挽回咨询：婚姻失败分手怎么挽回

　　hunyinshibaifenshouzenmewanhui，hunyinshenghuolaidao“bixuwanliu”dechengdu，bingbuyidingshiyouyuyijianshiquanmianbaofa，fanershiyicicixinhanjileixialaidejielun。youxierenrenwei“wanliubianshizhiqian、rangbu、quyue”，jieguobazishenbaidejijuxiajiang，lingyifangyebiandeyuelaiyuelengmo。zhenzhengyouxiaodehunyinwanhui，yaoxianxunzhaowentidebenzhi，zaihuanzhenzhidexingweizhongjianxinren——jiuxiangjimianlinkuweidepenzaizhiwujiaoguan、shangfei，erfeiqiangxingbakuyezhanhuishushao。

　　一、先“停一停”：别再心态里做出决定

　　bushaorenzaihunyinshenghuoxianruweijishi，rongyixianruliangzhongjiduan：yaobujiyu“chuliwenti”，meirixunwenlingyifang“nijiujinghaiaiwoma”“dajiayihougaizenmeban”，jiangduifangyuebiyuelaiyueyuan;yaobuyong“lengbaoli”“weixieliyi”ceshiduifangdetaidu，jielunrangbenlaiyeyouwanliuzhijiandeguanxiwanquandongjie。

　　wanliudediyibu，shijiduifang“xintaiguoduqi”。ruguoniyijingdaraodaoshuobuchulailixingdehua，bufangfenkaishuijiri(bingbushizhendeliangdifenju，fanershijiangdizhengmianjiaofeng)，meirijiushuobiyaodehua(liru

　　“xiaohaimingrixudaixueshengxiaofu”)。zheiduanshijiannei，buyaoquxiang“niweishaduiyuwozheimexiong”，fanershichangshiwenyixiaziji：“dajiacongshenmeshihoujingchangzhengchao?diyicijuede‘chengbuxiaqu’shizenmehuishier?”

　　youyiweinvxingfenshouwanhuishi，yongbijibendiannaoxiechulebannianlide10 cizhengzhi：3 ciyouyu“tayebuguisububaobei”，4 ciyouyu“jiapoganyudaiwa”，3 ciyouyu“tazongshibashoujishezhichengjiangzao”。xiehaocaizhidao，guanjianwentibingbushi

　　“ruguobuaile”，fanershi“quefaanquangan”he“jiexianganmohubuqing”。dangxintaipingjingxialai，tabuzaijiujie“taaibuaiwo”，ershikaishixiang“ruherangtazhidaowodeganjue”。

　　二、用“非对抗”的形式，讲出实际需求

　　“wanliubingbushichengrencuowu，fanershirangduifangzhidao‘wodongnidebiequ，yeyuannidongwodenanguo’。”xuduohunyinshenghuodeliekai，shiyouyugoutongjiaoliuchengle“huxiangmaiyuan”：qizishuo“nigenbenbuzaiyizheigejiating”，laogongshuo“nicongweilejieguowogongzuoyali”，zuizhongsheidoumeitingdaotadeshengxiang。

　　changshihuanyizhongjiaoliufangshi：wuxu“nizong……”kaishi，zhishishuo“wojuede……”。lirubuyongshuo“niyitiandaowanjiabanjiadian，neixinyagenmeiyouwo”，zhishishuo“nilianxuyizhouyeli10 dianzhihouhuijiale，woyigerenzuozaidaketingdengzhenishi，huijuedeyoudiangudu”;buyongshuo“niduiwomaxintaizheimecha，bianshimieshiwo”，zhishishuo“womamazhiqianlaisonghuo，nimeiyouzenmeliaotian，wozaizhongjianyoudianerdiaonan”。

　　zheilei“renrangshibiaoshu”nengxiediaoduifangtifang。yeyouduifuqizailengbaoliyigeyuehou，laogongzhudongshuo：“shijishangneiciwobingbushibuxiangpeinizouniangjia，shixiangmuchuxianlewenti，pacongniqinrenyanqianzhuangbutaihaoxintai。”laopocaidezhi，tade“huijue”lizanggongzuoyali，erbushibuzaihu。dangliangrendouxiangjiangchu“meishuochukoudebiequ”，jiedijiuyiguibileyiban。

　　三、用“小行动”重建信任，而非空喊“我能改”

　　“woyihouyidingduopeizheni”“wozaiyebuhuiheninaomaodunle”——zheizhongfuwuchengnuofenshouwanhuishihenrongyishuo，danshiduifangtongchangbuxiangxin。yinweixiangxindetanta，shiwushu“meiyouzuodaodeshiqing”jileixialaidejielun;xinlaidefujian，yeyaoyongshijixingdongyidiandianzanqilai。

　　ruguoyiqianzongwangdiaoliunianri，buxuyaomaiangguilipin，tiqianyitianshuo“mingtianwomenqunizuixihuandeneijiacantingba，woyudinglebuwei”;ruguoyiqianfeichangshaofendanjiawu，wuxuhuranchenglanquanbuhuo，meirijijixiyiciwan、tuoyicidijiukeyile;ruguoyiqianlaoba“gongzuotaimang”dangjiekou，changshizaiwuxiushifayitiaoxiaoxi：“gangkandaonizuixihuandeyinpindianchuxinchanpin，yelirangnidaiyibei。”

　　zheixiexiaoshibi“wonenggai”gengyouliliang。youyiweinanxingfenshouwanhuishi，meishuoguoyiju“duibuqi”，quejianchimeitianzaochenjiairenzhuyibeitaxihuandedoujiang(zhiqianconglaibujinchufang)，xiayudeshihoutizaojiachequtaqiyeloudixiadeng(zhiqianrangtazijidade)。sanzhouhou，laopojijixunwenta：“mingtianxiuxi，yaobuyaoyiqidaizhehaiziqushengtaigongyuan?”

　　四、接纳“不太可能马上合好”，给关联“成长的时间”

　　hunyinshibaifenshouzenmewanhui，wanliubingbushi“anzhudianyuankaiguan”jiukehuidaozuichu，rutongshuaihuaidebeizi，jishizhanlaole，yeyaomanmanxiguan“tacengjingsuiguo”。bieyinweibieren“huifuxinximanlexie”“meijijiqianzhenideshou”jiuhuangleshoujiao，ganjue“qinfenmeiyouyong”。

　　yeyouduifufufenshouwanhuishi，shiyonglesangeyuecaizhongxinxiang“zhengchangfuqi”yiyangjianghua。qianyigeyue，tamenzhishiliaohaizideshiqing;diergeyue，laogonggaikoushuogongzuozhongdeyouqudeshi，laopohuihuifuyiliangju;disangeyue，laopozhenglixianzhiwupinshi，quchulianggerenganglianaishideyingpiao，xiaozheshuodao“neishinihainengtizaomaigenghaobaomihuayumi”。lianxidezhuannuan，rutongchuntiandehuakai，bixunaixindedengdai。

　　zhenzhengdehunyinwanliu，shiliangrendouxiangyao“huitouqiaoqiao”：kanyixiayiqianweihezoudaoyiqi，kanyixiazhihouzaishenmedifangpaopianle，zaikannengbunengshouqianshou，huanyitiaolujixuwangqianzou。zhiyaoduifangzanshihaimeihuifu，yebuyaofourenzijinuli——zhishaonizaizheiguochengzhong，dongdeleruheaiyigeren，ruheyunyingyiduanguanxi。

　　hunyinzhongzuibaoguide，conglaidoubushi“shizhongbufapiqi”，fanershi“daraodaoxiangfangkaishoushi，yeyourenxiangyaoweibicituiyibu”。jiaruwomenneixinhaiyouyisishebude，hebuzhaoduifangfashiyishi——huoxudangchuneigelingrenxindongderen，keyizanshizoudiule，danshinidezhenxinshiyi，jianghuichengweitazhaodaofangweiyueliangdeguang。