复合后要怎么沟通才能消除隔阂，恋人之间有隔阂了怎么办

fuhehouyaozenmegoutongcainengxiaochugehe？daduoshufenshoushiyouyucuowudexiangchufangshi，bunenglijienvhaidesixiang，xiangchuyiduanshijian，ganjuepibei，maodunjilei，henrongyidailaifenshoudeqingkuang：meicifenshouhounizhudonghetaliaotian，duifanghuiyingleng？nvpengyoushanchuleshanchudeheiselianxixinxi，neimeruhexiaochulianggerenzhijiandechajuni？

zhiyouzhengquegoutong，jiejuewentidegenben，cainengxiaochugehe。lingyifangyizhiqiangdiao，“womenbuheshi，meiyouganjue”youshenmexiwangma？zheixiedoushixiongdiliangjingchangyudaodewenti。

ganjuebushiyifanfengshunde。ruguochuxianwentibingjiejuewenti，huifuqujueyulengjingdefenxihezhunquedecaozuo，erbushiyiciyouyicideqitaohesiwangjiuge！zhiyaoniyongzhengquedefangfa，jiumeiyouwufawanhuideganjue。

一.案例

wojiaoxiaoyuan。woshiyimingyinxingzhiyuan。woxinggeneixiang。yinweiwomeiyoutaiduodeaiqingjingyan，wodeaiqingshengyizhendebugao。xiaotonghewoshiyoupengyoujieshaode。

yikaishi，wobeitadeqizhisuoxiyin，wodenaohailichongmanletadeyingzi。suiranwomenzongshiliaotian，dantahenkuaijiuhuidale。tadezhijuegaosuwotaxihuanwo，suoyiwoduitazhankailejiliedezhuiqiu。

jingguoyigeduoyuedenulihepengyoudecuohe，xiaotongzhongyutongyizuowodenvpengyou。wohetazaiyiqihenkaixin，woduitayehenhao。suiranwodeshourubushihengao，danwoyuanyiweitahuaqian！wodeshenghuohenjiejian。

qichu，woduitahenshuncong。womendeganqinghenkuaishengwen。shuangfangdoujiyujiehun。womenkaishishenghuozaiyiqi。dankuailedeshiguangzongshiduanzande。xiangchuhenzhangshijianhou，huiyouhenduomaodun。takaishixiangwobaoyuan，woouerhuishengqi，butaikaolvtadeganshou。

fuhehouyaozenmegoutongcainengxiaochugehe？jishiwodidiaodihongta，woyewufagaibiantadelijie。tarengranchuchuliuluchuduiwodebuman，shenzhirangshiqingbiandegengzao。tajingchangyinweiyixiesuoshierhewonaoshi。

ruguowoburenxinhetachaojia，tahuihewodalengzhan。woxiangwomenkenengyijingjinrumoheqi。danshi,zheige“mohe”fanerrangwomenjianxingjianyuan。faxiaoxizongshibuhui，yuetachulaiyeyuelaiyuenanle。wozhendehenxihuanta，xiangzhidaotazaizuoshenme，tazaixiangshenme。

zhidaoyouyici，tahenwancaihuijia。wohendanxinta，xiangqujieta。tabuxiangsi。dangtawentazainalishi，tajujuegaosuwo。wojuedeyouwenti。ruguotaxinlimeiyougui，tahuibugaosuwoma？

woyuexiangyueshengqi。tayidingduiwoyinmanleshenme。zaijiashangtazuijinduiwodetaidu，tadeshoujimimayebianle……wodadianhuaguoqu，danduifangmeiyouhuida。wokuaifengle。

woshenzhidalejishigedianhua，zaiquanshijiexunzhaota。shishishang，woxinliyouzhuajiandexiangfa，woxiwangwocuole。neitianwanshangtameiyouhuijia。houlai，wofaxiantazhuzaiyigezuihaodepengyoujia。

 zhidaodiertian，tazhudongjiwofaleyitiaoxinxi。woyiweitaxiangxiangwojieshi。chuhuyiliaodeshi，tazhijiehewofenshoule。woyishidaowentideyanzhongxing。zheicifenshoushirenzhende。

wokaishiwentagezhonggeyangdepengyou，tamenkeyibangzhuwo，dantaduiwoyuelaiyuelengdan，shenzhilesuowo，zheirangwojuewang。

二.问题分析

1.kuangjiabupingheng，budonglianaiguanxi“yindaotouzi”

duinvhaizihaomeiyoucuo，danzheizhonghaochushiqiangdiaohuibaode。buguanhuibaoruhe，duifangbuhuibeigandong，yehuirenweizheishilisuodangrande。dangran，yinghehuirangtazanshigandaomanzu，dandangtayiciyouyicidizheiyangzuoshi。

yiciyouyicidituponidedixian，nibunengzaijitataxiangyaodele“ganjue”，nihuizhujianjuedezijibuheshi。qinggankuangjiabupingheng，nanrenshiqumeili，guanxixianrubeidong。tongshi，duifangfenshoudechengbenjiangdi，henrongyibaituoganqing，daozhifenshou。

2.不懂女性心理

henduoxueshengjingchangfanzheigecuowu，yiweidehongnvsheng，duinvshenghao，dandaduozhishiwuzhishangdenuli(songliwu).danshiwobulijienvshengdeneixinxiangfa，liaotianwuliao，qinggangongmingshao，meiyouxinlijiaoliu，zheijiudailaileyigejieguo——nvrendexinlixuqiuzhangqidebudaomanzu。

3.qingxukongzhinenglicha，cuowuhuifu

ruguonizongshitaobizijideqingxu，haipaduifangbukaixinhuofenshou，wufayouxiaoshudaomaodun，neimenideqingxujiuhuijilei，henrongyixianruqingxuzhuangtai。ruguonibushibaolu，nvhaihuitebiemingan，zheishibukejieshoude。

xiaoyuanyishidaoxiaotongdeguyishuyuan。tabujinmeiyoulengjingxialaisikaogaishanguanxi，yemeiyoulengjingdiyuduifanggoutong。xiangfan，taxuanzeletaobihejiya。zuihou，tadeqingxubaofa，daozhifenshou。

三.恢复过程分析

1.huifudediyibu——xuanzezhengquedefuhefangfa

xuduoxueshengzaifenshouhouzuoleyixiecuowudeshoushu。ruguotamenbeiheikegongji，zheizhongguanxijiangjinruduilizhuangtai。zaizheizhongzhuangtaixia，wufajianliyouxiaodegoutong。neime，zaizheizhongqingkuangxiawogaizenmebanni？shishishang，nikeyichangshiyixiechuantongdefangfa。zaizheicihuifuzhong，shiyongleta“zhongzixin”jijiyumubiaojianlian。“zhongzixin”zenmeyang？jiuxiangzaitaxinlizhongxiayikefuzadezhongzi，rangtazijifaya，dexinfayang，ranhouzhudonglianxini。zheikezhongzishiyixinjiandexingshichengxiande。

rangwomencongyigewentikaishi：weishenmeyaoshiyongzhongzizimu？chulezheikenengshiniweiyidegoutongfangshizhiwai，zheifengxinhaiyouyigehenhaodeyoushi：takeyirangduifangwanquanyuedunidebiaoda。bijing，meiyourenhuihaoqi。meigerendouxiangkankannidianjihoushuoleshenme。

suoyinixuyaozuoliangjianshi：a.zhaodaotarengzaishiyongdeyouxiang(huofasongzhizhiyoujian)(huofasongzhizhiyoujian)b.xieyitiaokongzhizai200-300ziyineideduanxinlaibiaodanizaizheiduanshijianlidefansiheganshou(zhongzixindezhangdubushiheguocheng，nixieleshijiyefaguoqu，kongpatameiyounaixinkan)

fenshouhou，henduoqinglvhuxianglesuo，yinweitamendanxinhuiyouwujindejiuchan，zhongzixinzaizheiduanduande200-300zizhongqingxidichuandalezheiyangyigexiangfa：woyijingjieshouleshishibingzuochulegaibian。woyiqianhaibugouchengshu。

xianzaiwoxiangzuoweipengyouyunijianlilianxi，zheiyangnijiukeyikandaoyigebutongdewo。xiaoyuanchenggongdijiangmubiaoweixintianjiahuiduanqiduankai。genjuduimubiaorengexinliheanlidefenxi，zheilibuxuyaozhangqiduankailianjie。

sandaowutianshiheshide。ruguoshijiantaiduan，duifangrengranhuiyouyapogan。ruguoshijiantaizhang，huishiganqingjinrulengmoqi。haowuyiwen，dapozheizhonggangadelengmoxuyaogengduodeshijian。

2.huifupudianqi，kaishizhizaoguanxichuangkou

dangnizaicitianjiapengyoushi，wozhidaonifeichangxingfen。nipobujidaidixianglatatuchunideyihan，nidegaibian，nidexiangfa...niyuexiangtulu，jiuyuexuyaobizui。yinwei，gaibianbushikaozijichuixu，ershikaotaqinyanmuducaisuanzhenshi。

qici，niganggangtongguoqingsongdehuayuhejijideshenghuozhuangtaixiyinletadezhuyi。buyaotijibuyukuaidehuiyi。zaizuichudejitianli，nibuyinggaiquzhaota——niyinggaijitayixieshijianqushiyinghejieshou。zuohaonidexingxiangzhuanbian。waibiaodebianhuahenrongyidaozhigengduodexinlijiechu，zheigerenyehuigaibian“cuojue”。

jiexialai，baochinigengxinpengyouquandepinlv，zhutikaishiqingxiangyutaguoqudexingqu。womenzaidengdaiyigejihui——tadezanyanghepinglun。yinweizheiyijudongbujindaibiaoletadexingqu，yeyiweizheyijianfeichangzhongyaodeshiqing：tayuanyirangnizhidaotaduitaganxingqu。

zheishiyigehenhaodeqiekou，danbuyaoziman。womenzhixuyaojiecijihuiyutajiaotan，gaosutazheishinizuijinzhengzaizuodeshiqing，bingfenxiangnideganshouhezhuangtai——zhidaoxianzai，buyaoyicixiaohaosuoyoudeqinggannengliang。womenyinggairangduifangkaishixiguanyuniliaotian。

jiexialai，zaiwangshangliaosandaowucihou，womenkeyichangshiyaoqingtacanjiayougongtongaihaodehuodong。nidechenggonglvhuihengao。yuanyinruxia：nideqianrenjileniyixiebiaoyanghepinglun，bingqingchudibiaodaletadexingqu。

fuhehouyaozenmegoutongcainengxiaochugehe？nideqianrenyuanyiyuniliaotianhehudong，zheibiaomingtayijingzhujianxiaochuleduinidepaichi；dangnihenideqianrenyuehuishi，niyikaota“gongtongaihao”zaimeitishang，nimendeguanxishixiangshougongtongxingqudepengyou，buhuirangnvhaigandaominganheganga。