婚姻中的改变应该从自己做起

　　zaidananzizhuyizhudongfenshouhoudexinlizhong，nanxingjingchangzaoyuzizunshoushangkunrao。dananzizhuyidetexingshidetamenxiguanshiyanqiangzhedeshenfen，bawoguankongquan。danshi，dangtamenjijiquedingjieshuyiduanganqingshi，zheigexuanzekenengduiziworentongchanshengchongji。tamenyexujuedebuchenggong、bubeixuyao，naizhizhiyizijinanzihanqigai。zheizhongneixinmaodunyutongkuhenyoukenengcongeryingxiangtamendeqingxu、xingweibiaoxianrenjijiaowang。yiner，lijieherenshidananzizhuyizhudongfenshouhoudexinlijiushiweilegenghaodiyingduitamendeqingxuhexiezhutamenxiufuzixinxin。

　　心理困扰：分开对男性自尊冲击

　　dananzizhuyijiushizhinanxingzhuzhongziyidequanweihezhudaoxing，tamenchangzaiguanlianzhongshiyanjijiderenwujiaose。danshi，dangdananzizhuyizhejijiquedingfenshoudeshihou，tamenjiangmianlinxinlikunraohezizunfushang。zheizhongqingkuangzainanxingzhongfeichangbijiaochangjian，yinweitamenyibanrenweikongzhiyujuedingquanyinggaishuyutamen。xialiejiangtaolundananzizhuyijijifenshouzhihoukenengfashengdexinlinanti，yijiyingduizheizhongwentidefangfa。

　　内心的冲突：自我认同的考验

　　dananzizhuyizheduizijidenanzihanqigaigandaojiaoao，tamenxihuanchuzaizhudaodiwei，bingcaokongqinmiguanxi。danshi，dangtamenjijiquedingfenshoudeshihou，zheileiziworentongmianlinkunjing。tamenyexujuedebuchenggong，ganjuezijiwufaweichihaonanrendexingxiang。zheileineixindechongtukenengzaochengtadezizunfushang，congerduizishenzaochengfumianfankui。

　　情感上的错乱：里外表述的不一致

　　dananzizhuyizheyibanshiyingbulebiaodazijideqinggan，tamengengpianzhongyuyangaineixinshenchudekunrao。danshi，zaifenshouzhihou，tamenyexushenxianqingganshangdehunluanzhong。xinlideshangtongyubuanshidetamenjinyibufengbiziwo，buyuanxiangbierenzhanxianzijicuiruodeyimian。zheileiliwaibiaoshubuyizhiyehuidaozhixinlidefennuhezhengtuo，zheiyerangtamennanyidedaobierendelijiehezhichi。

　　消极悲观：对决策的过程思考

　　dananzizhuyizheyibanzixinxinerxuanze，tamenxiguanzuochujuecebingjijixingdong。danshi，dangtamenjijifenshouzhihou，tamenyexuzhujianzhiyizijiguanlijuece。tamenhuishenshizijitiaoxuan，huaiyishibushizuochulezhengquexuanze。zheileixiaojibeiguanbudanjiazhongletadeneixintongchu，tongshiyeweirizhihoudeqinmiguanxizengtianlekebianxing。

　　寻找均衡：重新塑造自我认同

　　yingduidananzizhuyizhudongfenshouhoudexinlikunrao，xunzhaojunhengshizhongyaodeyibu。nanxingbixuzhongxinlejieheshulizijidejiazhiheziworentong。zaizhongxinsuzaoziworentongdeguochengdangzhong，tamenkeyixunqiuxinlizixunhuoshiyongtuanduidezhichi，genjushufaqingganheyutarenfenxiangxinlikunraolaihuoqulijieyuzhichi。

　　chucizhiwai，nanxingyekeyicaiqujijizhudongxingdonglaitishengzizunhexiufuzixinxin。biru，fazhanxingquaihao、tigaogerennengli、zhongshijiankangherongmao，yijijianliyoujiazhiderenjijiaowangdeng。zheixiexingdongyouliyunanxingfujianziyidezizunheguishugan，shidetamenjinkuaishiyingfenkaisuodailaidexinlikunrao。

　　zongdelaishuo，dananzizhuyizhudongfenshouhoudexinlikunraoduinanxingeryanshiyixiangyanjundekaoyan。lejiehelijiezheizhongkunraonengbangzhuwomennenggougenghaodibangzhuyuzhichitamen。genjuzhongxinsuzaoziworentong、xunzhaoxinlidalizhichihecaiqujijixingdong，nanxingnenggoumanmanhuifuzizunyuzixin，zaiciyinglaimeihaodemingtian。