唐伯虎点秋香经典台词完整版 星爷经典撩妹情话

 younaxieshangganjuzi?taoluqingyounaxie?liaomeiqinghuayounaxie?《tangbohudianqiuxiang》shiyibuhenduorenkanbunidejingdian，tangbohudianqiuxiangjingdianhuayuyeshibeichengqianshangwanrenxiai。yiqilaikanyixiazhouxingchizuijingdiandemingyanba!

(tangfumenkou。henduorendaodamenkoudenghounaxie。)

paolongtaojia：aiyo，zheishishenmeyuanyinya，wohaidenglesangeshijianle，haimeiyoujianchuqu!

paolongtaoyi：duia，pingshi2geshijianbianhuichuqude。

(tangfupurenwaichurenglaji)

yongrenjia：haola，fangdaodamenkou。

众佣人：是!

(xuduorenyuanlaishizaidengfeiqiwu，doushanglaiqiang)

paolongtaojia：aiyaha，wozhongyuqiangdaotangbohudemobaole!

(xuduorenqizhuipaolongtaojia)

(tangbohushouchiruanbi，yongshengchoushuajichibang)

yongrenjia：yidieshengchoushifouzugoua?

唐伯虎：慢慢的来!

yongrenjia：rujinwaimianlailahaoduorenquqiuhua，zhendemeilitamenma?

tangbohu：gongzigejinrimeixinqinghuihua，najibaofeiqiwujitaqu?

佣人甲：是!

yongrenjia：(chumenzaiwaizaimenliyudaozhuzhishan)zhudashaoye。

祝枝山：啊，唐兄!

唐伯虎：哎，祝兄!

zhuzhishan：tangxiong，jiuminga。

tangbohu：laikanzhuxiongyidingyeshizaidutingshudeqingjieliuliule?

zhuzhishan：shengwozhebabamama，zhiwozhetangxionga!

 tangbohu：jiangnandiqusidacaizidangzhong，jiuyizhuxionggengweixiaosa，renjinjiezhi!shuobailefengchuijidanqiao，caiqurenanning，cinaizhuxiongnidezuo

右铭不是吗?

zhuzhishan：guojiangguojiang，keshixiangbitangxiongdefengliuyunshisatuo，xiaoxiongdizhinengzikuiburuba!

 tangbohu：ahahaha，zhibuguoshi，zhuxiongnigejirijiushutajibailiang，shudiaolejiupaolaijiaojiuren，laoneimegao---yebushifangfa

吧?

 zhuzhishan：youjiandi，xiaoxiongdibianshiyoujianyuci,cicipofuchenzhou，yixiazibayibeizinengshudetongtongshudiao，zhengzhengdesanshiwanliang，qidai

tangxiongbangwohuasanshifuhua，yaowohaiqianjiurenya!

tangbohu：zhangwozhangwo。ashui，nichuquxian!

yongrenashui：shigongzige!

tangbohu：wang××badan，nijiangzheilidangshantang?yaoxiangsanshiwanliang?doumiantan!

 zhuzhishan：buyaozheiyangzima，doushiwobuhao，wobuhao，xianzaiwokoutouchengrencuowu。nimeinianzaiwojieyubotuanrangnishufudefenshang，niye

 xiangyixiangzheijinianwobangnimaihualoulexuduo qiannei!rujinwaibianneihaoduogedaoshangdixiongshuo，sanzhuxiangyihouwonabushangsanshifuhuajiuxuyaojiangwoda

xiebakuaile!nikuaibangbangmang!

 tangbohu：sanzhuxiang?heng，buyaoshuodixiongbuzhaoliaoni，zainilingpenglaiyidingtinixiefuwanlian，yixiesiyouyugu，yixiesibuzuxi!

你自己选好啦!

 zhuzhishan：bohua，bubineimejuezenmeyang?lebuqiwofaledushi，jiaruzhihouwozaidubodehua，jiuyaotiandizuichoudenvrenririyeye

，zhizhibiantilinshang，jijikeweicaixing，neiyangjiuxingleba?

tangbohu：a?!neimebeitongdedushinidoufadechuqu?haowoyezaibangniyici!lairen，wenfangsibaosihou!

zhuzhishan：tangxiongjianzhichidanzhongxin，xiagudanxina!

tangbohu：feihuashaoshuo，bangwotuo!

zhuzhishan：a?!tuoguangyifu?

(tangbohuyongzhuzhishanderentihuihua)

zhuzhishan：niyaowansiwoya?

zhuzhishan：jianzhishenhuqiji，jishibeinijikansidouzhide?zheijiaoshenmemingtanga?

 tangbohu：zhuangkuoba?zheichengweixiongyingzhanchi，qituntianditu?zheifuhuadeyidifunineisanshiwanliang，niyaozhihouqianwanbielaifanwole。

 zhuzhishan：neijiushiyiding，yiding?danshizuiyaowoqinpeitangxiongdebianshi，nenggou jiangwoxiongkoudeshuangdianzuohua，liangshouzhangzuoshu，tunbubianshi，qian

足坐云，后足成山。

zhuzhishan：ai，neizhiweiwudeniaoyingshiyongwoshentidenayigeweizhihuade?

tangbohu：yongdeshizhuweideminggen。

zhuzhishan：guozhenchubulaiwosuoxiang，haozhuang、jiqing，zhenshibizhenwubi!

tangbohu：woshuodeshiyingzuishangdiaodeneiyitiaoxiaochongzi，tanhedehaozhuang、jiqingzhiyou?qie!

zhuzhishan：ng?yeba，hei，haidaigoude!

 huawaiyin：tangbohu，yumingxianzongchenghualiuniangengyinnianyinyueyinriyinshichusheng，guchengtangyin，youyinshuhu，guyoumingtangbohu。tangyinconghui

 juejiao，shanshuishigeshuangjie，wenjujiangnandiqusidacaizizhishou，weineishihoulaolaoshaoshaosuoqinpeidechaojiouxiang。ergengweirenzantanbuyide，jiushitayouzhe

baweitianxiangguosedexiaojiaoqi，huangruxianrenmeijuan，，xianshatarena!

 mouxifu：shenshou!nideshenshangyoumuyouyidianyinlianga?xiannalaiyongyiyongma!youmuyounongcuoa?!caineimeyidianya!lailelaile……

woyouyouyinzile，keyiwanle。

mouxifu：kuaidianerfufeina!

mouxifu：shibushinichuqianya?!laojiushiniyingde。

tangbohu：geweixiaoniangzi，laichidianjituiba?

mouxifu：nitiaojigutouqula?zheimeduoniancaihuijia?dajiabaifanglemeiyou，kuaidianerla，haolehaole，kaizhanla。

tangbohu：wodebaihuashengkaitu---

mouxifu：aiya，zheiyounaxielebuqidema，rangwomendianyidiancanzhuoma，xiaoqigui!

mouxifu：niyaoweisini，meishierzaihuayifubujiukeyilema?

tangbohu：danshizheiyi……

mouxifu：xianhuashaoshuo，dajialaicaiquanba!zimeihao，sanxingzhaoya，sijicai!he!

某媳妇：你干啥呀?

tangbohu：wodewenjiya!

mouxifu：nikankanzheizhanglancanzhuolaowaiyibian，dianleyibenhaigaodibuping，nilainaliangyuanben，a?

tangbohu：ai!wodebainiaochaofengtu，heyinlianniaotoudoubujianle?

mouxifu：nizenmeneimaluosuoa?!bierendeyaojibujianle，jienideniaoeryongyixiadoubuxinga?

tangbohu：a~~~ni……

(tangbohudelaomazhuqiandiaosi)

tangbohu：laoma，niganshenme?

 mouxifu：aiyo，jiapodiaosila!dajiahaihenmankanyikanta，ai!dengyixia，xianqipai，shuangtianzhizun!tongchi!haizhenxie，kuaifufei

呀!

tangbohu：laoma，wocao!nixiudoula?

 zhuqian：laomabuqizuoyong!rangniqulebagexifulaishihouni，nihuanshibufuhe，yitiandaowanchoumeibuzhande，wojuedewohaishisilesuanleba!

tangbohu：laoma，nijuedezheizhongganshenmeni?woconglaimeiyouyuanguonixiayijuya。

 zhuqian：bohua，nirujinshinianshaoyouwei，shiyechenggong，wanguanjiacai，zheiqiqiechengquna，niyinggaishishijiezuikuailederenle，bu

是不是?

tangbohu：womeishuoguowobukuaile!

zhuqian：weiheniyitiandaowanbianzhanggelian?shifouxianxifuermenpeibushangniya?

 tangbohu：ai，laomaninia，ganjinrongyidedao，zhiyinnanqiu，wogenzheijigexiaoniangzisuiranyoufufuzhiming，keshitongchuangyimengya!

zhongxifu：neimenishikanbushangdajiale?wobibushangsilesuanle!

(众媳妇一起吊死)

tangbohu：wa!bageyiqidiaosi?!hedengzhuangkuoa!

 zhuqian：kuaiqiangjiuya!xifuer，wodexifu……nimeishiba?!bohua，niqueshiyaogaodaohengshibianye，xuezhandaodinicailingrenmanyiya?

tangbohu：woyoumeijiangguo……

zhongxifu：nifangkaishou……yaowosiqu……

唐伯虎：不必闹啦!

zhuqian：bohu，nidaoshishuohuaya!

 tangbohu：bubichaola!duibuqi!jigexiaoniangziwenrouxianliangshude，chijiayoudao，zhishudali，shiwobuhuimingbaishangxi，wobaoqiandahuoer，qing

大伙儿请原谅我!

zhongxifu：nigaoqingchujiuhaole!

mouxifu：fujun，nixiaoyixiaoa!

某媳妇：笑一笑嘛。

mouxifu：xiaodetaicouhele!woxiangkaixindiande!

mouxifu：ya，ruheneimabuhaokan?xiaogehaokandiande。

mouxifu：duia，xiaopiaoliangyidiandema。

tangbohu：hahahahahaha，hahahahahaha~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

zhongxifu：lai，dajiacaiquanba。

zhuqian：bohu，nikanyixiatamenduoaizheniya!zhihouniyejiubiezaicuoguojigexifuerduinideyipiankuxinla。

yongren：qizi，ningwangpairenlaiyaojiangongzige。

tangbohu、zhuqian：ningwang?

zhuqian：ningwangrujinyijingqitumoufan，tapairenlai，nandaoshuoxianglalongni?

tangbohu：ai，guantani，nilaijiwoxiaomotazoujishile。

佣人：请!

yongren：qizi，tamen---

teshi：ai，tangbohuni?dajiafuheiwangyeyaoqingtahuilaidangcanmouzhang，kuaidianerjiaotachuqu!

zhuqian：jianzhibaoqianlezhuwei，xiaohaishenranbingwei，bukeyijianke，ningwangdehaoxinxinlingle，zhuweiqinghuiba。

 teshi：ahahaha，weishenmehuineimeqiaoa?dajiafuheiwangyeyaoqingderentongtongdoubingle。danshifuheiwangyezaoyiyuliaodaoyouciyizhaoa，yaowolian

taiyiyechanshengle，womenqujitamenjiuyiba。

朱茜：嗯?!这……

teshi：tangbohu!(teshidengchuangjinjia，fajuetangbohuzaidachijichibang，wenduizhuqian)ai，nibushishuotabingdehenlihai?!

zhuqian：ta……tashibingdehenlihaiya!

teshi：ruguobingdeqiangda，ruhehaihuijixuyoushiyuchijichibangni?

zhuqian：a，nishizenmehuishi?

tangbohu：ai……feichangjiandan，youyu---(chang)qingdunyuyi，woxihuanchi---

teshi：(chang)keshinilaomashuonikuaishengkong---

zhuqian：(qichang)yuekuaishengkongjiuyueyingdangyaopinlemingchi，jiarurujinbuyaochi，zhihoumeijiyuzaichi!

teshi：(chang)niqueshikuaishengkong?!

tangbohu：(chang)woqueshikuaishengkong---

(sanrenqichang)jiarurujinbuyaochizhihoumeijiyuzaichi!

teshi：kuaisiderenyeyoutangjieyuanneimehaodemiansejianzhihanjian，taiyi，jitangjieyuanbahaomai，kanyixiajiujingyouduobijiaoyanzhong?

taiyi：shi，tangjieyuandemaizhensipingbawen，henyiqiezhengchangya!meiyouwentia!

(tangbohuyongtaijiquangenggaimaizhen，taiyidajing)

特使：他怎么了?

tangbohu：wohaiyoujiuma?

太医：试一试。

特使：究竟怎么了。

taiyi：wocongweitingguo……neimeluandemaizhen!

特使：你听见哪些?

太医：将军令!

特使：哪些?!

taiyi：wokanniyaganjinzhunbeihoushiba!tangjieyuan，woxiangaobiele!

teshi：yibiangebansibuhuorenxiaohaoneimeduodeshijian!zou!

zhuqian：taiyi，kuaibangbangwode---

 zhuqian：chusheng，xiagui，nijibujizhuniyiqianzainisiguilaobalingqianfabiaoshi，shuoburongyixielouninengwuxuezheiyimimi，jinriniweihe

么要破戒?

tangbohu：wohaijide，danshiganggangxingshixiongxian，genghekuangwozhishiyongneigonggenggailezishendemaizheneryi。

zhuqian：buhaipayiwan，weikongwanyi，yidanrangzhoujiadechoudifajuenishibawangqiangdechuancheng，nilikejiuhuichuxianhuoduande!

tangbohu：laoma，dajiazhoujiadechoudidaodidaodishishei?weiheniyizhiyebugenwoshuo?

 zhuqian：ai，wozhiqianbugaosuni，shiyouyuninianqingqisheng，panilaireshishengfei，rujinnizaoyizhangdale，woyegaozhininhaole，dajiatang

家，有几大仇敌!

(回看)

 zhuqian：zaiqizhongyigeshiduomingshusheng。dangchutamenerrenyibianjiaozhubingqipushangdepaixing，jiujuecedabiwu，woweikongduomingshushengshizhanyinmou

laiyinsuannidie，yinciyizhizaipangjiankongzheta………

(tangtianhaoyuduomingshushengduijue)

zhuqian：woyinsuanzheigeduanshoudeduomingshusheng，tianhaoge，niyingdingle，fangxin!

唐天豪：高过你!

zhuqian：ni**bani!(yongyinmou，nongshangtangtianhao)

tangtianhao：shenmeya?aya，zhuqian?!

朱茜：当心啦!

zhuqian：wojuedenisibusi?!(yongyinmou，younongshangtangtianhao)

tangtianhao：zhuqian，ni---

zhuqian：dangxin!youlaile!

zhuqian：buxing，jinyouwoyongdejuejile!**ba!

(sachuhenduoxiaozhu，quezaiduwuzhongtangtianhaodelian)

tangtianhao：zhuqian，nipaodaozheierjiaoshenmejua?

zhuqian：wo……dangxina!dangxina!

tangtianhao：bunengzou!nixianshuoqingxizaigaoshenmewanyi!

zhuqian：woshiaini，.wobangzhenideya!

tangtianhao：jiwoshenmea?piezheizhongmeiyouyongdehongdou?

zhuqian：zheizhongbingbushihongdou!zheishiwochuangyifamingdexiujianpilileizhu!

tangtianhao：pinaxielinaxieleishenmea?

zhuqian：nibuyaoxiaoqiaota，tafashengbaozhaqilaishashangliwuxian!taoluqingyounaxie?younaxieshangganjuzi?

tangtianhao：weishenmedongxilinaxie……?huibao?

(leizhufashengbaozha，tangtianhaolianbeizhazhong)

tangtianhao：zhuqian，shibushinifeidewansiwonicaiganyuana?

tangbohu：a!xiucaiduomingjian?!

 zhuqian：jiuzaizheilizuixiongxiandejinyaoguantou，nidietaturanshizhanrenshijianshangzuikongbuzuikepademizhixiujian，zongsuanniuqulequanbudejushi---

(又返回回看)

tangtianhao：fangxiujian!(bazhuqianrenglechulai)

tangtianhao：bazhuhuimaqiang!(qiangpeijianbeiduomingshushengduanlie)a，meiqiangpeijian?!

(duomingshushengyijiancishangtianhao)

tangtianhao：zenmehuizheiyang?

tangbohu：guaibudediezuizhongyuyuerzhong。

 zhuqian：nidiemeiyouxiangqiduomingshushenglianchungangshengchanzhizaodeqiangpeijiandouzhededuan，yincitalinzhongdeqingkuangxia，jiufeichangshengchanzhizaolezheiyibitieyingde

hantieqiangpeijian，fangzhiduomingshushengzhanjinshajue。

tangbohu：nibushishuodajiayoujidachouren，lingyigeyoudaodishishei?

 zhuqian：ciwaiyigebianshidangchugenwoqiangnidiededisanzheya，danshitazaoyichujiala，wojuedeshimeiyoushenmejiyuhuiyudaotadela。

tangbohu：laoma，wojuedelikaijiajiribibifengtou，yifangningwangtayoupairenlaiyaowodebubian。

 zhuqian：neimeniyaojizhudaizhuzheizhitieqiangpeijianyifangwanyi，yaojizhulelaa!yinweidangchunidietashudiaole，yincixianrujinbingqipushang，shu

shengduomingjianshipaimingdier，dajiabawangqiangpaimingdisan，xiaolifeidaonisuanzuodisila。

mouxifu：(jingguo)bajiaosuojinlai!

tangbohu：neipaimingdiyidedaodishishei?

zhuqian：bianshixiaolifeidaotaniang，keshitazaoyiqushile!

tangbohu：e，yuanlaishixiaozhaotemedadao，zhenkeshi!

mouxifu：aiyodajiabieliaole，laicaiquan。liaomeiqinghuayounaxie?