’dangzuole‘caozong’，ba‘yikao’dangzuole‘qinmiwujian’，ernizhangfugengxuyaodeshiyigenengbingjianqianxingdebanlv，bingbushixuyaoshikebeichongaidexiaohai。”

　　zheihuaxiangqiaojingzhongyiyangqiaoxinglepanyuxin。tahuranxiangqi，zhangfubuzhiyicicengjingshuoguo“nikebukeyiyouzijideshiqingzuo”，keshitazongshiyiweineijiushi“kanbushang”;tacengjingjianyilibaitianfenbiehepengyoujuhui，taquerenwei“tashixiangbikaiwo”。yuanxianzheixiebeitahushidexiaoxijie，zaojiuyinzangzhehunyinshenghuodeliefeng。

　　“wanliubingbushiqiqiuhuiguotou，ershitongguotazhongxinlejieyigefeichangzhideaideni。”lanbinglaoshidemingyan，rangpanyuxindinglexin。yushijuedinggenzhelaoshijutizhidao，yidiandiangenggai——buyi“xiyinta”，zhiqiugaomingbai“hunyinshenghuodaodiyinggaizenmeyunying”。

　　三、第一步：终止“纠缠不清”，给关联放开

　　“xianzaidetaduiyunidedichuganshizu，jiuxiangyigenbeituodaojizhidepijiner，niyueshiyongjingzhuai，duandeyuekuai。”lanbingjiaoshijidediyigetiyi，shi“jieshouxiankuang，zhongzhijiuchanbuqing”。

　　zheihuiduipanyuxineryanzhendehennan。taxiguanmeitianjixiezichenfaxiaoxi，xiguanxingtayebuguisushixunwenxingji，kelanbinglaoshishuole：“nixuyaorangtamingbai，nijieshou‘fenlilizhi’detiyi，weitazugoudeshijian。”

　　panyuxinyaojinyazhaozuole。xiezichenbandaoxiaoshufangshuideneiyitian，tameiyouku，jinjindandingdishuo：“wozunzhongnidejueding，dajiadouxiangqingchu。”xiezichenshayanle，dayuexiangbudaonvshenghuineime“xianghupeihe”。

　　jiexialairizi，panyuxinbuhuizaizhudongzhaota，tayebuguisushitabuzaitongdianhua，naizhizaiyoushihoutidao“lihun”shi，zhibuguoshishuo：“dengwomendouxiangmingbailezaishuo。”

　　laogongyinggaizenmewanhuihunyin，yikaishi，xiezichenshijingtide，renweitazai“yuqingguzong”。kedabangeyueyiwang，panyuxinzhendemeiyouzaijiuchanbuqing——taanshishangxiaban，shuangxiurihaopengyouguangjiegouwu，naizhibaoxianzhiduonianlaideyujiapeixunban。youyicixiezichenshenyehuijia，kanjiantawuzidenghailiangzhe，lamenjinlai，kandaotazhengzuozaidiannaoqianxueshineisheji(neishitahunqianaihao)。

　　“ni……”xiezichenxiangshuodianshenme，youyanleguoqu。panyuxinyangtoudandanxiaodao：“haimeishui?xubuxuyaohexierenai?”yudiaozirandexiangzijizhishiqugebidefangjiannaleyigewupin。

　　hunyinzixunlanbinglaoshishuole，zheiyibudeguanjianzaiyu“helixingcongqiandegerenxingwei”。panyuxinzhihouzaiyicixiezichenjijidashanshi，dishengshuo：“zhiqianzongchanzheni，shipashiquni，kemeixiangdaojiangnibidetaijinle。xianzaixianglai，wodequeguoyuyilaini，lianzijirichangshenghuodoumeiyoule。”meiyouyuanyan，bingmeiyouchize，jinyoupinghedesikao。xiezichentinghou，chenmowuyanlehaojiu，shuoleyiju：“douguoqule。”