有在花镇退款成功的吗？在恋爱中女生该不该主动？

youzaihuazhentuikuanchenggongdema？「wojiangcongsangecengmianlaijianyishuoxia：

lianaizhongnvhaiyingbuyinggaijiji?

nvshengzenmebawohao“jiji”dedu，rangnanhaizigetdaonidesixu，bingzhuanhuachengtajinyibujinxingdejingongni?

jiarunanshengbuzhudongshifouyiweizhetabuxihuanni?

一、在恋爱中女孩应不应该积极?

 wobenrenjuede，nvhainenggoujiji，zhongjiuzhenzhengdeaiqinghuxiangde，jiarulingyifangdequechongzuchuse，chongzuxiyinzhuni，nidequexiai，neimazuoweinvhaideniziranyoujijizhuiqiuwanmeiganqingdezhipeiquan。

 danshi，bixuliuyideshi，nvhaidejijiwubihe“shiduyuanze”xianglianluo，jiushi，zuoweinvhaideniyizhizaiganqingzhongnenggoujiji，danyidingyao“shidang”。

nvhai“shidu”debiaominghaogandu，jilingyifangaideanshizhe，zheidequekenengshiyitiaorangzishenhuodeyiduanlianaiguanxidejindao。

cengjingdewohuizongguoyige“guanlianmingque”gongshijisuan：

duijianglaiairendetiaoxuan=airendeyouhuoli*kedexing

 congzheiyigongshijisuannenggoukandechu，shifouyaotiaoxuanyigerenzaiyiqi，zaiyulingyifangdeyouhuolihedajiahelingyifangzaiyiqidenanduxishu。

yinci “shidu”dejijidequenenggoutishengnidekedexing，youyiyulingyifangtiaoxuanni。

 liru，tayoulianggexuanzedian，niyuciwaiyigenvsheng，taduilianggenvshengdexiaidouleisi，zheigeshihounijiaruzhanxianchubijiaoduodekedexing.

henyoukenengtabianhuiyunizaochengdaliangdelianluo，suihoutiaoxuanni，youyurendetianxingyeshilansande。

keshiwozishizhizhongzhuzhong“shidu”zheigeci，jiushinvshengzhudongdeshuipingyaobawoqiadang。

 yinci ，youzaihuazhentuikuanchenggongdema？「zhenduinvhai，jiarufeidejiji，wojianyidahuoernenggoushizhejijibaituodiyibu，naizhidierbu，xianglingyifangpaochuquaideganlanye，keshishengyudejiushijiubuyaojiaodaonanhaizilaijinxing。

 tongsuyidianlejiebianshi，nvhaidejijiyaochabieyunanhaizidejiandanzhijiedejijifangfa，bingbushixiailingyifang，jiuxuyaoqiangliedejingong，jiuxuyaoyizhiguanxintitie，jiuxuyaoyuzhanyuyong。

youyuzheizhong，jinjinnanhaizidejijifangfa，bingbuyinvhai。

 ernvhaidejijifangfa，jiuxiangwogangcaishuode，ninengxianglingyifangbiaoshuyidingdexingquaihaoheanshizhe，jilingyifangyixiekedexing.

shengyude，huanshiyaojiaodaotalaijinxing，jiarutaduinidequeyouxiai，tayedequehuijinxing。

zheierguanjianyousancengmiandekaolv：

1、guogaokedexing，saixuanbuzu，zaocheng buzuduiniyouganjuedenanhaiziyehuihenizaiyiqi

 zuixiannvhaijiarutaiyuzhanyuyong，yejiushizhuidetaixianzhu、taimenglie，huichushiguogaoderongyidedaoxing，erzheileiguogaodekedexinghuizaocheng yigehenyanzhongkongbudenanti。

 lingyifangjibian buzuduiniyouganjue，yehenyoukenenghuijienanihenizaiyiqi，youyuhuodedetaifeichangrongyi，bubibaibubi，daozuidejiayajiuchiwanhaola。

 danzheileiyinvhaichushiguogaodekedexing，nanhaizibuzuxiai，erhuandedeguanlian，feichangrongyizaiyihouchuxiannanti，huoshiyunyingqilaiyehuigengweijianxin。

2、feichangrongyihuodede，huibeijuedeshiyongjiazhidi

youjuhuashuodefeichanghao：wufadedaodeshizhongzaizaodong，beipianaideyizhituierqiuqici。

yinvhaichedidejiji，bianhuizaocheng nanhaizihuodenitaifeichangrongyile，zheifeichangrongyizaocheng zaiyiqiyihoububeiaixi。

3、ziranjiedeguilvxing，shenchuanglundeshijiao，jueceleyinggaishinanzhui

 yijujinhuaxinlixueeryan，nanxingshiyouzhengfuyude，nanxingzhuiqiuwanmeideshifanyushiyongjiazhi，daibiaozhenanxingyaogengjijidezhuiqiuwanmeicichongyidedao daliangdefanyujiyu，zheihehuziranjiedeyanbianguilvxing。

huiguotoulai，jinizaikandongwushijiedeqingkuangxia，kandaoyizhicichongshizizuozhuizhenanxingshizizuopaoqufanzhime?

yinci renyeshigaodengdongwu，haiyaohehuziranjiedeguilv。

二、那麼，女生怎么把握好“积极”的度，让男孩子get到你的思绪，并转化成他进一步进行的进攻呢?

 shijishang，woxiguanjiangnvshengzhudongxiangaiderentaojinhuchengwei“liao”，liaozheiyigerenxingweihenfeichangzhidexunwei，tayoudianerhyyyuqingguzongdehanyi，keyiguaqilingyifangneixindehailangheyilian，danqueyoudaqingtianjidishui，zhishitingbuzaici。

gaishuqilai，wojuedenvhaidejijikeyiyong“jiechuan+xiyinzhu+anshizhe”sanbulaijinxing。

1、jiechuan：mingquelingyifangdeqingyi，zuishaobudawutiqianzhunbeizhizhang

①找借口联络另一方

 zheiyizhaojiekousheidoushihuiba，jiarudajiashenghuozhongyouxianghudepenyouhuoxiangjiaodelingyu，neifeichangjiandan，yipenyouzhiming、gongzuozhongzhiming，suiyizhaogehuatitaolun、wengewenti，neidounenglianluoshang。queshibuhao，haikeyijiedianqianshuben、wupin，yaoqiulingyifangbangzhubanxinjia、xiuwupinzheixie。

mudizhiyouyige，lianluolingyifangyouwushitimiandi，lingyifangruoduiniyouxin，tadangranhuikeyijiecijihuigennipengmian。

 danshijilao，tashiyizhongjiechuan，shilejihuifajuelingyifangdouweiwanjujue，neinijiuyingdanglejielingyifanglinshiduinideyisi，yaotingzhizaiciwuyiyidejiechuan。

②生产制造共同语言

 henduonvhaierxiangqinyuehuipengmianhou，duinanpengyoudesixuchuaimobuqueding，keshigenjuwenminglimaohaowuyiwenyaohuijialehouhudaogewananhaomeng，cikeninengjijishengchanzhizaohuatitaolun，liaojinrikandeyingpian、chidewanfanhuoshibiede。

 liaoxianghuhenganxingqudeshieryekeyigenjutonglixinxinlizhuangtai，lajinxianghudejianju，zheizishenyeshiyizhongjiechuan，jiarulingyifangjijizhudongdafu，neibiaomingtaduiniyeyouxingquaihao，zuishaoduinishuodehuatayounaixinzaihuiying。

2、xiyinzhu：yunyonghaoxinlixuexiaoying，ranglingyifangshunlichengzhangjiniqingqing。

①做自己，学好展现

 taduinidexiaihexingquaihao，xuduo qingkuangxiazaiyunishisheiya，yinci ，jiaruganjuejindujiaoweijiannan，hebuxianxixindezuoziji，kenengzainifaguo2gegengpiaoliangdezhaopianyihou，tabianhuiyouyidingdexingdong。

②duochuxianzaitayanqian，yunyongpuguangxiaoying。

 meishierduozaiaiderenyanqianhuanglaihuangqu，tashiyizhongxiyinzhu，yeshiyizhonghelide“liao”，zheizaishehuixinlixuebeichengzuo“puguangxiaoying”，yechengweilejiejibendinglv。

duiyurenxiangchuyouhuolideyanjiufaxian，dajiakandaomouyirendepinciyueduo，jiuyueganjuezheirenrerenzhongai、rangrenkaixin。

 danshichuxiandepinciyeshiyoudaodedixiande，puchupinciguoshaoshixiaideshuipingfandaohuijiangdi。bingqiezhenduidajiadiyiyankanqilaijiudichuderen，puchuhuishidajiagengfanganta。

yinci qianbiandajiashuoyaoxuehaojiechuanlingyifang，jiarutaduinimeiyoushenmehaogandu，nipuchuguoduoyezhiyoudebuchangshi。

实际参照下列：

nvshengzhuinansheng，danlianlingyifangzenyangpobingzhilv——「puguangxiaoying」deyunyong

③bawojihui，rangxindongdeshunjianzaocheng。

 bubirenweinvhaierjinyoumeiruotianxianhuoshiqichangfeifan，lingyifangcaikeyiduinipengranxindong，shijishangyunyonghaoshehuixinlixuede“diaoqiaoxiaoying”，tarengjiunengduinixintiaohenkuai。

diaoqiaoxiaoyingjiushizhidangyigerendanzhanxinjingdiguoxuankongzhandaodeqingkuangxia，huiqingbuzijindixintiaohenkuai。

 jiaruqiaqiaoyushanglingyigeren，neimatahuicuobayouzheileiqingjingzaochengdexintiaohenkuailejieweilingyifangshizishendongxincaizaochengdeshenglixuyao，yinciduilingyifangzizhangchuganqingdeqingyi。

 yinci ,buguannanhaihenvhai，yaoshizaiyixieyouqideqingjingcijixingxia，bianhuijiangshenglixueshangdexintiaohenkuaidangzuoduilingyifangdexiai。

jiugentayiqiqubengjitiao、zuoguoshanche、kanjingsongpian、dengshandeng，huoxuneimeyiludecijixingxia，tabianhuiaishangleni。

liru，yiqiqukangejingsongdianying，zaikepacijixingdezhuangkuangxia，ganjintadegebo，huoxubianhuijitamenchanshenglianaideganjue。

④xuehaoxianliao，xintaigongmingdianfa，shitaganjuenidongdeta

zhenduinanhaizieryan，xuduo qingkuangxiadouhuizhaoxunyigedongzishendenvxing

erzheiyidongzishen，jiuxuduo qingkuangxiayuelaiyueainichushideqingxujiazhi，shitaganjueyunixianliaoshushi，nihendongta。

 dajiadoulejietanlianaigangkaishidediyibuquanshigenjuxiyinzhu，xiyinzhulingyifangduinihenganxingqu，xiyinzhulingyifangchixudegangkaishiduinizengjiaxiangmutouzi。

———心态共鸣点法

 shehuixinlixuekexueyanjiujuede，rendexiangchuquanguochengshiyigebicihudongjiaoliudequanguocheng，zheiyiquanguochengbaohanxiangchumubiaohexiangchuqingjing。

 jiaruzaixiangchuquanguochengzhongdajianengjindaolingyifangdeqingxuzhuangtaidangzhong，hetatongxitongbei，neimadajiajiuchuangjianqileyulingyifanggongmingdiandeqingjing，yejiunenghuodelingyifangdejiqingdafu。

shehuixinlixuejuedezheileizhuangkuangshi“qingjingtongyixing”jibenyuanlideyongtu

 yigefeichangjiandandeshilixiezhudahuoerlejie，dangyigenanrenhaiyoujihuizainiyanqianbiaoluxinxian，nixuyaobawozhulingyifangdexintaidian，erqieshitaganjuenishilejietaerqieshenyoutihuide。

nansheng：“wojinjitianhaonanshoua，haojidunfandoumeichi。youyuwozuihaoshideqinrenliqule…”

 jiarunijuede，jieaishunbian、yiqiedoushihuihaoqilaide、bienanguole，mingriwoqingnichifan…neitaburongyiganjuezishenbeilejie。

zheigeshihou，niyinggaibuhuojibenxinxi，zhaoxungongtongdian，suihouzaibiaoshuzishendetihui。

 nvxing：“wojidewowaipoguoshideqingkuangxia，zhanzaiwowaipoderentipang，yidongbudongdekanjianta，yemeiyouku，buqingchuweishachedikubuchulai。zhihouyinianhouwowaigongguoshi，wopadaotafenqiantongku3geduozhongtou…”

dongleme?nanshengyizhizaizhaoxunyigedongnidenvren，nilejiegaizenmezuoleme?

⑤zhengqueyindaolingyifangxiangmutouzi

yigefangfashitawufafangqini——youfaxiangmutouzi

3、anshizhe：ranglingyifanglejieniduitashijieshoude，tashihaiyoujihuide

①duitadexianliaohenantijiaoweijijizhudongdedafu。

zhenduinvhaidejiji，zishennanhaiziyuenixianliao，nikeyijijizhudongdedafu，shijishangzaoyisuanhenjijidefangfale。

 rutongqianbiandajiajiangdenvhaijiechuannanhaiziyiyang，tagennixianliaoyeshizaijiechuanni，nijinyoudafu，caikeyishitalejie“yinweiwoduijinixingquaihao”。

②jienalingyifangdeyaoqing，huoyeyuetaquwan。

zhenduinvhaieryan，jiaruxiangyaojienatadeyaoqing，shijishangjiubiaomingleniduitashiyouxingquaihaode。

jiangfangzhoushuoguoyijuhua：dangyigenvshengxiangyaoyuniqukandianying，jiubiaomingtayexiangyaoyunifashengguanxi。

jiaofayoudianerpianzhi，danyebuwudaoli，zhenduinvhaieryan，xiangyaohenanhaiziquwan，zaoyijiletaxuduo deanshizhele。

③yunyongmuguang、xiaobiaoqingdengshentiyuyan。

nvhaidejijiyinggaishiweiwande、chenwende、yujuhaiyingde。

 yinci ，ninengyunyongmuguanghexiaobiaoqingdengshentiyuyanlaibiaoshuduitajieshou，liruyiqiyuejujuhuihuodongdeqingkuangxia，duokankantaliangyan，duoduitashaxiaozhe，douzaoyishiyizhongaideanshizhehejijile。

④shidudeshangxihezanyang。

 huikuarendenvhaishijishangliaogongyeshidele，zheierdezanyangbubitaifukua，zhishigenjulingyifangdeyoushijiyushidangdehaowuyiwenheshangxi。

 shitaganjuenishidongtade，shangxitade，zaiwomenbeiyigerenzhongshihejilideqingkuangxia，dajiabianhuizaochengxuduo deshushidu，yelajinliangrendeguanlian，lingwaiduitadeshidangdezanyang，yehuijitamenjiduodejili

danliuyi，zheiermingquetichudeshishidang，yidingyaoshidang。

guoduodeshangxihezanyang，feichangrongyirangzishenbianweidiwei，fandaohuizaocheng nanhaizigengkuaisangshixingquaihaohezhengfuyu。

三、假如男生不主动是否意味着他不喜欢你?

nanshengbuzhudongshifoubianshibuxihuanni?huidaworenweibukeyiyigaierlun。

nanhaizijinguanzaiqingganliyibanquanshijijideyifang，danhaiyaofenzhuangkuang、fenzhongleilaijiang：

 yixienanhaizihenyoukenengbianshibuxihuanni，caibuyongshuo;yixienanhaizishibudangyantanjuzhi，duiqingganjiaoweichihuanhuoshipafushang;haiyixienanhaizizhuangkuangfeichangfuza，shipubiansawangbuyubudayudehuaxinnanyehuoxu。

zheilibianruhepanduanjiujinglingyifangshibuxihuanni，huanshitaxinggeshiran?

 meiguodelianaizhuanjiamatthewhussezaiyiciyanshuoshangshuo“nanhaiziyibanburongyibiaoshuzishen，yebuhuijijiqiuai，youqishijuedaduoshunanhaizidoudengdaishihedejihui”。

 erzheiyishihedejihuibianshidajiaqianbianshuode，nvhaiernenggoujiji“jiechuan+xiyinzhu+anshizhe”lingyifang，jinanhaiziyixieaidexinhao，ranglingyifangjiandaoshihedejihuihehenyoukeneng，zaiquguanchatadefanying。

 jiaruolingyifangduiniyouganjue，jinguantadexingqingyixiexiuse、neixiangxingnaizhishibuzixin，dandangtazhidaoniyeyouduitayouxin，daduoshudenanhaizihuijijiqilai，jiniaideyijianfankui。

可是，假如你早已干了那么多，另一方還是视而不见，那麼你就需要认真观察他究竟归属于下述哪样状况了：

1、diyizhongzhuangkuang：tabuzuduiniyouganjue，buyuandijinguanxi。

yigenanshengzainijijitaojinhudezhuangkuangxia，rengranjianrupanshi，feichangdadekenengshitameineimexihuanni。

huoxuqueshiyixiehaogandu，danhaimeiyoudaoxiangheniquedingguanxideshuiping。

yongjuhenshixingdehuashuobianshi“lianrenweiman、youqingzhishang”，budangzhonghuijue

①henyoukenengguoyibuqu，pasunhainvhaidezizun

②patailiji，daozuizhongpenyoudouzuobule

③kenengshihaimeiyoukaolvdaohao，xiangzaicikaolvdao，zuizhong，yekenengshizhishixiangxiangyouxianjieduandenuanweijuede。

2、dierzhongzhuangkuang：xianggennigaoaimei，buyuangenniquedingguanxi。

 youyizhongnanhaizidezhuyaobiaoxianshipubiansawangbuyu，sichuzhanhuarecao，tamenhuigenninuanwei，quebuyuanquedingguanxi，youyuyidanmingquejiudaibiaozhetabukeyizaisiwujidan，

 yinci nizaoyijijidehenxianzhule，lingyifangzhuangshachongleng，keshiyuyanxintaishangyougennihennuanwei，biaomingtajiangnidangzuoletadewangzhongzhiyu，chuleyingdangyeyouhaohaojitiao。

 neiyangdenanshengshijishangbingbuzaishaoshu，youqishizheixiebiaozhunbijiaohaodenanhaizizhong，youyutamendedao nvhaideqinlaifeichangrongyi，zaocheng xinxingaoxie，bujiqiemingque。

 shijideshi，taduinizongyouyidingdetu，wulunjiushiniderongmao、caiqihuanshinengchushideqingxujiazhi，danxinliyoubuyuanweilegenghaodiyikeshusheqiquanbushanlin，bianshibiemingde“buzhudong、bujujue、buchengdan”。

3、disanzhongzhuangkuang：huibixingrenge，zhenduihunyinguanxihaipa、duobi。

zheiyifeichangfuza，xianlaiweidahuoerbiaoshuxiashenmejiaohuibixingrenge。

 huibixingrenge：youzhezheileirengetezhiderenjubeixianzhudeshejiaomeitidanqie，dantamendedanqiebingbushiyinweibukeyiganshoudaorenherenzhijiandewennuanheqinmijiechu，zhishiyinweidanxinzaoshouhuijue。

tamenyibanzizunjiaodi，huidanyoububeirentonghezancheng，suirantamenxiangyaoai，xiangbeijiena，dantamenyuguzishenwufadedao。

 yinci ，danglingyifangshigehuibixingrenge，jibian nijijibiaoshuqingyi，tayeduiniyouhaogan，keshibennengfanyingdefazhanqushixia，tahuidanqienaizhiyouyiraokaini.

 zheiyinijiarumingquelingyifangshineiyangderengetezhi，neimajiuxuyaoduoyixiexixin，zaijijiyidian，shitaxiangxinnikendingbuhuiduitazaochengpipingxingdeganqing。