爱上不该爱的人,伴侣之间如何“有效”吵架？

aishangbugaiaideren,lianrenhuoshifuqijian，mianbuleyoushihouqizhengchao。yibanlaishuofensanzhongzhonglei：nanyanzhiyouli，nvyanzhiyouli，nanhaihenvhaidouyanzhiyouli。neima，shenmeqingkuangyingdangxishiningren、fangzhizhengzhi，shenmeqingkuangkeyiyongzhengchaolaijiejuekunnanni?neimeainidelianggeyounaxieni?xiamianjiugensuixiaobianyiqilaikankanaishangbierenderendewenzhangba。

youguanzheigewentidefenbianguifan，womenjianyishi，xiangyixiangzheiyijianshiershifouhuiguangfan，bianweirichangshenghuodeguojiguanli，jiarujinjinyoushihouchuxiandeshier，jiububifanuweimiao。lirutayoushihoufeichangleiyinci youyicimeishuawan，zheiwuxuchao，zhishiyaobiaomingbaoronghelejie，shitaganjuetadequezhaodaoyigedongtadenvren，erbushipofu，jishitaduinixinhuaineijiu，lingwaihainengshitaduinideqinggantiwen;jiarutashiduinidebabamamabutaihaobingqiezhuyaobiaoxianhenxianzhu，neihenyoukenengjiubixuchaoyijia，zhuachunantidezhongyaolai。

shijishang，nvrenbuyinggaizongshunanpengyou、zhangfuzhengchao，yaomingbaiyirouzhigang。liru，nanpengyoushoujiyouhebiedenvshideaimeiduanxin，jiarunijuederengzaijixianghuanjie，qianwanbieyoukuyounao，zhibixurenrang，shitazaochengyanegan，ganjuenigengbixuweihujiuhaole。ziranjiarunifenshou，neimazheijiangshiyigefeichanghaodetuoci。

zheieryaoliuyideyidianshi，xuduo nvrenhelingyifangchanshengfenqihouxiailengbaoli，quebuzhidao，aishangbugaiaideren,jiatinglengbaolishijishangdingyabirebaolixingwei(zhengchao)duiqinggandesunhaigenggao。chufeishishiyuanzewenti，buranbuyinggaicaiyongjiatinglengbaoli。

zaishenghuoqijuzhong，jibian shizhengchao，yebixubawoyixiefangshi，lingwaifangzhiyixieyantanjuzhidejihui。

lucyheayongshiyiduiqinglv，nanxinglaiyuanyuxiangcun，yifukuziyizhiyoudianerlalilata，lucyquandaoshixiao，rengxiayiju“niyunibayiyangbuaiganjing”。ayongjiunule，shuo：“womenjiayifukuzizixiaoquanshiwomamaxide，woyebuxiguo!”lucybuxieyigu：“dajiahaimeiyouwanhun，weiherangnixichuangdana?zailiaowozhengqianbiniyaoduo，yaoxiyegainixi。”lucyheayonglianggerendaraodaozheiyifenershang，jiulitichufenshouhenjinle。

xiangjindexiaochaobianweidafenqi，yibannantichanshengzaixialiecengmian：

diyi，fourenlingyifangdechusheng(nizheileixiaochengshiderenyushengjulaibuaiganjing，jialiderendouzheifudexing);

dier，fourenlingyifangdexiankuang(qiaonihundezheiyangzi，lianxxxyebunizenmeyebukankannitongxuemen);

disan，fourenlingyifangdejianglai(niyibeiziyejiushizheiyangle，wojiajinisuandaolebabeizimei，nixuyaonengfajiazhifu，zhudoudahuishangshu);

disi，fourenlingyifangdeduteyingxiangli(henduorenzhuiwo，wozenmejiuxuanlenilei，neigesheiyizhihenxihuanwo，zaozhiwodoubibushanggenta);

diwu，fourenlingyifangdebabamama(nigentamayigedexing，tamaruhejiuneimabukaihuani?nibashifoutaijinjinjijiaodianle)。

aishangbierenderen,zongdelaishuo，qiewububianshizhelingyifangzishenyoubeiyongtai，bubifourenlingyifangdeweiren，bubijingonglingyifangdebabamama，bubiquxiaolingyifangdeyuyubudezhi，bubijingonglingyifangdechusheng。zheizhongquanshizhengchaodeleiqu，guishuyujihui。

ciwai，zhengchaodeqingkuangxiabubitiguoqu，yaoyouliyouju，yimashiguiyimashi，youshihounaizhibuyongcaiyongyuyan。lirutongjushenghuonanpengyouzhiyongcanbushuawan，shucitishishixiaohou，niyejiuzhaoyicijiangquanbudewanfangdaotadeneiyicechuangbian，quebaotazhihoushizhongdoushihuihaijide。yeyou，zhengchaoshibiewangjizishendemudi，daodishixiangzhaochaertichufenshou，huanshixianghepingtanpan。

dangran，zhengchaozhong，youyixieyuanzewenti、daodedixianleidenantishibukeyituoxiede，liru，bicizhenduiweilaideguihuafangwei，juzhuzainagechengshi，duozhangshijianwanhun，fangdichanxingming，jiehunhounvxinggongzuozhongshifou，babamamadefuyangnanti，xubuxuyaoxiaohai，ernvdejiaoyuredianwenti，zichandesuoshunantideng。tanlianaiqianqidenantirutong“jizaicouli，meizhijiangkongshen”。shuangfangzaijiehunqianjiuyingdangjiangdabufenjiejuewentidiao，zuishaodadaoyuyanshangdedegongshi。

neima，airenzhongjianjiujingyingdangzenyang“heli”zhengchaoni?

ainidelianggewo,cengyouyigemmxinjianshuohenanpengyouzhengchao，chizetajihuduizishenbuzuguanzhudoubuzaiyizishendetihui，dannanpengyoushuowukuiyuxin，haixiangfanfaxinximata。mmshangxinyujuetitichufenshou，danshijishangxinlihuanshihenxisouyou，buqingchuzaban。