婚姻怎么挽回犯错

　　hunyinzenmewanhuifancuo，“zuijinhuijialeyulaiyuwan，huayejiushaole”“dajiaweilezhuanqian/xiaohai/laonianrenchaoleyicici，rujinlianjiayelandechaole”“tashuodao‘taileile，buxiangjixule’……”

　　shibushiganjuezheixiechangjingtebieshuxi?yiqianneigeshuo“yibeiziaizheni”deren，rujinquexianglurenyiyang。niqideshuibuzhejue，fanbianshoujizhao“wanliugonglvedaquan”，keyuekanyuejuedehuang——youderenshuo“sipilailian”，youderenshuo“lengzhanlizhi”，xuannageyouyong?

　　biezheji!jintianzanmenjiulaodianzhijiede——ganqingpoliebingbushi“quanqiumori”，fanershi“guanxishengji”dejihui。bawozhei5gegaojiwanliufa，wuxudiweiqiuhe，hainengrangtajijihuiguotou，naizhibiandegengaizheni!

　　一、先“刹车踏板”再“修汽车”：终止“犯二式挽留”，不要让矛盾激化

　　xuduoganqingpoliehou，diyifanyingshi“gankuaiwanjiu”——liruwanmingfaxinxizhiqian、songliwuquyue、zhaoqinpenghaoyouquanhe，naizhiguixialaidaoqianrencuo……jieguo?lingyifanggengbunaifanle，naizhiweixinlahei，wanquanmeiyoujihui。

　　weihe?ruguonizai“xintaidianfeng”shiqiangzhiwanliu，dengtongyuwanghuozhongpoyou。tarujinduinichansheng“xiaojiqingxupslvjing”(liruxinhan、naonu、yanfan)，nideyiqie“taojinhu”dounengbeijieducheng“bieyouqingqumudi”huo“buzhihuigai”。

　　zhengquedezuofa：xian“chachetaban”，jiduifang1-2zhoulengqueqi。ninengfayitiaojianduanxinxi：“zuijinwomendouhenlei，xianlengjingjitianba。wobingbushijianchibuxiaqu，zhixiangqingxuhuanjiehou，haohaoheniliaoyiliao。”(guanjianhuanjie：bujiujie、buchize，zhibiaoshu“womenxuyaolizhi，danbuyuanfangqi”dexintai)

　　zaizheiqijianbieqiaoqiaofantaweixinpengyouquan、biezhaogongtongpengyoudatanxiaoxi，gengbiefa“beishangxiaoduanwen”——ni“yizhi”huishitaganjue“nizhongyuyuelaiyuedongshi”，fandaohuihaoqixin“nijiujingzaixiangxieshenme”。

　　二、挖“症结”比“致歉”更为重要：寻找婚姻破裂的“关键分歧”

　　xuduofuqizhengchaohou，huishuo“duibuqi”“wogai”，danwen“cuozaina”“ruheshezhi”，quetuntuntutushuobuqing。wanliudezhongyaobingbushi“anfuzhuta”，fanershi“chulizaochenghunyinpoliedebenzhiwenti”。

　　举例说明：

　　jiaruwomenlaowei“qian”zhengchao，biejiushuo“wojianglaibuluanhuaqianle”，yaoshuo：“niyiweiwoshenmexiaofeiguannianshinimeiyouanquangan?kebukeyiyiqiliegejiatingyusuan?”

　　jiaruwomenyin“hushilingyifang”shengshu，biejiushuo“wojianglaiduopeizheni”，yaoshuo：“nixiwangwonengzenmeyangcainengrangniganjuebeiguanzhu?jiushimeitianshuozaoanwanan，huoshilibaitianyiqizuofan?”

　　jiaruwomenyin“poxiguanxi”lengbaoli，biejiushuo“wozhannizheibian”，yaoshuo：“niyiweiwoshenmezuofarangniganjuebeiweiqule?kebukeyiyiqiyulaorengoutongjiaoliujiexian?”

　　guanjianhuanjie：yong“shijiwenti+shijijiejuefangfa”qudai“pianmianhuafuwuchengnuo。yekeyishuo：“wosikaolehaojiu，zhiqiannidebingwoyemeiheniyiqiquyiyuanmenzhen，shiyouyuwozongganjue‘suoshinigaodeding’，danhushileniyexuyaojiezhu。zhihounidebing，woyidinghuijuesuoyoushipeizheni，nikankanzheiyangxingma?”(shijishiqing+sikao+xingweifuwuchengnuo**)

　　dangtakanjianni“queshidongnantizainaer”，erfei“suiyihongjiju”，cainengjianxin“cicinizhendekeyigai”。

　　三、“同理心”比“讲理”有用100倍：让TA感觉“你在乎我”

　　fuqizhengchaoshi，zuijingchangjiangdehuashi：“nikebukeyijiangxiedadaoli?”“wozheiyangzuobushiweizheigejia!”……danjiaconglaidoubushi“jiangdaoli”dequyu，fanershi“shuoqing”dequyu。dangtaqingxubengkuishi，niyueshijiangli，tayuefajuede“nigenbenbuzaiyiwodeganjue”。

　　zhengquedezuofa：yong“tonglixinsibufa”fuweita：

　　fanfutaqingxu：“nirujinyidingtebieweiquba?”(lirutamaiyuan“nicongbuguanjiaohaizi”，yekeyishuo：“womenmeitianyouyaoqushangbanlehaidedaihaizi，dequeleidegouqiang。”)

　　renketafuchudenuli：“niweilezheigejiafuchuletaiduo，wokanzaiyanli。”(biejiushuo“xinkula”，yaojuti：“nimeitianzaoshangzuozaodian，yelifudaozuoye，doubiwoleideduo。”)

　　biaodanideganshou：“woyiqianmeiyouyishidaonideyali，guaiwotaicuxindayile。”(bietaobizeren，liru“wojiuleia”，fanershichengrenzijibugou)

　　mingquetichuxingwei：“zhihouwomenyiqifentan，birushuowochengdanlibaitiandaihaizi，nixiuxiliangtian，zenmeyang?”(jita“qidai”)

　　举一个真实故事：

　　youyiweilaopomaiyuanlaogong“zongjiabanjiadianmeihuijia”，laogongmeibianbo，zhishishuo：“womingbainijinqiyigerendaiwa、zhufan、shoushiwuzi，haowuyiwenleidaobuhao(fanfuxintai)。nizhiqianneimeaiguangjie，zuihouliangoumaiyifudoumeiyoushijian(renketouru)。guaiwotaixiangduozhengdianqian，hushilenijianxin(biaodaganshou)。neiyang，wojianglaimeizhousan、liuzhundianxiaban，peizhenihebaobaochifan，libaitianwomenyiqiqushengtaigongyuan，keyima?(mingquetichuxingwei)”

　　laopoxianchangjiukule，shuo：“wobingbushiyuannizhengqian，shihaipaniganjue‘wozhihuidaiwa，meishiyongjiazhi’……”

　　nikankan，dangtaganjue“nizaihuwo”shi，quanbudebaoyuandouhuichengwei“wozhendexuyao”。

　　四、“复建吸引住”比“死皮赖脸”高端：让TA重新爱上你

　　xuduolianggerenjiehunshijianzhangle，rongyixianru“laofuqi”wanfa——zimingqinggao、jianghuazhijie、sangshishenmigan。wanliubenzhishangshi“rangtazaicijiandaonideqizhi”，erfei“qiutabielikai”。

　　ruhezuo?cong3gesuoshizhujian：

　　hunyinzenmewanhuifancuo，genggaizishenxingxiang：jiangexinzuodefaxing、maiyitaoheshenyifukuzi、jianshensuxing(buyaoxiaokanzheizhong，shijuechongjilinengxunsuhuanqitade“xinxuanku”)。

　　suzaoxinxihao：liruxuezuocai、paishe、yundongjianshen、nianshu(dangtafajue“nibuzaiweizhewozhuan，fandaohuodegengjingcai”shi，fandaohuihaoqixin“nizuijinzenmele”)。

　　shengchanzhizao“qingqingsongsonghudongjiaoliu”：bieyijianmianjiuliao“fuhexing”，fanershixunzhaojihuiyiqizuosuoshi——lirujingguoshangchangshibiaoshi：“maibumaidiannixihuanchidechelizi?”(dangranguanzhu);jiandaobaoxiaoshipinshifasongjita：“zheiyiyoudianxiangzhiqiandajiadaihaizidaodongwuyuan?”(zhuiyigongmingdian)。

　　guanjianhuanjie：“bukeyi”bi“youyi”genggaoxiao。birushuonixuehuilezhufan，biedangmianshuo“woxuehuilechuangxincai，nihuilaichiba”，fanershifazhangzhaopiandaopengyouquan：“diyicizhuniurou，fangfoyoudianxian……(peitutupian)” takandaozhihoukenengpingjia：“kanzhebucuoa”，nijiunengchenjishuo：“xiayicigaishan，yaobuyaolaidangpingshentuan?”