维持婚姻需要智慧：女人的婚姻经营有什么秘诀

 1977nian，qianxianshengheyangxianshengbanrulesanlihenanshagougongyu，liangrenkankeyisheng，wannianzongsuanyongyouyigenenggouanzhuangdejuchu。weichihunyinxuyaozhihui，nvrendehunyinjingyingyoushenmemijue?

一、维持婚姻需要智慧：女人的婚姻经营有什么秘诀

 qianxianshengde《guanzhuibian》heyangxianshengdeyizhu《tang?jihede》douhuizheierjinxing。zhongshukaixinshuo：“《guanzhuibian》he《tang?jihede》shirenmenzuizhongdeshule。kuaijiwoxiesanzidetiqian，worangnixiesizidetiqian，womenhuhuan。

 wojiang：“nitaichidakuile，wodezifeichangrenma?”tashuo：“liugeliunian，haowan。suinizenmexie，zongzhinenggoubuguashangmishidongjing。”renmenjiuqiandingleyigebupingdengtiaoyue。(di159ye)shouyoudazuodecheng，qianyangfufushangyixianghuzhijiantizi，youyikebaoguide“suishizi”。qinaidededuzhe，youmuyou**samandidejuede?

 weichihunyinxuyaozhihui，nvrendehunyinjingyingyoushenmemijue?qianyangfuqi，buqiumingli，weiyuanqingjingmianqiangguohuo，quanshenxinnianshu。20xinshiji80shidai，qianxianshengdexiaoshuoji《qianzhongshuweicheng》beidianyingdaoyanhuangshuqingaixiechenglianxuju，zaochengleyougu“qianzhongshuweichengre”。zhongshudexiaoshuojigaichenglianxuju，taturanzhijianbianweilezhimingrenshi。renmenmumingerlaiyouyuandilai，guidingbaolanqianzhongshudefengcai。tabukenzuoyeshengdongwuyuanlidexiqiguaiwu，wozhinengshouhaomenweitadangke。

 tabingbuqiuming，queduobulezhimingrenshidefannaohekunao。tangruotameiyouming，renmengaishizaitaiyoujing!(di164ye)shangxinshiji80niandaizhijin，guanzhuqianshifuqiderenhenduo，henduojingyangtamendeqiuzhuzhefenzhitalai，feichangshi“qianmi”men，yangjiangzhinengsipoliandangjia。tagaozhirenmen：“wochangchangjiandaozhongshuduixiexinhelaijiadeyonghushenbiaoqianyi;huozhechengchengkenkendiquangaobieyanjiushenme《qianzhongshuweicheng》;huokekeqiqidituishuo‘wukefenggao’，huoshijingranjiqianwenminglimaoyoubujiangqinglidehuijue。

 yihuixiangtingtazaidianhualiduiyimingqiujiandemeiguonvxingshuo：‘tangruonichiwanshengjidanganjuefeichanghao，hekulejieneishengdandelaomujini?’jiusuanwodanyoutazhuangjiren。”yibianhuodeputongrendezheifenpingjing，qianshifuqidumenxiekeshishuwunai。(《yangjiangchuan》di226-227ye，luoyinshengzhe，beijingshixietongtushuchubanshe2015nian12yueban)

 qianyangerrenbukenjuanjinminglichang，qianxianshengliciqinghuadaxuewenxuesuozixunguwen、shekeyuanfuxiaozhangdengzhi。yangxianshenghanyufanyide《tang?jihede》xihuoxibanyaguowangshouyudeqishixunzhang，liangfantuiweidanshi，caitongyichuguofangwenyidali。yangjiangyinhanyufanyi《tang?jihede》erhuoxibanyazhengfushouyudejujiang，binggenjuyidalizhuhuashiguanyaoyuetachuguofangwen：

 shourenshizheyaoyue，yangjiangwanyanjujuele;dierrenshizhesongquxuanbudeshumianxingshiyaoyue，yangjiangxuanbudiyishumianxingshiwanyanjujuele;disanrenshizhegenjuzhongguoshekeyuanlingdaoganbumahongquqing，yangjiangjuedequeshi“laibuchule”，caidayingxialai。tanqizheishi，qianzhongshumobuwangxingdishuo：“3geshizhecaiqingdongta!”(《yangjiangchuan》di222ye，luoyinshengzhe，beijingshixietongtushuchubanshe2015nian12yueban)

 qiao，xuanqikuangrenzhongshujunyouyihuidakaixuanqifangshi，duilaopodechengzanyangyizhezaineiyanjiaomeishao，zhangdazaimeijumeiyizili。wojuede，laopodejiazhiquxiangjiushishuozhongshujundejiazhiquxiang，liangrenzhiquxiangtou。tamenzhangqigongzuoqinfen，naizhidanianchuerhaiyaofanmang，bukenjienabaizaonian，buxiangyaobeibierenbaishou，shenpabeibierendajiao。

 2010nian11yue21rishiqianzhongshudebainiandanchen。neiwei“wenhuayishukunlun”deshengchenyiqianbuweirenzhi，zhizhijinnianlaicaidabaitianxia，yiyouyuqianzhongshuzijiyexiangbuqilaizishenshengchen，ershitajiqixiangyaobeibierenbaishou，yincixinxibaomi。zaitabashisuineiyinian，qinqipengyou、jiguantuanti、xueshujierenyuanjingxiangyaojitamenzuoshou，yimingpenyoutongdianhualailejieqianlaoshengchenshijishinayitian，qiziyangjiangwanxiaohuazhedangjia：“meiyouneitianla!”yuanxianqianzhongshuzaojiuyouyanzaixian：“wuxuhuaxiebuqingbuchudeqian，zhaoxiebusanbusideren，shuoxiebutengbuyangdehua。”(《chikuangcaijunqianzhongshu》，chuangzuozhelilu，quanwenfabuyu《wenshicanzhao》，2010niandi22qi)

 huangyongyulaoxianshengcengzaipianwenzhangzhonggongbu：youquanweirenshinianchuerqubaizaonian。wangjiadouhuibanshi，xuehuifangxiashierqukaiguanmen，lairenshuosheng“xinchunjiajiehao”kuabujiuyaojinmenchu，qianzhongshuzhiwailuyiximenkuangshuo：“ganxie!ganxie!renmenbijiaomang，ganxie!ganxie!”zheitahuihenbukaixin，shuoqianzhongshukanglibujinrenqing。huoxu，daliangdeneishihou，zheileihuijuetarende“kushi”，huanshiyouyangjianglaizuo，tayineryeziwodiaokanshiqianzhongshude“banjiaoshi”。

 zheizhongkanqilaibujinrenqingdeguanjiandian，wojuedeshitamenbuqiumingli，chaoranwuwaidezhuyaobiaoxian。chengruqianzhongshutangxiongqianzhongluchangshuo，yangjiangheqianzhongshuxiangtong，duimingyulimeiyouzhuiqiuwanmei，budangdoubuxiyurengoutongjiaoji，tazhixiangananwenwendinianshuchuangzuo，pingdanrushuimianqiangguohuo。zijishijianyongzainaer，gongxianjiuzainaer。qianshifuqibatarenhedaliangkafei、zuoshengri、yurengoutongjiaojideshijiandouyonglainianshu，kandaochenshijiandexuannao，shouhaozishendepingjing，nenggoubiancheng“wenhuayishukunlun”“bolanqunshuhongru”，caiyouneimaduorenmenyangwangdemingpian;zuoshoudelelengbandeng，caipengdechuleileidexueshuyanjiushuoguo。

 jiarutamenjienadahuoerdehaoxin，jiangyoujianbuwandeguke，baomingcanjiabuwandezhutihuodong，jiumeifajingxialaizuoxuewen，neirenmenjiandaodejianghuishishehuihuodongjia、xinwenmeitiwangluohongrenqianshifuqi，jiubingbushiwenhuayishujurentupianfuqile。shuzhongyouduanhuanengzuoxiaojie：“yingqimingxi，qiuqiyousheng。”youshengkeyuanzaiqianlizhiwai，keyuanzaishiyubainianzhihou。zhongshuyaozuolengbandengde，tadedaxuewendoushilengbei。tacengyuwoshuo：“youmingjiushishuoduoyixiebuxiangshideren。”renmenqidaijigezhiyi，buzhuiqiuzhimingyousheng。(di155ye)

 weichihunyinxuyaozhihui，nvrendehunyinjingyingyoushenmemijue?henduoniandehunyinshiguanghou，qianxianshengheyangxianshengbanrulesanlihegongyu，yaoyaoyuzhuidewomensayongyouyigexiangduixingfuyudewendingzhusuo。zheili，fufuliangrendumenxieke，quanshenxinnianshuchuangzuo，doushizheili，yangjiangxianshengduguolesangnvsangfudejianxintongku。