有在花镇退款成功的吗？如何判断缺爱和怎样自我疗愈？

 youzaihuazhentuikuanchenggongdema？「wojiangcong3gecengmiantantaoquefaanquangandenanti，tashiyipiankendingdeganhuozhishi，xiwangnengzuidazan，dahuoerganjueyouxiezhudingwoshanglai。

①shishazaocheng yigerenquefaanquangan，queaidegenyuan。

②缺爱的表现。

③queaizenmeban，ruhezishenyuliao，zishenbuchongai。

一、经历过什么会造成 人的缺乏安全感?

 shehuixinlixueyanjiubiaoming：dabufenchengrende“quefaanquangan”，xunqiyuantou，quedebingbushishitongnianlingrendeai，zhishi“babamamadeai。”

1、liyijiating，huoshibabamamazixiaomeiyoushenpang

2、fumujiaoyufangfayouwucha，cengshiyongguoyuyan、shentibaolixingweidengjiejuekunnan。

3、babamamabushanyuyuyanbiaodanengli，yibanxiguanxingyonggerenxingweitidaiyuyan。

4、nianyounianfeichangshaozaoshouzanmei，changjianlaiyugengchusedexiaohaichixulaizuobijiao。

5、babamamapianshaoyong“jili”defangfaqubangzhuxiaohaiduguonanguan，erduoyingyonggezhonggeyang“cijiguli”：

liruhehu、poshidengqiangzhixingfangfa。

youshehuixinlixueyanjiubiaoming：

dabufenchengrende“quefaanquangan”，xunqiyuantou，quedebingbushishitongnianlingrendeai，zhishi“babamamadeai。

xuduo meiyouanquanganderenzongganjuemeirenhuiyongyuanaizishen，danhuanshiduiganqing、youyidenghuaizheyizhongjijinchonggaodereqing。

 zheishiyouyuyounianshiqiaidequeshao，zhangdayihouyouqiqipanzaibiedecengmianpeichanghuijia——tashishehuixinlixuezhongde——buchangxinliziwofangyujizhi

yinci ，youshibingbushinizijibuchengqi，zhishinixuyaode“ai”meiyouhuodekaolv，jineryinqideyixiliebuliangyingxiang。

 genjuzheixieguanjiandian，nengkandechuyigerenxingqingquefaanquanganni?dahuoerhaikeyizizhufenbianxia，zishenshifouquefaanquangandeneileiren。

二、缺爱的表现

 liuyi：jiaruzai【zheishi】zishenshenshangchuxianlimian【zuishao80%dexushu】nei【dabufen】shuoming【cishidenichuzaiquefaanquanganqingkuang】。

 (danyaofangzhiluojiwenti：chongzuhebibeitiaojiandiandao。jiqueaiderenhuichuxianzhei21tiaozhuyaobiaoxian，danbingbuyiweizhechuxianzhei21tiaozhuyaobiaoxianzhongdesuiyijigetiaojiubiaomingniquefaanquanganle……buranjiuhebaidusousuotoutong，jieguoganjuezishenshinaoaidegaoxiaoduanziyiyanghaoxiaola~)

1、对路人一直冰冷

 “aojiao”bianshilurendianpingnidebiaoshi。tamenzongganjuenibuzuyoushan，jibian nixiaorongyichengxiangdai，shijishangyejinjinniziyiweishi“zhuyaobiaoxianfeichanghao”，shishishangbierenhuanshinengjuededaomingxiandejiedigan。

2、chuchan“zhainanzhainv、ruanmeizi”

yuefaqueaideren，fandaoyueburongyijijizhaoxun“ai”，yuefapaichigenbierenchupeng，yuexihuanduchu，zixiangqile。

3、buzixin，feichangrongyiziwofouding

 suhuashuodehao，shenghuoburuyi，shiyoubajiu。zaipingchangrenyanlibuzhiyitidexiaoxiaodezaigentou，zaiquefaanquanganzheyanlibianshiyiciyouyicideshangdaoshan、xiahuotuan。jiaruzishenzuobudaozuihaoshi，diyifanyingbingbushixiangbanfatigaoziji，zhishizishenjingong，ziwofouding，zishenjiedingcheng“yishiwucheng，yiwushichu”zheileidefumianxinxipinpaixingxiang。

4、没有安全感

 zaiyurenxiangchuzhong，nizongwangxiangzishenshibeiyiqideneiyige。lingyifangshaoyoufuyanleshi，niyejiuzaoyixiangxiangchuleyiwanzhonggebendongxideqingjing。chucizhiwai，zaishenghuozhonghaihuijixuyouyixiemeiyouanquangandezhuyaobiaoxian：lirushoujishanglibuleshou、daoyigeshengshudiqujiujianqiquanshenshangxiatifangdeng。

5、xingqingpanniguzhi，yibanzhuyaobiaoxianweijiweirouruohuojiweiwangdao

 quefaanquanganzhezaiqingganzhong，feichangrongyizhuyaobiaoxianjiduanhua。bingbushijiangzishenchedixinlai，shenzhifangzongziji;bianshijianglingyifangwanquanzhanyou，meishimeikejinzhuazhe。

6、kandaibulejiederen，huizhuyaobiaoxiandegongjinenglihenqiang

 zaiqianyishizhonglihuibameiyigechangshitiejinnidelurenxiangchengjiaxiangdi，bingweilegenghaodituxianzishenbingbingbushiruanruohaoqiya，huiyouyizhuyaobiaoxiandegongjinenglishizu，changshiweishelingyifang。

7、更非常容易沉沦

 huoxupingshishenghuozhongbingmeiyouguoduojiyujinizhenshidechenlun，dangenbierenduibi，niquegengyouchenlundefazhanqushi。liru，jiqituichi，yitouchenjinzaiyouxiyulezhong，zhengjingshiyizhituozhemeiquzuo。youyujinyouzaixiangshouzhongnicaiganjuezishenbingbushigudande，yagenmeiyouqudongliquqinfen。

8、心态很不稳定

 shangyimiaohuanshiyangguangmingmei，xiayimiaojiuleixingleidian。kaixindeqingkuangxiaganjuezishennenggoufangshouyibo，xintaiyixiaochen，bianhuikegumingxinganshoudaoxingmingburongyi，zhiweimashangjiuditangdao，lianchangshigaijindezhuguanyinsuyemeiyou。

9、huibitongnianlingrenwanshan

 queaiderenfeichangshaomangmuzixin，fandaoduishengmingzhongzheixieheianmiandefaxianheganshougengweikegumingxin。zheijiuzaocheng letadexinlizhuangtaigengweishaonianlaocheng。

10、很腼腆

 duiquefaanquangandenilaishuo，yunyingyiduanguanlianshishifenjiannande。“miantian”jinjinnizaiqianyishizhongzhongdichu、huohaipazaizheiliduanqinggantaiguozijintourudediyufangfa。

11、sanfenzhongredu，gengfeichangrongyisheqi

 zhenduiquefaanquanganzheeryan，tamendexinlishishifenmingande，bingqieziworenshishaodi。yinci ，dangtamenzaimouyijianshishanglvcizaigentou，tamenbianhuitiaojiancijidijuedeshizishen“zuobutaihao，zuobudao，bingbushizheifangmianliao”，feichangshaohuiweizijichongyudeshijianqurongruhechengzhang。

12、kanjianbingleng，shijishangxinlibipingchangrengengshanjierenyi

 tamengengxuehuiganen。jiusuanzaoshoulaiyuanyubierendeyidianxiaoendian，yehuishifenrenzhendijizaixinli。lingwaiyegengyouzerenxin，youqishijiandaogenzishenyiyangbijiaominganminganderen，bianhuimengfachuyizhong“baohuyu”。

13、shizhishang，quefaanquanganzhegengwei“yishierduli”

 zongdieryan，tamenfangfo“buzuyoutaidu”。youyutamensuoxiwangdeguanlianshijiweichonggaode、chunsuide。zheijiuzaocheng yidanguanlianzhongyoushijiyaosuqinru，bianhuilingtamenshenganxinhan。

14、jiaopengyoubiaozhunhendute

 dajiadouzhidao，yigeyuanhuashigudechengren，zaikandaimeiyiduanguanlianshi，jibenshangdouquxiangyu“nenggouzhuanqian”。liru，ganqingshiyaoyouwuzhitiaojian;youyishiyaoyoushijibangzhudeng。

 danzhenduiquefaanquanganzheeryan，tamenzegengquxiangyuchunsuideqingganshangpinliutong：niduiwohao，woyehuifanbeidixintengni，guanshibushinifudeliuyou，daquanzhangwozaizijishouli。

15、胡思乱想

 zheiyidianfanyingzaishenghuozhongdegegefangmian：qingganzhong，nichixuxunzhaolingyifangbuzaiyizishendezhijiezhengju，suihouzishencuican;youyizhong，nizongdanyoujijuhuashuodebudui，ranglingyifangshengqile;gongzuozhongli，niyoudanyounacengmianzuodebuzuhao，lingdaoganbuyoujiegunideniantou…

16、不敢相信别人

dianxingxingde“huaiyizhuyilun”zhe。

 buganxiangxinbierendeyiqiefuwuchengnuo，buganxiangxinyoujuebuguoqideaiqing，buganxiangxinyouyigerennengzhenxinshiyiduiniyouganjue、jienanideyiqieheianmian。

danmeiyourenlejie，jiniduobuganxiangxinzheizhong，jiuhuiyouduopanwangzheizhong。

17、yuezaiyideren，huituideyuezhang

 zhenduiquefaanquanganzheeryan，xuduo qingkuangxia，“xiaidoubuyidingyaozaiyiqi”。youyutamenjuede，yidanlianggerenzaiyiqi，lingyifangbianhuiyulaiyubuaixizheiyiduanqinggan，yulaiyufuyanleshizishen。yixiangdaozheizhong，tamenjiukubukanyan，ningyuanbumaichudiyibu，yanshidijiangzishenbaonangqilai。

18、gandaogudu，dannengzuozhenshideziji

 wojuedemaodun。quefaanquanganzheshihenmingbaizenyanggen“gudan”xiangchude。danciwai，tamenyoubisheidouxiangjiejuezheileijiongjing，youyutamenjingchangjuedezishenxianjieduandefumiannengliangdoulaizitaiguofengbishi。

19、十分疑神疑鬼

 bierendeyijuhua，yigemuguang，jiunengjinichuaiceshanglaobantian。tarenbidianxiangshenglveweizhongleyixie，niyejiuganjueshizijizuobuduishi。

20、mingqueyiduanguanlianhou，huibudulidiqu“quyue”lingyifang

 huoxunizijiyemeiyoufajue，zaimouyiduanqingganmingquehou，niyejiuhuixiediaoyuanxiandezhongzhongdetifang，quyuebieren。weileranglingyifangkaixin，ranglingyifangganjuegenni“touyuan”——zheijiushiniweichiganqingdefangshi，yixiebeiai。

21、feichangrongyibazijijiyuzaitarendeshenshang

 quefaanquanganzhetongchangweizijichuangjianzhongzhongdelaofang，danjiaruqueshiyouxierenjiangnicongzheichuang“laofang”zhongjiulechuqu，niyejiuhuizailingyifangyanqianchedifashengbianhuayigeren。dangshiqiangjingdewuligongjiheziwobaohulidoushuaituile，yuelaiyuejiweifeichangrongyifushang，chediyifuyulingyifang，zhizhifangzongziji。

三、缺乏安全感如何自救，来源于我补充爱?

neima，quefaanquanganshibushixiangkuaihuizhibuqudebahen，zhuisuidajiayishengni?

回答是否认的。

duiyucishimingquetichujigefangmiantiyi，jiaonihelitaosheng：

1、renqingyiwang，renkeyiqianchanshengguodebuyue

youzaihuazhentuikuanchenggongdema？「gengshiyouyuniduiyiwangdesunhaicaiyongduobidexintai，caimeifagenguoqugaobie。

yinci ，genju“renqingsunhai”lai“mianyixitongrujin”shihenbixude。

 rutongnifeichangrongyiyurenjiaolvbuan，helidefangfafandaobianshiduoduodejianren，duoduodegoutongjiaoliu，congxinlizhuangtaishangjiena、xiguanxingbingchulidiaozheileijinzhang。

zheijiushishehuixinlixuezhongde“tuominliaofa。”

2、zhenduiyiwangdenanyishihuai，changshizhangwoqishenhouxuqiu

 liru，niershibabamamadejiaoyufangshichuxiancuolou，zaocheng bicijianzaochengxuduo buyue，zheizhongsikouyizhizainixinlimeifamochu。

 danhuanyigeshijiaosisuo：babamamazuoweilaoyibeiren，shibushiyouchongzudeshehuixinlixuejibenchangshijiaoyugongzuojingyan?tamendehaobuzaiyishenhou，shifouyishuangpanwangnifeidegenggaodeshuangyan?

kanqilaishikuanrongtamen，shijishangshishihuai。

3、bubishikeweizijibuzhengdangxingdeziwoanshi

wuxuyoumudeditishizishenyouyu“quefaanquangan，”yinci yixiezhuyaobiaoxianshiduomedebutongxunchang。

jiangzishenyishitongren，qianxinbenshendefazhanqushi，biebashashidouguizuiyu“quefaanquangan。”

fangqihuanxiang，tatashishi。

4、shiduquefaanquanganbingbingbushicuoshi

queaiderenkandaiwaizaiyinsudeguandianyibanshifenkeguanxingqingchu，butaifeichangrongyibeijiaoaozidadezhuguanyishisuomihuo。

 suiranshiduquefaanquanganhenyoukenenghuidailainijinzhang，danlingwaizheileijiaolvqingxufandaoshimianlinichixuxiangqian、gengjiabaochiqingxingdequdongli。

biebaquefaanquanganchedidangzuoquexian，yibianzaibian——neiyangdezuofayuqixiaoguoweiling，shinengjinidebuzixingengjiananchu。

5、lushizhongshizishenzoude，bierenjinjinnvpeijiao

ruguonizhenshiqingxilezheiyidian，dangranburongyiduibierendeshuzuibaoyouhuanxiangle。

qiangdaziji、tishengziwoshiyongjiazhi，shizuilijihelidekaolvzishenguishugandefangfa：

zishenyaoxiangde，zugouweiziji，zheishibierendemibuzhibuguoshibianshiwuguanjinyaodegediaoeryi。

6、kandaibierenjiyudezhaogu，bubitaiyikao

babierenchanshengdewennuandangzuoshiqingfen，erbushibenfen。

yidanbabierendeaidangzuoshilisuoyingdang，neimadangzheizhongaibeixizouhou，niyouhuishenxianzuoyouweinande

chujing，suihouzaixunzhaoyiyangnaizhigengqingshendeaizuoweidaitipin。zaiyikaobierendexunhuanxitongli

循环往复。

7、tigaoxinxin，bingbazijidexiweifazhandoujixialai

tiqianzhunbeiyigebijibendiannao，bazijidemeiyibugerenmubiao，xiaofazhandouqingxijiluxialai。

zheibushixingshigan，zhishizhenshiditigaoxinxindehelifangfa。

 quefaanquanganzheguangfanbuzixin，suiranyouzongtimubiao、yizuodao，danzheiyiqudechenggongdequanguochenghuanshihenkenengbeibuzixinxiangdi。